Someone Loves You

Today jam d

2012-01-27T18:53:00.001+08:00

Today the jam is back! Welcome back everyone!!! Good to see everyone :) its also raining thus causes the jam too.

On the first day of cny -- cute discovery

2012-01-23T14:32:00.001+08:00

Today I discovered a very cute fact about the plc tt I am sleeping in. Not only they have a pool, a pond of koi fish but also a group of turtles wondering in a small garden!! How cute is tt!!! Turtles!!! Free in the garden!! A small garden especially for them. Cute or not the turtles??

The year of the Dragon!

2012-01-23T12:23:00.001+08:00

It was a great reunion dinner. Waiting to see the pictures Nigel's cousin took with his dslr. Definitely nicer then my cam photos. It rain in kl, Sunday morning. It was a good day for travelling a distance. It was very sunny in jb n it actual rain before during n after the dinner. Very the mah fan but it was enjoyable.

Food was ok but entertainment is worst then last year. Only got singing n belly dancing. Last year got magic show n other performance. But I do appreciate the hard work n time spent for this event. They missed out on their own reunion dinner with family for tt night. So I still feel bless for being able to enjoy tt moment.

Happy chinese new year everyone!!

7pm

2012-01-19T19:23:00.001+08:00

Still bright at 7pm where I am at. Not feeling well today so took mc for the day. My whole family is not feeling well. Then in a spur of the moment we registered my son for kindergarten near by my place. It's an old plc n it's a little run down but they speak and teach mandarin!early morning they even have learn 三字经 (which I dunno anything about :) it is really a right plc for Alex... Hope the Lord's angels will be with him to protect him, guide him n cheer him on and when he comes home, the good Lord will grant him a good rest.

Work had been stressful n it's not going to be any better but when I come home, it's all worth it. I should keep on doing my best n give my best.

Thank you Lord for ur peace n assurance. Am I scared bout the future? Of course I am but I am going to trust God n take His lead.

Life goes on...

2012-01-19T00:06:00.001+08:00

Received some unpleasant news from my new company today tt make me a little sad n moody.. But, it is good it is good. Who could tell me tt it is not good except myself right? It could be a really good thing. :) I will just have to trust God n listen to his direction. My only fear is that I wasted too much time trying to figure out His direction.

Today in the office we had a debate bout religion. I know what I believe will not be so acceptable in everyone 's eyes n there will be disagreement and sensitive issue. Declaring who is right n who is wrong. Very very sensitive issue, really. When I discuss these matters with friends, my goal is not to prove or to win, but rather to show understanding, mercy n grace. Some may think tt this action is wimpy act n tt I am not firm in God's truth or words. That I did not stand up for the Lord etc ( you know wht I mean lar hor) but its ok. Coz I only care what God think of my action n even though some out there may disagree with my method of grace, I have peace in me to know that what I did was right. I am not here to prove Our God is the one true God. I am here to share the gospel (share not argue) which is the great commission n most of all- love the Lord your God with all ur heart, all ur soul, all ur strength n with all ur mind; and love ur neighbour as urself, which is the great commandment.

So, in the end we agree to disagree and it was a peaceful ending. I do hope to share in a better way next time, but if one is not ready to receive let us not rush it. We can only pray that God's grace will touch their lives m truly bless them like how Jesus have blessed me.

Btw, I just realised tt there r Christians out there who doesn't believe tt Jesus is God! Tt he is just a prophet tt shared the good news.. I dun believe it... If He is not God, then why do we pray in Jesus name? We pray in Abraham or Elijah or moses's name lar.. Or in paul's name??? (see, even Christian teaching will differ..) it is scary to know that there r Christians out there who could think tt Jesus is not God!!! I have heard of other religion telling me tt Jesus is a prophet but not from a Christian!? Seriously? What is wrong with the world!?

With this said, there will be ppl who will disagree n really believe tt Jesus is not God as how I truly believe tt Jesus is God and not mere human. Jesus is God in human form. My prayer would be that God will give me wisdom n grace to show others how great is my God. If others dun think He is, it doesn't matter coz I know He is, and I pray that me And my household, we will serve the Lord... (praying hard for my own family to encounter Jesus.)

Ok, am very sleepy d.... Night night

Good morning Warriors!

2012-01-18T09:02:00.001+08:00

We r all warriors :) especially those who rely on the spirit of the Lord. U r a warrior! Life is not a bed of roses most of the time and we need to just chop off all the weeds of life to move forward!(ok, sounds like a gardener rather than a warrior ;p lol) but both holds a sword (and I do hope u r holding the word of the Lord as ur sword to fight!) to fight n go to battle everyday.

Thank you Jesus for ur word and wisdom so we know when to hold on, when to let go and have the strength to do either one when called to.

Have courage!!

Testing testing

2012-01-17T16:26:00.001+08:00

123 :)

So much on my mind right now..

2012-01-09T01:25:00.003+08:00

How I miss writting and updating my blog.. I need to find time to do the things I want to do besides working my butt of everyday!!! Since GI came into my life.. it has created a lot of problems in my personal life.. perhaps it is becuase I take it really seriously this time.. I really work hard and did much more then my previous jobs.. I really like to work for a prestige company such as GI.. but after 3 months of hard work.. I'm not sure if it's going to pay off.. :( I am sooo stressed out that it shows.. ON MY FACE!!! Still.. not many knows that I am stuggling with this, not tt i'm not honest about it.. it's just that it's work.. everyone goes through it, right? and we all need to work on it... but i think.. God is teaching me something.. that I cannot rely on my job to provide for me and my family.. I must rely solely on Him.. I must put in more time to really proclaim His peace and joy, love and grace upon my life.. I want to put in quality time being in His presence and Doing His will.. I want to do what really matters to God.. My priority is the same.. it has not change..

A lot on my mind.. God, my family, my youths, my career, my friends etc.. so much to think about? That's what you get from a Melancholic person.. LOL.. Think too much sometimes.. but it is becuase I care so much, that is why I think about everyone.. Especially my youths.. especially recently.. I am so glad that each and everyone of them is in my life.. their courage, commitment and effort reminds me of God's goodness.. I don't deserve the love of these young ones because many have left me before that I do not dare to ask for more, and I can still feel the pain.. I hold no grudges, I hold no unforgiveness.. just sadness as I have to expect and must understand that people leave and move on else where, especially in my ministry.. still it doesn't mean I don't feel anything.. But when I know that they are doing well else where, doing what is God asking them to do and fullfilling God's calling upon their lives.. I am actually rejoicing for God's faithfullness and goodness! They may not think of me anymore but My Lord! you are still soreign!!! ahahaha I can really put them into your hands and You will take good care of them.. (the fact that they are not YET back with Christ doesn't mean God is not doing anything ok? I know God is doing amazing things in their lives.. I just know it!)

I am excited for 2012! with load sof challenges to overcome this year!!! I am a bit scared to be honest.. last week My darling Melissa fell and had to go for stiches on her forehead.. a 45min Operation and stayed overnight in the hospital for obvervation some more ler.. scary and heart breaking situation.. I still praise the Lord that Melissa was all good during the ordeal (except when we forced her to put on the bandage or have to take her temperature or poke the niddle into her blood vassel. That.. she was screaming..) She is fine but will leave a scare on her forehead.. I pray that there will not be any intellectual, emotional and physical damage.. The scares will heal and I believe it can be smoothen and invisible.. :D (Thank God I just got her insurance few months ago.. the bill will cost us a Bomb!!!)

Coming back to my job or career? I leave it in God's hands right now.. Like I always say.. Let me do my best and let God help me do the rest.. Thank you Jesus for making us into overcomers..

I have a dream..

2011-09-29T16:31:00.003+08:00

I have a dream. Where one day my church hall will be filled with people.. Not just the youth (even though that is my ministry) but people from the very young babies to the super senior citizens. They are here not to please anybody but God alone. They are here not to judge anybody but to love God and His people. They are here to fullfill not their desires nor their passion but to fullfill the calling of God and the His desire that God has set upon their lives! They are not here to fill in the emthy places but they are here so they can reach out to the world outside these walls!

I have a dream.. where everyone that was hurt are healed. Where everyone that was in pain have found peace. Where everyone in doubth have found focus. Where everyone that is lost, found meaning. Where everyone with bondages be set free! Where everyone that is proud be humble. Where everyone that is timid have courage! Where everyone with a past will have a bright future! Where everyone with a broken home found a loving family! Where everyone struggles becomes an opportunity towards maturity! Where everyone that has no confidence will learn to have confidence in the Lord!

I have a dream.. that everyone will know that they are loved by someone greater then the Universe, that they are loved by the ONE that created it in the first place... That everyone will be able to receive this love and live their lives to the fullest.. That even though circumstances may seem hard to overcome, they still have hope and that their future is in God's hand.. That everyone will trust in God and just do their best..

I have a dream.. because I believe God keeps His promises.. Thank you Jesus..

Am I any different? perhaps not.. but I am learning.. are you?

2011-09-27T10:10:00.005+08:00

Coming of a new beginning... New challenges and new excitements.. Also a new level of responsibility and new level of stress.. haih.. and even though I am really doing my best.. I don't feel I have succeeded in doing anything much.. why ah? Is it because God is not blessing the fruit of my labour? Is it time to move on?

Many People don't like change.. I love Change.. Every time I finish my exams, I use to go home and do some spring cleaning and change my whole room to another setting.. Of course if Change is in our control, it is more fun.. But when we are not in control of change, we are very fearful, very confused, very worried.. Do I worry? Sometimes I do, but I don't worry for too long coz I know everything will be straighten out should we just continue to work on it and improve.. I don't understand why some people don't want to learn, or change for the better.. well.. perhaps it's just their choice lar.. but then don't they know that their decision will effect others? They think they can just do what ever they want? They think that others not suffering also meh? They think what they do can be enough meh? What ever you do will ever be enough! What ever I do will never be enough.. how can it be enough? when Man are selfish beings, only thinking of themselves.. so my question is how can we be different?

I can only count on God to help me keep my cool.. in everything I do.. I do not claim to be the best person you know but I do try, I give it my best and I do want to ask, "what do you want me to do already? Have I not done my best? har? What have you done to make anything different? You keep doing the same thing and expect things to change? Sorry lor.. You can nag or complain all you want but It's not going to change anything."

As the saying goes... Yes, the apple don't fall far from the tree.. but why can't we learn and be better then the original tree? We are human, not some vegetable! Learn lar.. do something productive. I am not a plant! I move on if I have to.. as long as it is God's will, I will do it. It is a privilege to live in God's will and even though sometimes life is hard but His will shall always prevail..

Am I any different? perhaps not.. but I am learning.. are you?

Testing testing

2011-09-13T09:51:00.003+08:00

I wonder will this work.. Hello world!!!

Do you trust God?

2011-09-10T23:52:00.002+08:00

Do you trust God??

Wanted to share the video here but I don't really know how.. so hopefully you will go to the link I ahve attached with the sentence.. Enjoy and reflect..

JESUS.......WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU REGARDLESS

2011-09-08T23:45:00.000+08:00

LUST.......will leave you loveless
POWER.......will leave you heartless
DRUGS.......will leave you senseless
M0NEY.......will leave you comfortless
JESUS.......WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU REGARDLESS ♥

FB post by my good fren Jemyee.. :D

I WON!!!

2011-09-07T04:29:00.001+08:00

I won the AVON write in contest from Comopolitan Mag!!! ahahaha.. worth RM250!!! ahahaha.. and you know what I actually got!!! 6 sticks of ip sticks.. =.="

What am I going to do with 6 Lipstick? my hubby told me that I can always give them away as gifts.. hey! It's still new and it cost me my effort to write and send in my contest! So, I have promised to share it to two of my frens in the office and one girl from youth :) I always like to give away good stuffs.. something like a santa clause (but I don't like santa! i mean, I dun hate the person but i just don't like him being the center of Christmas most of the time..) but ya.. My love language is gifts.. so to make me happy, very simple.. get me a gift :D and I realize that even spending time for me is also a type of gift, especially when it is my special day or even the worst day.. it is called the gift of time.. (it's different from quality time..which is new to me and yet makes sooo much sense.. )

It makes sense becuase I don't want to hang out ALL the time but I'd love to hang out during those special times.. It's is very depressing/sad when it's my birthday and it is forgotten.. well.. may be i just need to grow up and accept the fact that ppl aren't perfect :) thus! lowered my expectations and be more understanding.. (not more realistic.. but more understanding..) anyway... I am still shawered by gifts everyday from God.. His gift of nature and the morning sun always brightens up my day... a morning in the pool with my kids always makes me happy and contented.. and next I would like to go shopping.. thank you.. :P.. hahaha.. (ok.. go shopping and go clubbing is diff one ah ok? go shopping will never get you accidentally pregnant! but go clubbing might..I rather perfer my children go shopping then go clubbing lor..)

From Avon gifts to shopping n clubbing.. apelar.. LOL.. ok lar.. stop here for now..

Sarah Kay: If I should have a daughter ...

2011-09-06T23:59:00.001+08:00

This is really cool!! I should start with expressing myself via words.. wait.. I am doing that :D just not saying it out loud.. rather i just rant it over here in my blog. Just wanna share this as it is very interesting.. Thanks to Eric who shared it on FB.. her voice sound very sweet and according to Eric.. she is hot! LOL.. I love the title.. "If I had a daughter.." perhaps I can write one for my little girl Melissa.. and tell her the things I want her to know as my daughter and even one for my son.. :D but i guess, one pharagraph would not be enoughto describe what I wanted to share to them.. :) Yet.. it is a great idea.. I got a journal for them both.. may be that would be enough? my hand written journal of them and for them.. (some about me and thier daddy and our family.. ) Typing it would be faster and more neat.. but they will not see my un-neat hand-writting lor.. :P.. well.. they can read here and they can read from the journals lar.. :)

I am not judging you but seriously.. think before you act lar..

2011-09-04T04:06:00.000+08:00

Some one wrote this on their FB status "Feel wanna go clubbing, dance n hav fun. Bt got foc de kah?"

I was tempted to reply her "mama of two wonderful bb.. "sang sin did" lor.. mama d still wanna go clubbing? should hv tot of it before u got pregnant..."

What makes my statement worst is that she got pregnant out of wedlock, before marriage, but thank God she can still marry the person that got her pregnant.. so ya.. my statement sound very cruel.. thus I didn't post it..

BUT seriously?? What kind of signal are you sending to other mothers especially young mothers? or even younger girls?? or even your children next time?? Don't we have the responsibilty to be responsible? Now that you are a mother. You have more responsibility ler? Never think one ah?? really should have think about our actions before thinking of wanting to go clubbing lor, right? You ask me "wht is wrong with wanting to go clubbing?".. First, it shows that you are not ready to have children for you do not think of sacrificing your own pleasure for them.. worst still clubbing!? You say dance not too bad.. Clubbing?? Find lar a better thing to do rather then clubbing.. can ah?? second.. you know what is the meaning of clubbing or not? if you do, you seriously want your two dugthers to follow your footsteps?? tell me.. seriously?? That could may well be the reason you got pregnant in the first place!! GGgrrrrrrrrr!!!~~~ Why have you not learn from your mistakes?

A lot of ppl out there may be cursing me for sharing my opinion, but let's be honest.. come on.. Don't you think you need to think before you act? Even before you get angry with me? You may even say I should think before I post this post and I'm telling you I have and I cannot accept the thinking of a person who is now trying to raise two beautiful young girls wanting to go clubbing one free night... I don't care about you can afford it or someone can take care of your kids or your husband allows or you are going with a bunch of girls..

If you have not grown up to raise a family or children, please think twice before you have sex. Other ppl will say "Never heard of protection meh.. The point is that you want to go clubbing! at your current status and responsibility, you should not have that desire so you should have thought about that before you got pregnant! That is what I am saying! ah?" ha! You think you know how to use it the first time ah? Even the first time also you can get pregnant one.. Never learn in your science class is it? Now i'm telling you lar.. To the boys, keep your hands to yourself everytime you are on a date! Guys is activated by sight then touch.. and girls, don't simply allow a guy to touch you anywhere.. it's not helping... that whatever romantic feeling u are feeling, i can tell you it is not love! It's call hormones! It's call passion! but it is not love..

Anyway... that is another topic lar.. haih.. just please.. stop indulging in things of your youth that will not benefit u nor ur family... especially when you have children to raise.. having them is s huge responsibility.. it's far more then having puppies..

Awesome quote...

2011-09-03T15:48:00.000+08:00

I try to give to the poor people for love what the rich could get for money. No, I wouldn't touch a leper for a thousand pounds; yet I willingly cure him for the love of God. -- Mother Teresa

TheAsiaSpa.. can't wait for my turn!!!

2011-09-02T15:55:00.003+08:00

I wanna go for a massage with my frens!!! :D

TheAsiaSpa I am so looking forward to it!! anyone else wanna go with me?? only 3 days to buy the coupon!! ahahaha..

I know many will think that it is a waste of money.. but living in a stressful part of town, to keep myself sane.. I do need some me time.. spending time with God in the morning is one of those me time that I need and another is the quite time with me-self or a friend chatting away.. :)

Just wanna share something nice.. :D Who ever got the coupon! Enjoy it!!

How can you help your gay child????

2011-08-29T14:55:00.004+08:00

DON'T WORRY.. I'm not saying my son or daughter is gay.. (grandparents, family and friends don't get over excited ya :) It's just a topic that I read through a mother's forum the other day.. Some of the comments really strike a heart string of (i could say) anyone/everyone who reads it.. How they would accept their children eventhough that is the child's decision to live their lives like tt.. I am not sure if I can be that strong.. :(

I am sure Mother Teresa don't mind who she serve, Martin Luther King have compassion for them and Jesus love them... but to give birth to a child you nurture, educate and love, and then come to tell you that he/she decides to live that way.. will break my heart and shattered it to bits.. It is not bad or evil, it's just wrong. Just like how disobeying our parents (that is in the Lord) is wrong.. why is it wrong? It's just wrong in God's eyes and I know that is not what God wants them to do..

I wrote this to a young girl the other day about Jesus's love... that if we notice, Jesus loved His disciples most becuase He stay with them, eat with them, talk to them, share personal revelation with them etc etc.. but for the crowds, He loved them too but He did not stay with them through out His ministry.. He stayed for a few days and then leaves becasue He has to serve others.. THEY didn't follow Him either.. His diciples followed Him and some of His disciples left Him and only 12 remain at one time.. Yes, Jesus dine with the sinners, eat with them, visit their home, talk to them etc.. Even Peter Simon is also a sinner (one who broke Jesus's heart by denying Him 3 times..) and God is a God of second chances but we have to know that who has the upper hand to know more about the Kingdom of God comparing the two (Disciples and the Crowds)? I'm sure you already know the anwer...

so my question is this.. You want to be the crowd that knows that Jesus love them or His diciples, who loved Him by following His commandments.. I'm not asking you to be perfect. I only ask that you follow Jesus and don't tell me Jesus ask you or MADE you gay..

So how I can help?

TO be honest.. I can only hope and pray that my children will not face this problem.. becuase I know it is hard, I WILL NEVER be able to help my children overcome this, only God can.. As for me, God ask me to dicipline, teach, instruct and rebuke them throught the word.. and love them.. I will CHOOSE to love them no matter what!!! (YOU HEAR ME!!! I love you no matter what!!!) but I know God cannot use them in His Kingdom and what ever blessings that is due to them, will be given to someone else who follow Jesus... (when I talk about blessings, it is not of this world.. we can sometimes only receive our blessings when Jesus comes back and create a new world..because I have seen, in this world, there is no justice, no real peace, even a good man will die in cruel death but I have hope. That my prince of Peace will be sitting on the Throne of Glory! All that has suffered in His name will be redeemed and restored.. my hope is in you, Lord.. )

So it is either you are the crowd or you are Jesus's disciples..

you choose. your choice. your responsibility.

What I have learn today..

2011-08-26T14:34:00.002+08:00

Each of us must decide daily to love or not to love our spouses. If we choose to love, then expressing it in the way in which our spouse requests will make our love most effective emotionally.. - Gary Chapman Author of The 5 Love Languages..

I am sorry...

2011-08-23T16:45:00.004+08:00

I am sorry for not being caring enough.. Let me learn to be a better listener..

DIGIdearmalaysians

When neighbours disagree ...

2011-08-11T11:11:00.001+08:00

http://www.todayonline.com/Singapore/EDC110808-0000102/Number-of-neighbour-disputes-hit-high

Not sure will you go read this online.. ahaha but aiyo... like tt also want to complain meh?? the curry incident especially.. adn the kids screaming.. alamak... kids mar.. sure cry and scream one lar, just the level of it lor.. What happens to being tolerance and understanding? The neighbours should get to know each other lor.. :(

No wonder my Muslim neighbour moved out.. coz i got 2 dogs?haih.. could be.. I am sorry but we have tried to keep them quiet.. and they are most of the time..

I love the smell of my neighbours cooking.. it makes me wanna cook too :D as for the screaming children.. as long as it's not abuse (must go and check one..) it's ok lar.. What do u expect from little children? (This only happens after you have your own kids.. LOL.. I was critical too until I have my own.. then only I understand..)

Case Study 2 :

2011-08-09T10:21:00.003+08:00

You are leading 100 people in a survivalist situation, when suddenly your lives are in danger and you must choose between two courses of action.

-One would cause 10 of the people to die and everyone else would live.

-One would have a 70% chance of saving everyone but were it to fail then everyone would die.

Which would you choose?

I will pray.. different situation takes different solutions at that time.. God's wisdom is truly needed.. I will not gamble with life with either one unless it is God' instruction..

But off hand, I would choose the first.. to ask 9 more ppl to sacrifice their life in order for the rest to live.. because that is what Jesus did.. He died so every else can live.. A lot of times, that is what I see we needed to do, to sacrifice (in obedience) in order for others to live.. In society, in the work place, in the church, in our family...

If you see that the group of ppl is 100 christian then yes, all of us will not mind dying together. One heart, one spirit, united in the Lord.. but what if 100 ppl represent the world population? which means it's consist of diff kinds of ppl, race, faith, age etc... Do we expect everyone to understand why we decides to endanger everyone lives? Would we be willing to see those unsaved burn in hell when we could have given them sometime to believe in Jesus and be saved?

It is easy to decide when that 100 ppl are all faithful Christians.. but if not, I would rather risk my life for those I love and still not saved.. wouldn't you?

Would we die with Jesus?

Fast and prayer for change starts now!

2011-08-08T11:30:00.003+08:00

I know that when we fast and pray we should not make it a big deal.. and I'm not but I want to encourage my fellow frens, especially the younger ones to keep up the good work and stay focus on what we are praying for...

The first day of our prayer item yesterday was sooo relevant and it is to pray for our Pastors and Elders.. I've shared on Saturday Youth meeting that our church leaders need to be up hold in prayer and avoid having the misleading though that "oh. leaders can take care of themselves, they don't need us or our prayers...".. The Leaders need everyone especially their members to be supportive and backing them up especially during tough and striving times.. Leaders are human and we make mistakes too. so don't treat us like superman or God that can do everything perfect.. we do try and our expectations of ourselves is higher and yes, sometimes we do have pride, forgive us.. We are all still learning and running the race.. We hope to see our pastors and leaders continue to run this race and serve His church for a very long time.. We do not want to see anyone give up! To my dear pastor and wife, please do not give up on us! We may have caused you pain or dissapointments but forgive us and give us and others a chance to be good to you the best way we know how.. That is to live the calling of God that we have in our lives and to serve His ppl as a family in Christ..

Today we are praying for Unity.. It is essential for every body in Christ to be united in His spirit and in His word.. Let's learn to appreciate one another, appreciate our differences and love each other.. It hurts when I see the body of Christ scarttered and worst feel hurt by each other.. That is how we took the bait of Satan and he is laughing at our unforgiveness... remember the bigger the forgiveness, the more freedom we will recieve! That is such a blessing!! Take it from someone whol have experienced it.. it's really a blessing.. It is such a freedom! XD

Let's continue our walk with God.. Gambateh everyone!!!

Thumb sucking is not so bad after all...

2011-08-05T13:40:00.003+08:00

wow.. this is what I've learnt today!

Cathy: Thumb sucking is important for self-regulation & is recommended by experts such as Dr Brazelton (well-reknown Paediatrician). Its rare for a child to continue sucking past toddlerhood, and, according to what I've read, as long as they stop by age 5, it shouldn't impact on teeth development. Although its easier for us to wean them off their soother (pacifier), its better for them to learn to regulate their own emotions themselves whenever possible.

I really didn't know that! Now i know why some ppl actually thinks that it is good for my son and daughter actual suck their thumb or finger rather then having a pacifier.... huh? go figure eh? ahaha but then again.. it is easier to get rid of a pacifier than the thumb/fingers.. :P

Ayrton Senna..

2011-08-03T14:26:00.000+08:00

Senna's grave, with the inscription "

Nothing can keep me away from the love of God"

I watch this movie about the career or life of Aryton Senna the other day with Nigel.. It's all the Video clips of Ayrton from the media and some home video from his own family (i guess so..)
So it was like seeing him personally from the lens.. it's really him and not some actor, acting out his story, but seeing the actual person's face and his expression.. the determination and drive, desire that he has really inspire me! He is a person who strife for excellence in his driving and even though he was from a wealthy family, he did not just buy himself up the ladder.. He knows that to gain TRUE respect, He has to earn it! He won that respect with hard work and talent that he has..

The best thing about him is that he loves God and he has always been critisized by others about his believe.. saying that it is dangerous to believe in such a thing.. but Senna did not back down.. he continue to give glory to God and heard him saying in the video.. "this experience made me get closer to God and that is what I really need/want.." He reads the bible when ever he had the chance to.. even when he was travelling from one place to another for a race.. he will read the Bible to sought out God's strength..

F1 is a dangerous sport and Senna was the last person to have been killed during a race in 1 May 1994.. I didn't watch that part.. Nigel n I knew that I would cry.. coz it's really sad to have to see such an excellent person go.. After his death it was discovered that he had quietly donated an extremely large portion of his personal fortune(estimated at around $400 million) to aid poor children in Brazil..

Senna is really inspirational.. I hope he is with the Lord now in peace and in great joy that he indeed ran the race well.. :')

brings back memories...

2011-07-30T14:35:00.001+08:00

Do you remembering during your childhood years.. the things you really like to do and to have? :D I remembered when I was very young, I love to play with this animal biscuits.. I love to guess what animal is it and tell it to myself (since no one was there to hear me out.. :P mom was too busy with work and house chores..)
TURTLE!!!!! i love it!! I always eat the head first.. then the legs and the tail so after that's all done.. it's like a round/oval shape appearing.. ahahahaa.. kesian the turtle..

Fish!!! hmm... yummy!

I most fav animal! Moew~~ I find that among all the animal designs, the cat is the most special ones.. coz it is shaped as though it is sitting down.. while other animals are just on the side and flat.....

My weird creation.. LOL..

2011-07-28T14:29:00.003+08:00

Can this be substitude for wan tan mee's mee?

From the looks of it below.. CAN!... but the taste..... hmmm... NO!!!!! yuks yuks yuks.. lol

Looks good hor!!.. ahahahaa but taste weird lor.. coz i use the soba mee.. It's already a bit salty so when I add in the soy sauce and other ingredient.. it makes the whole thing taste really weird.. ahahahaha.. kesian my hubby..

Coz he has to finish the whole bowl!!!! :D but he couldn't even force himself to eat it up.. akakaa.. never mind.. this is what failure means.. THAT YOU CAN TRY AGAIN NEXT TIME!!! :D and let your hubby suffer a bit more, and when you succeed!!! He will be the first one to jump for joy and celebrate! akakakaka...

Cutie pie Melissa!!!

2011-07-26T14:22:00.002+08:00

I just love this photo! ahahah I dunno how a veggie can be shaped like a heart and it settled right on my princess's face so I can take photo of it... aheheehee..

So adorable... haih... soon you will be all grown up and in no time.. we'll be going out shopping together, having tea together, chats about guys, your future, your dreams... hmm.. that day will come :) and mommy is patiently waiting to enjoy those days together with u...

Mean while.. let us just enjoy our lives now together as adult n baby... where i protect, nuture, care, love, provide, teach, discipline, guide and show you how much life have to offer.. most of all, how much Jesus had offered..

Alexander's Master Piece!

2011-07-24T14:20:00.002+08:00

LOL... apeni??? cacing? spaghetti? signature? Tikus?

Treat from my new friend-- Daphnie :D

2011-07-22T14:14:00.002+08:00

She always brings something nice from home for us to try ahehehee.. this one, eventhough is her leftovers, I gladly consume it with a greatful heart and a joyful tummy.. LOL.. Thanks Daphnie for the treat!! Yummy yummy yummy oh! I ate them all!!! and you know how i eat.. right??? :D I eat a lot a lot a lot of rice one.. and she knows it.. ahahaha.. she brough fried banana n popiah after her afternoon meeting before as well.. Hmm... nice ler.. expensive but nice.. :D I will remember to take more photos the next time ahahaha.. Food food food! Glorious food!!!

Meet my uncle and Auntie from Sabah..

2011-07-20T12:58:00.001+08:00

My Uncle John and Auntie Jane from Sabah... LOL... My own father have never fed my children before.. and here my uncle is happily doing so for Melissa.. Both of them really love children i guess.. Looking at them gazing at Melissa melts my heart.. reminds me of the time when I was little and they looked at me with such loving gaze... :')
My Uncle John is really a loving person.. kind and caring.. Even Nigel can see how wonderful my uncle is.. and my auntie Jane always keeps him honest and true.. reminding him to be on the right path and encourage him that there is a God watching~~ akekeeke... They are just so down to earth... No uncle in my family dares to scold me coz they don't have the right too, to be honest! But my Uncle John does... when he scold, i listen :P I had too! I respect him too much..

I love this two people.. They mean a lot to me.. why? because when I was very young and my father wasn't around to love and care for me.. They would take time and bring me out once a while and care for my well being.. I always looked forward to meet them during the weekends! :D I was just hmm... kidergarden to primary school of age? I think??

Sometimes after church or when they picked me up in the morning (sat) we'll go to have breakfast at Pasar Tuaran.. we have long chats and at that time.. they were still a couple.. and the things they talked about are really funny and sweet... ahahaha... u know lar.. lovers mar...

I think among all the uncles that i have.. I respect my uncle John the most.. Even Nigel thinks he is really respectable and honorable.. he is kind, stern, caring at the same time loving. He loves my Auntie Jane very much.. a lot of people especially among the Bumiputra ppl may say he is scared of his wife but to me.. it is something they will never learn and never understand how important it is to any family and relationship to have tt loving fear... It is fear, but not the type that harms one's freedom.. it is fear that someone he loves dearly will be hurt, feel sad or feel disappointed.. that kind of fear is out of love.. it is out of strength and not timidity... It takes a lot to do what he has done for his wife and his family.. Haih.. many bumiputra men will never understand how noble his action is..

I pray that God will grant him not only long life but also happy, joyful and full of loving memories throughout his life.. That his children and his childrens' children will call him blessed. May his life shine the light of Jesus in his words and action.. may he brings honor to his family and all his generation to come.. Bless him Jesus and make him one of the happiest ppl in the world.. :) Give him n Auntie Jane long life and good wealth.. bless all thier children with respect, honor and wisdom in the Lord.. in Jesus name, amen...

Fun time with CPY

2011-07-16T15:11:00.001+08:00

CPY meetings is so much fun!!! ahahaha.. we laugh and play and enjoys each others company all the time..
We aint perfect but we can rejoice in our differences and choose to accept and love each other..
We are serious with what we belive in and we don't fall for anything..

Everything that we do we do it for the Lord..

and I hope i say this for all the CPY members to all the ppl out there that...

Jesus loves you.. He really really loves you... would you love back??

Awesome Bak Zhang from MIL...

2011-07-13T14:41:00.002+08:00

There were 18 Bak Zhang made by my MIL and do you know how long it takes to finish it?

1 DAY!!! :D we had it for breakfast, lunch and dinner!!! sooooo yummy!!!!

When I was eating it.. I didn't though about taking photo of it! I just want to keep eating :D it taste soooo nice!!!

Some of the Bak Zhang I help tie one.. but hor.. very lousy work ler.. ahaha but i tried my best and keep at it.. at least i help tied up a few lor in the end.. ahehehe... This time i really ate a lot coz I've not eaten Bak Zhang for a very long time :( like years! and good and nice Bak Zhang is sooooo hard to find now.. and it's sooo expensive ler the nicer ones!!! I wanna learn how to make next time!! It's actually really hard work lor.. really tidious and time consuming..

MIL teach me please? :D I'd like to learn all the steps.. I'll never be as good but I know I will improve.. pray pray I'll get the chance and the time to really learn and really cook it...

One thing I've learn today..

2011-07-11T10:43:00.000+08:00

If you will make the decision that you don’t mind being inconvenienced or interrupted, God can use you.-Joyce Meyer

To be honest.. I HATE BEING INTERRUPTED! If you know me since I was young, especially my best best friend Josephine Chang can tell you.. that I hate, really hate being interrupted by anyone especially when I'm focusing on doing my maths! LOL.. I remembered getting soooo angry and worked up because she interrupted me while I was doing my maths homework in class.. I literally shouted at her and she got a shock of her life! but she waited for me to finish my one question and then i turned to her and apologized.. I was sorry but I really cannot stand it when someone broke my chains of thoughts!! I get very very frustrated about it!.. I was like on a roll adn suddenly you stop me.. AAArrrrrrrggggggg... I'm very "pek ceh" one lor.. So, in the ends, she understands and have never interrupted me while I was busy doing my maths homework.. (i know what you are thinking.. Home work lar.. do at home lar.. LOL) It's my personal preference lar to do it in school.. aiyo..ahahah doesn't matter :) it's ok..

but when I looked at my life.. I think I've been pretty much interrupted because of the choices that I've made and the doors that was closed/opened to me. It has been really different in how I have planed my life to be.. I think I have never regretted any of my decisions and the choices I've made... well.. some mistakes yes lar.. I've paid for my mistakes but thank God it's not a huge one... my God is a God of second chances! (or 70x70x7 chances too) I don't even know how I got here today... I just know what I need to do then and just do it.. Where ever God leads me, I will go.. Some of us think too much, some of us think too little.. I like to consider myself thinking just right :D ahahahaha.. Shalom to everyone!!!

Happy moment picture!

2011-07-09T23:43:00.001+08:00

ahaha.. We had fun didn't we! I love every min serving in this ministry.. Many ppl told me that it's hard and teens are hard.. but when you love them enough, you'll just enjoy every min of it.. especially the personal times you spent with them.. Children will bring you much joy, we just need to be patient, love them and believe in them.. something I am still learning everyday and loving it..
Thank you for a wonderful birthday this year..

"Those were the days" moment...

2011-07-07T23:32:00.002+08:00

Should I get angry with this?

AAHAHAHAAAAA!! I could only laugh when I saw it.. coz he was like showing me his master piece! talking talking pointing pointing.. telling me wht is it all about .. (as if..) LOL.. Aiyo.. I dun have the heart to tell him that this was bad behaviour coz he was only executing his creativity.. It's not really bad behaviour, it's just curiosity.. the only thing that I need to do is to teach him to clean up his mess lor.. but in this case, he didn't do much... Nigel cleaned it up for him.. ahehehe.. Look at him.. he is just so happy playing with the powder.. ah.. these will be those " Those were the days" moments... :)

ahahaha mistake mistake..

2011-07-05T11:22:00.000+08:00

I know you must be wondering why am I posting this here.. you see the date? VALID FROM 16th - 31 May 2011? This magazine was June 2011 publication :P

If you were the boss.. what would you do to the person who overlooked this matter? If you were the boss who overlooked this matter, what would you do? If you were the one tt overlooked and you are not the boss.. how? ahehehe..

The word 'Should' ahhehehe...

2011-06-21T10:21:00.004+08:00

ahahahaa.. i know i 'Should' just keep my opinions to myself.. but remind me to have wisdom everyday I get older.. Let me learn new things and grow stronger in wisdom and righteousness..

I know a lot of young ppl out there believe and know what I am saying BUT be cautious of your attitude towards the elders. Dun be rude, disrespectful or ignorant.. No matter what, everyone needs to be respected.. to do that is to be humble and teachable, even when you think you know everything, you can still learn from an older person.... listen first, don't judge the 'wrinkled filled face' by it's cover :) we may learn a thing or two...

Things I learn today..

2011-06-19T14:37:00.003+08:00

I'm glad I'm still learning at my age.. don't you? LOL.. if i'm not learning ah.. then you'll be stuck with this Old n Stale Susana for the rest of your life!! akakakaka.. so if we do not want to be old and stale like ikan masin.. Love to learn, and learn to grow, and grow in love..
So what Have I learnt?(I'll just copy it from the booklet lar.. ahahah)

"A fool is an individul who makes choices as if GOD doesn't exist and who lives as if God hasn't spoken."

"God owns life, and He merely loans our earthly existence to us. At any time He can call in His Loan.."

"He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose."

"..disciples face another folly, the folly that says "God doesn't care."

"There is an implication here that worry is one of the besetting sins of Christ-followers."

1) Worry is foolish (Luke 12:22-24)

2) Worry is futile (12:25-28)

3) Worry is faithless (12:29-31)

"Worry is the product of an inadequate understanding of our Father."

WOw!! I know right!? I got a slap on my face as I was reading through this booklet titled "Jesus' parables about Money." I know what I know, and now I need to live what I know :) I only read half of the booklet.. will share more when I finish it..
Thank you Jesus for your word and wisdom..

My fav photo in the month of May!!!

2011-06-18T14:53:00.000+08:00

Melissa in the pool.. playing and splashing away..

She is soooo cute!.. I can't stop thinking and talking about her.. ahhaaha..

Grow up healthy and strong, wise and joyful in the Lord Melissa!

Mommy, daddy, gor gor n Jesus loves you very much!

ps: You may not remember this Melissa, but your daddy n gor gor Alexander will give you a kiss goodnight everytime you go to bed oh.. and you will always reply them with a wave.. :) Mommy will sing for you before you go to sleep.. kiss you and lay you down to sleep..

This is the lovely gift my Youth gave me this year! Awesome right?

2011-06-17T14:34:00.000+08:00

This is really nice.. I keep it safe and I will bring it this sat to show to Rebecca.. She have not seen it yet wor.. Got my old Corbis photos somemore.. which I dunno how they got em..
I wonder wht they mean by Spotty..hmm.. my face got a lot of spots?? akakaka.. may be?

This Elijah some more gave me softdrinks which only my hubby n kids drink.. I got drink but less lar.. but anyway.. he owe me akakakaka.. :P the thought that counts right! Absolutely! love it! My birthday this year has been pretty special eventhough I dun get to go out and enjoy much.. but it has been very very memorable and I'm just so greatful for everyone who remembered.. I thank God for everything that He gave me! I am truly blessed! XD

Recent happenings??..

2011-06-15T13:51:00.003+08:00

So many things is going on right now.. and I have no time to up date my blog.. :P well.. where do I start ah... may be I can just summarize my activities in a few point forms.. (I will try not to be too long winded.. wakakaka..)

1) I've started working! Photolibrary brand at the moment but it will be Getty soon because Getty already bought over Photolibrary.. in the transition period.. :D good exposure ahahaha.. more pay too! (I hope and pray.) of course more responsibilities, stress and expectations.. (what else is new right?).. I know I can manage it, coz Jesus is the one who provided this job for me and I will do my very best geh..

2) I miss my children a lot lor... :( I realize that Alexander has grown up so much while I was away.. May be I take note of him more than usual :P he wants to go to sleep early( most of the time before 10pm, early lar tu), then brush his teeth in the morning, willing to eat a bit more (not a lot lar.. but a bit more lar i think..).. He can sit on the adult toilet and do his business.. ahahahaaha.... Melissa ler.. she will sleep hor.. at around 8pm!!! ahahaha right after a little bit of rice and a bottle of milk then she will go tidur d.. she smiles sometimes with her teeth showing and eyes closed. so cute!!! ahahaha like a cute fake smile! adorable lar she!!! she can climb up the sofa d.. ahehehe.. and she fell this morning but not serious lar, she cried hard and loud though.. girl mar.. :) Nigel is still trying his best get use to the schedule at home.. cooking and cleaning a bit.. I still help one, don't think I dun help.. I sometimes cook in the morning too (soup and veggies, which Nigel dun like to eat akakkaa..)

3) Youth has been very very active and independent, which means they organize outing on their own and meet up regularly on other time besides Saturday afternoons. Thus, more personal time spend with each other lor.. "Awesome" is the new in-word among them but dunno change d or not.. then 7 of them are in Timothy leadership class conducted by Pastor Jeffrey.. (Thank you so much for taking the time to conduct the class..) The youth leaders are also more involve in planning for the schedule of each Q starting from 2011.. I'm so proud of them as they are taking more responsibility and ownership in this ministry, some, even without being the leader but leading through good example and influence.. On the sat before my birthday, they even surprised me with a, to me, ceremony of honor-- some of them fed me cake.. while some of them actually washed my feet and shared encouraging words.. They even made me a very very nice (scarp book :D super nice and special to me.. Thank you guys (and gals)!! I loved it!!!

4) Called home.. how i miss my home town.. called my step dad and my relatives recently.. seeing their status on FB (the younger generations) is really nice.. How they are, what have they been up to etc.. ahehehe.. I hope and pray that I can go home end of the year.. I wish to bring my whole family back, but if really not possible then I can only bring one of my little darlings lor..

I think that is all gua.. God has been good.. even until now God has been so so good to me.. I join Photolibrary also because God ans my prayer in a way.. open a door to me when other door was closed :) but i know thar door will open again later in my life.. just not now :D What ever it is, like I always say.. Give our best (in doing what is right and according to His will) and let God do the rest. Honor God and God will honor you.. I may not have a perfect life nor am I perfect myself.. but I have a perfect God, with that I can rest assured that I am in good hands always...

(ppsstt... my perfect God loves you!!! would you love back??)

why oh??? :(

2011-05-30T11:54:00.000+08:00

Why is my blog's spacing like this one?? soooo ugly :(

God Speaks to Correct Us by Joyce Meyer - posted April 28, 2011

2011-05-29T00:15:00.001+08:00

God Speaks to Correct Us

by Joyce Meyer - posted April 28, 2011

The Lord corrects and disciplines everyone whom He loves.
—Hebrews 12:6

We all need to be corrected at times and I believe God's desire is to speak to us and do the correcting Himself before using other people or situations to correct us. Correction is one of the most difficult things to receive, especially when it comes through others, so God prefers to first help us deal with matters privately. But, if we do not know how to let Him correct us privately or will not receive it, He may correct us in more public ways.

One time we were ministering in a foreign country. I was in a restaurant trying to convey to the waiter what I wanted to eat, but he did not speak much English and I did not speak his language at all. Frustration soon became evident in my attitude and tone of voice. I was behaving poorly in front of people who knew I was in that country to minister and, of course, my example to them was important.

I knew I had behaved badly, but God wanted me to really know, so when Dave and I returned to our hotel room, Dave mentioned the incident and said I had not set a good example for others.

Although I knew he was right, and I knew God was using him to make sure I fully realized how important my behavior is, my inclination was to point out that Dave had acted similarly before. Had I done that, I would not have genuinely received the word of correction and then God would have had to correct me some other way—perhaps in a way that would have been more embarrassing or painful.

Begin to pray and ask God to help you receive correction from Him and to help you recognize when He is sending correction through others, knowing it is always for your good.

God's word for you today: Don't resist God's correction.

Cactus..

2011-05-21T16:08:00.005+08:00

My brother in law took this photo many years ago.. I use to plant many cactus becasue my mom is good at planting them and bring them them to bloom beautiful flowers for her.. I mean, her cactus bloom so often that it would seems like they show gratitude by blooming.. ahahaha..

I dun think I am a good gardener compared to my mother.. but I do enjoy it :D but I'm better working with crafts then with flowers I supppose.. I dun speak plants and I think my mother did.. ahahaha..

It does looked lovely.. the little pots and cute cactus.. when they bloom for me, I feel like I'm on top of the world.. :D it's special to me..

So do you like gardening? huh?

Building blocks..

2011-05-19T15:43:00.001+08:00

Took this photo from my church.. where all the little kid would take toys, balls and other stuffs to throw and play in a small room! Sometimes my little ones will take one of these blocks and puts it in their mouth.. haih.. it's hard to keep them out of trouble.. but I do try :P

When ever I see blocks.. I always remember them being the building blocks.. building blocks of their imagination, foundation and education.. They play with these, they learn to play with these in the beginning stage of their lives and later on, they may even use the block's alphabets to spell!! ahahah..

One of my fren ask me Why have I not taught my children the basic knowledge of Christianity.. alamak~~~ My son can't even talk properly and you want me to teach him the what??? ahehehee.. dun stress them lar.. (dun stress me also.. ahahaha) I know in this challenging and demanding world tt we live in, we ever so often tried to compete, compare and do our best for our kids.. but really? I rather they learn how to burst their teeth first before learning to appreciate God's goodness becasue at the age they are in, they cannot fully understand much..

..
You may think I am worldly.. LOL.. I just think that we do what we can and don't compare ourselves with other ppl.. If we are better then average ppl then we can praise the Lord, if we are below then we need to also praise the Lord.. just do our best according to the strength and faith God has poured out into our spirit..

Fun time with Alexander... I can't stop laughing about it,,

2011-05-10T00:48:00.000+08:00

I really like this video.. it really shows how much fun Alexander and I had that day.. we were all tired out after that bu it was sooo fun and funny.. When ever Alexander look at this video.. he himself will start to laugh and strat jumping as if he was in that video again.. I think he remembered the great feeling when we were there during this video was taken..
It was memorable and sweet.. I think we will keep going there until our kids is too big for this.. LOL..

A special gift for my Melissa..

2011-05-01T14:14:00.000+08:00

On my darling Melissa's birthday... i got a special gift for her... Did I mentioned this on my blog before? LOL

I dun remember :P never mind lar.. I think I remembered telling it to 1 or 2 good friends though.. :)

Well, I was looking around for a nice gift for her 1 year old birthday.. may be you may be thinking that I'm being unfair coz I didn't really get anything for Alexander for his 1 year old birthday.. But he got more gifts from family and friends than his sister! That's why for Melissa I went to look for something special.. Something she can keep for a very long time, something valuable, something that represent her, something nice for rememberance..

I got her a Poh Kong gift! I saved up some money and got her a small gift.. Not too expensive, just a nice pendant..

Eventhough we may be a bit tight and that I still held a birthday party for her at KFC (same as her brother, to be fair).. I want to give the best that I could for her.. of course for Alexander n hubby too.. sometimes I will take out thier gifts (gifts from me, daddy or other family n frens) and think about those ppl tht had given it so generously.. and most of all, how much Alexander and Melissa will love and cherish them as they grow older.. (I hope they will!! coz they have so much more then their mommy or daddy had!) and every little gift counts.. the love and the thought from family and friends is precious and we should always remember the goodness and kindness they have shown..

I suppose I'm a sentimental kinda person.. but i dun keep things tt is too old.. to be honest.. I dun even have any toys that I keep from my childhood times.. I think it is because... it's all broken.. Thus, I dun keep broken toys.. (No point ler..) some nice a valuable things, can keep nicely.. Broken ones.. throw away lor.. Just like memories i guess.. keep the good ones but throw away the bad ones.. To make rooms for better and more wonderful memories!! ;)

Melissa, if one day you were to read this post.. promise me that you will cherish the small little pendant ya? Eventhough it is small and not worth much.. I save up hard for it, for you to keep and to remember that I though about you everyday since you were born.. (a bit hard not too since I've become a stay at home mom after I gave birth to you.. ahahahaa.. but tt's not the point!!! :P the point is.. I love you.. very much.. even when you drive me nuts sometimes..) I love you my dear Melissa..

Chill...

2011-04-27T14:11:00.000+08:00

Aaahhhhhhh~~~~~~

Doen't it looks refreshing!!! Hmmm...
As if I can state the sweetness of the Cendol, coconut milk and gula melaka!

Awesome!!! Thank God for tastebuds!!

..but hor.. i will normally get tummy ache after a bowl of ice cendol :P

well.. a small price to pay when it's a hot hot HOT day!

Ahahahaah~~~~ I want!!!!!!

Woof nooze...

2011-04-25T13:58:00.000+08:00

So cute right??

ahahahaah.. I took in 2005.. Long time ago eh?

Went for a dog show in Mine's wonderland near Sri Kembangan with Nigel, Joseph and Khai Sing..

Those were the days lar.. ahahaha. it was innocent years and relaxing times..

Where Nigel and I could just go for some dog shows, dog marathon, exhibitions etc..

Now cannot lor... may be when our children are older.. then we can go again :) and this time bring our kids ahahaha..

Now that would be fun!!!

Can't wait! Can't wait!!! Let's go and 'kai-kai'!! Jom 'Kai-Kai"! ahahaha

I miss you guys!!!

2011-04-22T14:07:00.000+08:00

I dunno why the photo so blurr... but..

I MISS YOU GUYS!!! (Gals mostly...)

Hmm... peace n quiet...

2011-04-13T13:42:00.004+08:00

I took a lot of photos here at Butterfly Park years ago with my friend Jane..

We just went there for a day trip and take photos.. LOL.. it was really a lot of fun..

I love most of the photos taken there.. and once a while I will take out some of it and

just remember the lovely flowers there..

Thanks to my Sister-in-law, her hubby n his family who bought hubby the camera..

If not, we wouldn't be able to enjoy the beautiful photos that I've taken all the years..

we are truly grateful and appreciate the wonderful gift..

We cherished all the photos we have and going to take :)

It's raining now.. It's gloomy outside.. and we can hear the thunder..

but we are warm and cozy inside our home.. with pillows n blankets around..
Alexander is asleep, Melissa is about, Daisy n Minnie taking a nap..

I'm here savoring the moment of serenity and peace..

I love the peace and quiet..

..but most of the time..

..Peace will do when there is no quiet..

~Thank You Lord~

I miss the beach...

2011-04-11T10:57:00.009+08:00

I miss the beach!!! I miss visiting the beauty God has made for us to enjoy and cherish!!

I want to go for a holiday!! I want to get out of my daily routine life..

Not that I'm complaining, I love it most of the time..

It's just that I miss the calm and relaxing moment

the beauty of the world God had made for us to enjoy..

I just miss sitting under the shade, in the breeze on a beautiful evening..

with some tea and cakes in case I get hungry..

When I was a little girl, I always do tt when ever I get the time to, since I stayed next to a river and there are trees every where.. I remembered falling asleep on a fruit tree one afternoon.. (yes, ON the tree..) with the soft wind blowing gently and the sun shine brightly.. It was just beautiful and wonderful..

May be I'll get to enjoy that one day (soon) but even if I have to wait a long while..

I will.. coz it is worth it.. To be able to enjoy God's creativity and His beauty, is awesome..

I want to share the experience of loving and appreciating God's creation with my children..

and teach them to take care of the environment..

Because God made it for everyone to enjoy and remember His goodness and love..

Thank you Lord for your love for me.. it is so wonderful..

2011-04-09T15:27:00.002+08:00

My Bacon n Cheese Bread Stick :D

Tadah!~~~

Forgiven...

2011-04-07T14:42:00.006+08:00

On the day I realized I couldn't blog (post my write ups), I've actually written something about what someone said on FB that was very disturbing to not just me but to many others.. so you would understand how frustrating it is when after I have written a whole lot of stuffs, i couldn't post my write up!!! ahahaha but straight away i knew God didn't want me to post it.. It would not be right for me.. Not that I'm not right in my comments and facts.. just not right attitude and intention..

So, I choose to remain silent.. some of you know what I'm talking about while most will not. :D which is fine.. if you know about it then I can tell you that it is good to be silent at time and let God do what He has in mind to do.. for those who dun know what I'm talking about.. It's ok... no need to know since it does not concern you.. really.. I sometimes wish that i know less, but then again.. that can be a foolish request.. coz I rather know then be in the dark... right? :)

Anyway, If he is reading my blog.. I hope you know that I truly, sincerely and in all humility forgive you.. I dun want you to feel abandoned, left for dead nor unloved.. I'm sad to see the physical, emotional and spiritual condition that you are in now.. but I believe God will raise you up again one day and the promises He had for your life will be fulfilled.. I still believe that God will do whatever it takes to prepare you for what is coming.. refine you through fire and i hope this time you are really ready to fulfill His calling..
.
1 Corinthians 3:10-15
¹⁰ By the grace God has given me, (Paul) I laid a foundation as a wise builder, and someone else is building on it. But each one should build with care. ¹¹ For no one can lay any foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ. ¹² If anyone builds on this foundation using gold, silver, costly stones, wood, hay or straw, ¹³ their work will be shown for what it is, because the Day will bring it to light. It will be revealed with fire, and the fire will test the quality of each person’s work. ¹⁴ If what has been built survives, the builder will receive a reward. ¹⁵ If it is burned up, the builder will suffer loss but yet will be saved—even though only as one escaping through the flames.

You will survive this, I'm sure and rise up stronger I hope.. but in your heart, allow forgiveness for those you think have offended you. Just to let you know.. Many have been praying for you to come back to God and that love will again settle in your family.. You just dun have any idea how many have been praying for you and your family.. even on the first day they knew what you have done.. they pray a prayer of blessing for you and your family... and to see you judge them (which include me..) is hard and I can be offended too, but I choose to forgive you no matter what.. to say that I love you as my brother even though it is foolish and for some even stupid.. I'll do it for God's sake.. because He is my Lord of all.. I can forgive because He forgave.. and not more understand the price of forgiveness more then Jesus himself..

I hope you will understand the price of forgiveness too and not expect everyone, every human beings and every Christian are able to give it so freely... because forgiveness is really hard, it's really precious and really pure.. I hope you understand that and forgive..

Yea!!!

2011-04-07T14:35:00.001+08:00

Finally!!! i can write my blog again!!!!

Oh blog... how i miss expressing myself to you.. LOL.. silly me :P

Now that I can blog again.. what will i blog about?? huh?? eh.. later lar i up date :D okie? ahahaha..

A simple meal...

2011-04-01T00:56:00.001+08:00

All in one meal for lunch..

Melissa's little grip..

2011-03-29T13:30:00.000+08:00

She got her grip on me... and i love every moment of it..

I know there will be a time where she will not need to hold on to my hand anymore..

but I hope she knows.. that I need to hold on to hers...

I love you sweet heart..

Don't forget daddy and mommy too.. :)

2011-03-27T00:50:00.000+08:00

2008

2010

2011

How big they have grown...

2011-03-26T00:33:00.001+08:00

Melissa, 4th May, 2010

Melissa, 8th March, 2011

Alexander, Nov 5th, 2008

Alexander, 14th March, 2011

..Time flies when you are with those you love..

yummy...

2011-03-23T00:27:00.000+08:00

What is your fav fruit?? One of mine is mango!!!

This one, eventhough it looks yellowing and not orangy.. It very very sweet oh!

My Melissa loves em'...

Alexander not so much..

Thanks to my FIL, he got it for us.. :D

The mess I face everyday...

2011-03-21T13:56:00.000+08:00

I think this is one thing i will not miss when all my children hv all grown up..

CLEANING UP THEIR MESS!

As if a small tornado had just pass by...

twister called Alexander...lol

Where was Melissa? a smaller twister just helping out..

Breakfast at home..

2011-03-18T13:20:00.000+08:00

The first dish i was able to cook was a yummy one! ahahaha.. but I use the electric multi cooker to cook a yummy breakfast! Thanks to Carmen Chang's family gift on our wedding day.. :D It is such a blessing!!! I'm so blessed in deed.. I also wanna thank my family n close frens + leaders, youth and parents who donated some money for us to repair our kitchen.. I thank the Lord for all of you.. for your kindness and understanding.. :)

Wanna see how my breakfast looks like?? :D

Tadah!!!~~~~~ The one on top is mine.. obviously.. the one with some veggie is always mine :P

the one on the bottom is hubby's one lor.. Alex n Melissa ate from my plate.. :)

ahehehe... Alexander is waiting to take the becon.. We dun always have this for breakfast lar.. only once a while.. a small treat for all the hard work hubby had dun.. :) cook something nice lor..

A simple breakfast can make me happy :) I thank Jesus!!!

Alexander wanna cook his bolster in the oven.. LOL..

2011-03-17T13:31:00.003+08:00

Dun worry.. it's not pluged in.. ahahaha..

We were cleaning and working on our kitchen so we put the oven on the floor near the kitchen door..

Manatau.. My son so creative.. put in his smelly bolster aka Ah Boh into the oven and actually turning the timer on!

Once a while you'll hear a 'ting' sound from the oven to inform us that the time is up... Wht is ready? the Ah Boh lar. LOL

Children sometimes makes you laugh and sometimes they make you cry, the worst.. they make you really angry.. But overall.. it's worth it.. We learn as parents to perservere, learn to play, learn to rest, learn to appreciate, learn to forgive, learn to give, learn to kiss n hug, learn to love.. ;')

Being a parent is never easy... not because our children are hard to raise..

but because sacrifice is hard.. obedience is hard.. LOVE is hard..

In the end.. everything will be worth it.. may not be able to measure it based on how our children turned out to be..

but rather... the time that we have spent with each other (parent n children).. makes everything worth it..

I want to cherish every moment of my children's life right now.. coz one day.. they will be able to walk on their own and when the time comes.. They are not holding my hand anymore... they are holding Jesus's..

When Melissa start standing...

2011-03-15T13:32:00.000+08:00

big girl d lor.. can stand stand d.. ahahaha..

Now she could actually let go of her hands and stand with her own two little feet.. :D

And she will feel very proud of herself and smile!!! ahahaha..

she is my angel...

2011-03-06T13:44:00.000+08:00

From Kenneth's camera.. taken by Godfather Logan.. :D

May you grow beautifully inside and out... That God's love and grace glow and shine throughout your life time..

Melissa's little feet.

2011-03-05T13:25:00.000+08:00

My Melissa's little feet.. cute, chubby and silky smooth...

my feet.. is old and frail.. lots of cracks and fine lines.. but seeing it with Melissa's little feet..

I can only smile...

Coz her little feet made the walk worth while..

18th Wedding Anniversary..

2011-03-03T13:37:00.000+08:00

I didn't know why I took this picture that day... :) but i'm glad I did.. so I could wish them a happy anniversary on 27th Feb 2011!!! ya.. same birthday with Hubby..

Glad that from here it did not show their face directly.. coz they may not like this to be so public..

Anyway... I hope their children will be great children of God, faithful in all they do for the Lord and that they will honor not only thier family but also their Heavenly Father..

May God continue to shawer His love and grace upon your live...

Starbucks Tea.. ahehehee..

2011-03-02T12:34:00.000+08:00

Nice hor the cover of the tin.. i like it :)

I requested this from Nigel as my christmas present LOL... so cheap hor.. only RM 28 for my Christmas gift.. I got him a very nice perfume oh.. ahahaha.. but u know him lar.. his love language is not gifts.. Many ppl dun have that love language.. it's normally the least important among all the love language..
.

I'm starting to like the colour green and white.. :D it really looks very refreshing and calm.. what I am feeling now I suppose.. ahehehe.. refeshed and calm.. ahhh~~~~ so blissful... I mean... peaceful.. ;D

Don't use foul or abusive language...

2011-02-28T11:59:00.001+08:00

Don't use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.~ Eph 4:29

My Loving & Kind Step Father..

2011-02-27T08:29:00.000+08:00

Ahahaha.. dun they look similar with tt outfit? LOL.. this is the only photo we got to take while my step dad visited us during the recent CNY.. He is a very loving man, responsible and truly a gentlemen with a heart of gold..

I call him 'Unlce' coz to me i have only one father and that is my biological dad.. and I always refer him as my step dad but when his relatives or friends called, he will refer me as his daughter.. feeling guilty? yes.. of course.. I call him step dad and he calls me daughter.. it's doesn't seem fair hor.. but i have my conviction..
.

I remembered we went to China with him and my mom few yers back.. the other passager (same tour with us) complimented that I have a very good relationship with my 'dad'.. stund me for a while there when the lady told me tt.. LOL.. but it is true.. I'm close to him and I do treat him like a father to me.. but throughout the tour to China.. i call him.. yes.. u guessed it.. "uncle"... I guess the rest of the passangers were not paying attn.. But my mom did.. she called him 'uncle' too during the tour... making it sound like it is a personal joke among the 3 of us..

I do love uncle like a father.. no doubt about tt... :)

never told him though.. a bit weird.. LOL..

2011 Reunion dinner...

2011-02-26T08:17:00.004+08:00

This is shared especially for Violet :D This is how we celebrated our reunion dinner lor.. with all the fancy dancing, magic shows and games... I enjoyed it because all the dancing entertained Alex and he was very well behaved.. ahahah..

May be next year, we'll celebrate CNY in a different manner.. ah.. by then perhaps Melissa can walk d? ahahah..

Freedom.. yes? no??

2011-02-25T11:11:00.005+08:00

Some of us will loose our focus (on God) when we come out to work.. some.. during our rebellious period.. others.. when we tasted the first freedom.. or when we've gone through some trials/temptations/mistakes...

When ever our lives goes through some major changes, we tent to sway.. Our faith shaken, our focus blurred, our actions diverts.. What is going on?? Why things cannot stay the same? Like the good old days? either that.. or.. Why haven't I been living like this last time? This is wht it means to be free!!

So, wht is freedom?

Does freedom means we can do anything we want to? When ever we feel like it? sometimes without facing the consequences? Now that would be great.. Freedom to do wht ever and not care how others feel about it? (does that sound right to you?)

Let's take a look at the meaning of freedom from a SLAVE.. Now, wht does freedom mean? To have the choice to do what he/she doesn't want to do..

I think it is wrong to think tt we can have freedom in doing everything we want to do.. to a certain extent yes it seems that way.. but most of all.. freedom gives us the ability to do what we DO NOT want to do.. Let's say we have the freedom to lie.. yes.. we have made a choice to lie.. but once we have done tt, there is no turning back.. to sustain tt lie, we are forced to continue lying even though we want to stop it.. which means.. we have just lost our freedom to tell the truth.. to be genuine, to be real.. unless we confessed tt we have lied and repent (change our minds and our ways..).

When we are captives of these 'so-call' freedom (like pornography, sexual immorality, homosexuality etc..) we are slave to sin.. we are addicted to these things that it is hard for us to stop..

So do you think you still have freedom?

If you realized that you don't, don't be discouraged.. You will overcome it through the faith and power God will provide you..

Just busy..

2011-02-23T23:10:00.004+08:00

Busy busy busy... why so busy one?? Have to do so many things ler.. some more I plan to clean up Melissa's room so she can have more space.. meaning that I need to move my stuffs from her room lar.. ahahahaha.. I need to get some nice boxes from Ikea ler.. So i can nicely arranged it in my own bed room.. My store room is over flowing with stuffs.. I'm thinking of getting rid of a lot of stuffs..

brb....

.. ok back...

The usual interruptions once a while kept me from finishing my writing in one peace.. That's how it is when we have two little ones i suppose.. sometimes it is a pain.. coz I really, and I mean REALLY, hate to be interrupted when I'm focusing on doing something.. Since young I really hate that.. I even remembered scolding my best fren for interrupting me when I was solving a maths problem.. she got a shock of course but understood my temper and waited for me to finish my 'work'.. I apologized of course but also reminded her that I HATE being interrupted like tt.. especially when I'm so focus on something and someone just broke my chain of thoughts!!! I really cannot tahan one lor..

That is why it is pretty hard to hold my temper when my son keeps bugging me while I as cleaning, cooking or doing anything else for that matter! AAAHHH!!!! it drives me nuts!!! Sabar~~~ Sabar~~~ haih.. i do know i need to have more patience and I am learning... am I getting better? yes gua...

again.. brb...

ok.. back..

... brb again..

ok.. back... and hope this time i get to finish wht I wanted to say...

wait....

... what did i wanted to say?? see lar.. haih.. ok.. i gtg.. night... (Alex... Stop pulling my hand.. gggrrrrrr..)

Ending the 15 days of Chinese New Year Celebration...

2011-02-17T00:41:00.001+08:00

Even though today is the day we end this festivity..

I believe it is also a beginning of a brand "something" for many of us..

Brand new HOPE, Brand new LIFE, Brand new journey etc..

Soooo much to look foreard to! Especially when you know that Blessing is on it's way to our lives!!

Nothing is more exciting then knowing God's blessing is here for us this 2011!

but some blessings comes with a price..

Some price has been paid in full.. like our sin.. paid through Jesus's blood on the cross..

some, we have to work hard first... like raising our children..

we know in due time.. they will be a great blessing to to many :)

Some are inherited.. From generations to generations..

From God the Father to His Son and through the Holy Spirit and now in all of us...

May God truly bless all of you this year and that you know how much we are bless everyday...

《我今年,二十七八岁》

2011-02-16T15:26:00.000+08:00

So kesian.. I think a lot of young ppl (dun say 27/28 years old..) now a days are like this.. keep looking back.. haih.. STOP looking back lor.. if you keep looking back while everything is moving forward.. you'll keep tumbling and falling down.. and when you do fall and hurt again.. you ask yourself why.. WHY?? coz you are not looking forward lor.. You are not looking where you are going lor.. apelar.. Learn from the mistake and move on lor.. Leave the past behind..
.
IT IS NOT EASY, I know. But all of us must move on if we want to be really complete in the Lord.. Thank God if you have Jesus in your life, coz He will help you go through the tough times, the lonely times and that you are not alone.. You are Never Alone.. but if you do not know this Jesus we are talking about, then I really encourage you to get to know Him more.. He is the person that whom we trust and will never leave us nor forsake us.. He is our true friend and companion.. Our counselor and redeemer.. Our Saviour.. The only way to true Joy and Peace...
.
I don't want my young people to feel lonely when they are at tt age.. (Don't want them to feel like this NOW!) They should be living a purposeful life and not sighing at their past.. They should look forward to their future!!! Coz it is soooo bright, we need to wear sun glasses to invision it... ahehehe..
.
SO be encouraged my young ones.. Jesus said: "I am with you always." Matthew 28:20

An angel in white dress... ;)

2011-02-15T00:53:00.002+08:00

CPY Valentine's Party: Friendship Valentine

2011-02-13T09:17:00.004+08:00

ALL OF US HAD FUN!!!

It was funny.. full of laughter.. even though the games was simple but it was really entertaining.. LOL

Didn't took much photos.. You know how it is having 2 little ones.. especially when one of the little ones can't even walk yet.. Both of them got really cranky when it got really late past their bed time..

I brought chicken wing over!!!! Looks nice? It's nicer if it was eaten right after..

Opppss.. let you seee a burned part of the chicken d.. LOL..

This time the party is better organized coz it was not over crowded.. and we really got to know ppl and their names.. they cannot just blend in.. they must be introduced.. ahahaha.. we could improve on the timing though.. but we have also improved on tt area, coz we finished everything before 12midnight which includes cleaning the plc up.. (Thanks to Nigel's strick instructions.) but we are so sorry to have some youth 'kena marah' coz they were late.. :( sorry guys..

Everyone enjoyed themselves.. that was important..

We thank you Lord for the wonderful time, great company and enjoyable moments.. It would not be possible if it was not for Your protection and covering.. teach us oh Lord to be a better friends to others and at the same time be wise in everything that we do.. All glory to you... Amen..

Wong kok's food... well.. some of it anyway...

2011-02-11T13:05:00.005+08:00

Looks more or less like the photos they show on their menu :)

The taste? ok ok lor...

Just tt their restaurant is really not bb friendly lor.. sooooo the sempit.. aiyo...

I'm forgiven.. becuase you were forsaken...

2011-02-11T00:43:00.005+08:00

Would we be willing.....

...to be forsaken so someone else can have forgiveness?

...to put aside ourselve, our feelings, our pride, our face.. so someone can have it easier?

...to make the first move to make it better for someone else?

...to sacrifice something so others may gain?

..to exchange the pain so someone may have healing?

...to stand in the gap so that someone whould gain peace n salvation?

...to take insults and comdemnation so someone would have joy?

...to be vulnerable so someone knows that they are loved?

Would you be willing...?

Jesus did it for me.. I gladly do it for you in a heart beat.. coz I love you...
(but not die on the cross lar.. I'm not tt Holy nor worthy.. LOL)

Why I also kena one? why???

2011-02-10T23:51:00.003+08:00

The title says it all..

Went for a good swim today :D

2011-02-10T11:54:00.002+08:00

Went for a swim with my little Alexander.. ahahaha.. he loves it soooo much!! I just enjoy splashing and jumping in the water with him ahehehe.. after 15min.. Daddy and mei mei joined us.. not for a swim but they were having walks and enjoying the sceneries.. ah... wht an enjoying moment for us... even though it is a working day today for Daddy... we are still able to enjoy the small things like going for a swim... (actually, it's quite a hassle getting Alex ready and bathing him afterwards.. BUT!!! it's all worth it :D ahahaha)

I'm still thinking how am I going to bring 2 little ones to go swim if I'm alone and Daddy is not free... hmmm... Can lar.. coz Alexander is big boy d.. he can walk the stairs on his own and take directions well :) better lar.. LOL...

That's all for today!!! I hope all my frens and young ppl out there are having a wonderful time too with their love ones.. Especially when we walk in God's path.. no matter how tough, how scary the choices that you make.. IT's all worth it when it is for God's glory and His kingdom.. Many will testify to that!!!!

Isn't she a princess??

2011-02-10T00:32:00.000+08:00

She just melts my heart!!! I can't help but want to kiss her and squeeze her and make her laugh and smile!

She has her temper and her stubborn demands but she is really sweet.. I hope she will grow up into a beautiful young lady.. Wise beyond her age.. long life.. healthy and active in many ways.. Loving, caring and gentle.. Humble, meek and kind hearted.. I pray that she will always have God's Joy, Peace and Wisdom.. most of all.. Love..

Always look upon God my Sweet Melissa.. He is looking out for you and He will guide you as His word is the lamp upon your feet.. light on your path... Stay close to God and please Him always..

Mommy loves you....

Great Job Elaine!!!

2011-02-09T00:20:00.002+08:00

Our sister in Christ, Elaine Kong had her very first Sunday Service Worship lead last week!!! aahahaha.. I think she did a wonderful job lor.. I know she will say it's not perfect but it will have to do.. ahehehe.. coz she has a very high standard!! and I think that is a good quality.. striving for excellence is good.. Especially when we are doing it for God.. :)

I'm sure there will be critics.. but Don't be discouraged Elaine!!! Keep up the good work!!! We are here but to please God.. and He is proud of you for doing this even though you know all of us need more work.. We are proud of you too!! Yea!

This is our Carol!!!! very talented and hard working pianist!! I always admire ppl who put in hard work then those who doesn't even though they have talent.. some who have talent and still work hard, I lagi respect...It's really good to have talents.. but when it comes to hard work.. it takes true character, consistency and discipline.. of course work on the right things lar har.. not do bad ah.. LOL.. (working hard to do bad is bad ok..) Keep up the good work oh!!

I'm so bless...

2011-02-08T00:02:00.003+08:00

I'm so bless and grateful for so many wonderful things in my life..

Pass life was painful with some glipse of joy and love.. my present has it's heart aches but filled with hope and blessings... my future...

...brighter than the moon in the sky and sweeter then honey in the comb..

If I can choose how I would die.. I want to go when I'm at a very, very old age.. not becuase of sickness or from an accident...I want to see All my grandchildren (if God's will) I would want to die during a celebration.. when we are all having a really good time.. When my family and friends are gathered with children running around playing taggs.. Family and Friends chating and sharing joyous memories.. balloons and bright decorations every where!! Laughters can be heard all over the place!! Everyone is just having such a wonderful time!!!

And there I am.. sitting in a rocking chair.. looking at all this things happening right before my eyes.. and I thank God from the bottom of my heart... What ever I had to go through in life (those events that I may not even know yet..). it's all worth it.. Coz now i see hope in my children's eyes for a Godly future... I see Hope,Joy and Love in my grandchildren's future.. and I see loving memories from my old friends..

.. then.. I am ready to go..

Dun worry.. I'm not going off now.. LOL... sot meh? ahahah not so soon lor.. i still have a long way to go.. more things to learn and more love to share..

In remembrance of my mother.. we miss u~~

2011-02-05T12:47:00.001+08:00

Has been keeping your number for two years even though I dun get to call it anymore..

I hope you are looking out for us from heaven with Jesus and that you are finally at peace from the pain of this world..

We are doing great over here.. thanks to your stern discipline and loving hands..

We are a better person, we hope we do u proud, always..

I may not be able to visit your grave every now a then, but I hope when you were still living..

You kown that I've loved you dearly..

Even though you are not here anymore, I think of you often and thank God for having you as my mother..

You are awesome!!! Super great :) i miss you and love you always..

TETAP CINTA YESUS SELAMANYA

2011-02-01T01:00:00.002+08:00

KU MAHU CINTA YESUS SELAMANYA

MESKIPUN BADAI SILIH BERGANTI DALAM HIDUPKU

KU TETAP CINTA YESUS SELAMANYA

YA ABBA, BAPA, INI AKU ANAK-MU

LAYAKKANLAH SELURUH HIDUPKU

YA ABBA, BAPA, INI AKU ANAK-MU

PAKAILAH SESUAI DENGAN RENCANA-MU

Saya ampunkan kamu, sebab saya cintai Yesus.. Hanya Yesus akan layakan kamu wahai kawanku.. Kalau Yesus layakan kamu, saya tidak akan bantah.. Saya harus berdoa, supaya kamu akan kembali kepangkuan Yesus dengan pengakuan dan pembetulan daripada perbuatan kamu itu.. Semoga berjaya...

Tetapi.. jangan dekati saya sekarang.. kerana saya masih sedih...

Doing the right thing..

2011-01-26T12:53:00.001+08:00

It's hard to do wht is right, isn't it?

We will always want to just give into wht we are, wht we are feeling, wht we want to do.. Is it so wrong to be human? to make mistakes? some of us don't even think it is a mistake.. so wht's the big deal? Wht you perceive is right and correct may not be for so many other ppl? so why should I care? Why should I be any different and struggle to be good all the time? No one understands wht I had to go through and no one will ever understand how i feel, coz i dun even know myself!!

Sounds like someone you know? Actually above feelings is felt by many young teens these days.. they are so confused and lost, they just wanna give up.. give up on family, friends and for some.. God.. They love God but they just can't help themselves to do the things they feel they wanna do.. things that would hurt them, things that will not give them peace, things that they will regret doing etc.. They just want to be angry and no one would care.. no one could understand.. no one could help or change them.. they just give up..

Some people tells me that it is only a phase of their lives.. to go through all these EMO and hormonal changes is normal.. just keep a close eye on it, let them express it (correctly), give them the advise they need and they will grow out of it later in time.. I still think they need one more thing...

They need to know the unconditional love of God.. but how do we teach someone about that love when they continue to live in sin, depression, without faith etc? taking God's love and grace for granted? There is no easy way.. but JUST LOVE..

We should always love them, no matter in wht stage they are in now.. we need to pray for them again and again so that they will not loose Hope, which is from Christ Jesus, who can take them and change them inside out..

Thank you Jesus for you unconditional love..

Where to go after youth??

2011-01-17T12:30:00.003+08:00

Actually, many ppl struggle with this question everytime they are about to graduate and perhaps (force to) move on to a new level of spiritual maturity..

I remember when I was at tt age, I was freaking out when I graduate from form 5!! I feel so preassured coz I dun think I'm ready for the Cell Group type of meeting coz 1) I dun really know anyone there, dun feel like I have a fren 2) I was scared I will not be up to par with the rest of the ppl in tt group-- bible study in mandarin wor.. I cannot understand ler.. stress one u know.. pray some more in mandarin? pengsa lor... :( then 3) I dun even know what is cell group and most of all I have to click/share with 'uncles and aunties'? I'm soooo scared.. :'(

Btw, I'm very good with uncle and aunties ok.. it's just that, I dun think they are interested in me enough to want to 'include' me in theri cg? you know wht i mean? further more, as far as i know, cg means closer and more personal contact with the person in that group but if I dun feel accepted or belonged.. How am I to move to that stage? It is very uncomfortable to feel like an alien ya know.. It's hard to move on and make that first step and the 'adults' is not making it any easier.. :'( coz they have all this expectations on us young ppl (hey! I was young then.) so stressed so pressured.. you may say coz i never talk to them and know them much.. ello? it can be the other way around? why dun they come to me and talk to me? I'm more scared of them then they are of me right? RIGHT??

But I can't join the youth wor.. coz it states only certain age group of ppl can join (not our CPY ah.. youth who are still studying can still join.. unless u start work d.. then we will need to find you a cg and you need not move on until you feel comfortable to do so.. here, i'm talking about my previous church in my youth time..).. so where am I to go? not here nor there.. kesian kan??

I think it is very important for us adults to build a brigde with the young generation. When they are in the youth ministry, pls dun just let them be. Get to know them, appreciate them, pray for them, get every chance to talk to them, spend even quality time with them and bless them.. It is like building a relationship for them and prepared them for adulthood, for maturity, for moving on to the next level.. If we just cross our hands and don't put in any effort.. we will loose them to the world because they do not feel accepted, do not feel belonged, do not feel secure with us..

Of course they can have their own CG.. but being in a Cell Group is more than just doing bible study.. there is accountability and responsibility that goes with joining a CG.. the ppl in that group is like your direct family that you spent a lot of time with in prayer, in sharing and in growing.. If the group conssist of all after form 5 students and in between the time a few of them hv to further their studies.. the question is, will that CG still go on with only say.. two ppl? if I was one of the two.. I would.. I dun care how many ppl in my group coz i know God will bless if I keep to it!!! I'm tt stubborn!! but if the two person left is very discounraged and very demovoted d.. wht should they do? Go to the adult's group? then the scary thoughts will creep up again.. It will not solve the root of the problem..

To solve this, we adults must make the move.. just like courting, in a way.. we should invite the young ppl into our lives.. not just one only lar.. may be more so when they join as a small group into your cg, they will still feel they hv friends together with them, further more joning a group that they already know.. lagi bagus lar.. THEN, in any event some of them have to further their studies or called to else where to pursue God's dream for them, we have at least build that relationship with those that stayed back so that they will not look to the world for acceptance and the sense of belonging.. We can continue to show God to them, we can continue to direct them to Jesus, we can help them continue the grow in Faith...

When all of us young adults understand how important our weekly cg meeting is and how we can lead the next generation into deeper maturity in God.. we will see continous growth in the next generation (and the next and the next etc..)physically (in numbers), emotionally (in acceptance), intellectually (in wisdom) and most of all Spiritually (in God's Character)!.. Let us all play that important part!!?

My hope is that you (who is wiling to read this, thank you ver much..) understand the seriousness of this issue.. if we do not do something now.. Our next generation will be lost...

Remembering...

2011-01-10T13:55:00.000+08:00

Food that my fren cook before she go home.. yummy... and her mashed potatoes dish... very the nice lor!!!~~ one of my fren that really knows how to cook and bake... wished she could have stayed longer so I can learn more baking skills from her.. nice ler the Sarawak Laksa on top?? i'm feeling hungry myself.. ahehehe..

Here to you Han Then!!! Alexander says "Cheers!!!""

Our little "joker".. LOL

2010-12-29T00:08:00.000+08:00

Seriously funny... wht to do... kids mar.. sure eat like tt lar.. ok... not all kids.. just my kids i guess.. ahahaha.. I still think letting him eat like this is alright... but not all the time lar.. :P (i think i allow it all too often..)

Alexander is no angel.. but he is the center of attention with his stunts and charm.. I hope he will be more careful as he grows and stay safe all the time..

So proud..

2010-12-27T23:24:00.000+08:00

I wonder how many young ppl still actually read my blog? ahahah not many I suppose.. Unless I inform them on FB that I up dated it a guess... :)

This post I'd like to dedicate it to my young ppl in church.. who have worked sooooo hard and so much afford have been put into the Christmas celebration! The whole service was superb and fun! I really think they did a great job and I can't wait to see wht is in stored next year when they plan for the year's activities and studies..

Eventhough the mime was not fully understood by the older generations.. I truly believe that it has spoken to many ppl during the service.. I know the way tt young ppl do things now a days is a bit 'off key' sometimes and they need a lot of guidance and pointers and reminders.. but I also believe that sometimes, we need to just let them take the lead at certain things... (when they are ready, not everything but somethings..) Most importantly is that they are willing to put in that effort and hard work.. that commitment and focus..

Thank you guys.. it was great work!

Rejections...

2010-12-25T23:08:00.002+08:00

Ever felt rejected before? always you say?? ya.. me too.. :(

And you think that you'll get over it and when the next rejection come, we can handle it better.. eh.. If that is the case, I dun think I can handle rejection at all... haih...

I had to be honest with how i feel... I will be as polite and kind as I possibly could but that is how I feel at the time and I need to express it.... feeling rejected and unwanted, not needed..

haih.. but I know I cannot always be like this.. but I care... that is why i feel tt way.. should I not care? So I do not feel tt way? eh.. eh.. eh...? haih... perhaps I should just learn to take rejection like a man.. i mean.. like a woman.. u know.. strong and lady like :P

I've always been the black sheep in a way... or may be that is how I myself see it? Not part of the 'group', not in the 'gang'.. loner.. I tried not to make others feel rejected, but why do I always feel tt way ler? Could be just ME.. my weakness.. my own selfishness.. is it?

Anyway... Even if I feel hurt or rejected.. I will not allow that feeling to turn to unforgiveness or hate.. coz that will hinder God's work and all tt I hv done may just go down the drain just because of one sin.. I WILL NOT ALLOW IT!!! Devil! Dun hold me down with lies!! I will not be defeated by it.. I may feel bad and down at the time.. but I will not stay down for long.. Coz i got Jesus!!! He showed me the redemption he has for me everytime I feel tt way.. :) and It's just perfect!

Lord, You are so awesome.. thank you for opening my eyes.. and my heart.. amen..

I am Successful :') as He said I would..

2010-12-24T23:46:00.001+08:00

Many years ago, I remember feeling very down and confuse.. I do not know where should I go from there onwards.. Should I stay or should I go back.. I was only in my second year in uni and going into my third.. but I was really struggling about where my future would be..

I prayed and prayed and prayed.. then one day.. I heard God's voice very clearly and He said, "You will be sucessful." then I said, " What? How? What do You mean by sucessful?".... then total silence.. "God, if that was You could you repeat what You just said? I know I heard You but just to make sure You know...".......Silence...." Please???"....silence.. (ok.. so what do You mean by Sucessful? successful in what? In my career? Financial? in my marriege? Overall-what ever tt is... WHAT? by what stadard? Whose standards? God's?~~ what is God's standard on being sucessful? what?) .. In the end.. I knew without a shadow of a doubth tt that was God's voice coz I would had never thought of tt ans.. (Ans that gave me more questions than ans my prayer.. duh.. I'm not tt confused..)

I hold on to that promised and stayed on.. and no matter what happens.. even when i fail in many ways.. I remembered that promised God made to me.. I hold on to it with my dear life and I believe that it will come true... one day.. but dunno when.. dunno how... DON'T even know what success truly is... (or mean based on God's character, values and standards)..

I always tell my young ppl about this.. ahahahaha... It sounds silly, i know!.. They would be thinking, "But Susana, You are not sucessful yet right? (or you are???huh?) How can you be so sure that it is from God? and that you can be so proud to claim that GOD have promised you that you would be sucessful when you are not yet sucessful? Duh lar like tt..?" :P true.. I dun blame them (if they think tt way... I totally understand..) I was still serching for that meaning of success... the secure future.. the high class career.. the noble deeds.. the praise worthy work...

I said "was"..... you know why? :D (huge grin!!!)

I always love Christmas Eve.. It brings back loads of beautiful childhood memory... Happy birthday Jesus.. You deserve all our praise.. We love you...

Lord, here I am..

2010-12-23T23:31:00.001+08:00

Many people struggle with this question....

When is the best time for us to serve God?

"Not me, I'm a nobody. Wait till I make it in life first?"
"Not yet, I'm too young to serve. It's too serious and hard."
"Nah, never. Not my kinda thing."
"Who me? What can I do at this old age?"
"I have better things to do lar. My exams is just around the corner."
"God don't need me, He can ask other people. I'm busy with my things."
"I'm so busy with so many things, wait lar. When I am more free. I'll think about it."
"Not now, I'm not ready. I need to do this and that first then only I qualify."
and the list goes on and on and on..

Do you know when is the RIGHT time to serve God? huh?

Broken pieces...

2010-12-22T13:48:00.000+08:00

Where are the pieces? Have you given them all?
If u still wanna keep some, I can't help you at all..
.
You know that I want to, take ur hand and rescue u;
but first you have to, give me ur all, all of u..
.
I know it's hard to give up some, painful and hurtful things;
but know that I am with you, for you and in every missing links.
.
You don't have love, don't have joy, don't have peace;
Coz I am your love, your Joy and yes you are right, I am your peace.
.
My birthday is coming soon, may not be the actual day;
It is still meaningful to me and all who celebrate and pray.
.
I do not ask for a perfect gift, eventhough that is what I deserve to receive;
I only ask for your broken heart, so I can mend, love and give you peace..

What a busy December 2010...

2010-12-21T01:38:00.003+08:00

Loads to do!!! And I dun have enough time to do everything!!! Everything I want that is.. I'm only human right... but i do try.. I really really tried... Until i so tired d...

Thanks to hubby who was so kind to have helped be 'close' up every night for the past few days so I can rest early... NOW! I'm more energized!!! Thanks honey.. u r so sweet! ;*

I'm looking forward for Christmas this year because our youth is actually in charged of the whole celebration~~! a bit stress also coz if anything goes wrong.. my neck would be on the chopping board... I was sooooo looking forward for the youth camp too!!! Eventhough I couldn't make it.. I knew tt it will be a great and womderful camp for everyone!!! and it was!.. Loads of testimonies too.. awesome!.. I hope young ppl will get their ans soon from God.. but i still believe God will have His timing.. Some of us may get the ans sooner than others while some of us needs to go through certain things first before we can appreciate or learn the meaning of the the ans.. (eh.. am I making any sense?)

Anyway... I'm praying for you guys out there who are still searching for the ans from God!!! Never give up! Always hang on!! Jesus is not too far to reach... He is just next to u.. always.. (Even though everyone knows tt for a fact, we sometimes still dun get it.. so we need to be reminded daily that He is always there, through His words...)

3 wonderful years in marriege :')

2010-12-01T11:40:00.002+08:00

Happy Wedding Anniversary Honey :)

What a wonderful 3 years of our lives together..

May our Lord Jesus continue to be the center of our union and love..

..I love you..

To my depress fren..

2010-11-30T00:53:00.003+08:00

I want to encourage you to be bold and courageous! I know it is hard and it is terrifying, but know that when it is in God's plan, everything will turn out fine :) I believe that you can overcome this.. And when you think you are all alone there and all ur other frens are here.. Remember that YOU are not alone.. We are always there for u, in prayer and in our thoughts.. and when you need someone to talk to.. We are here via msn or FB :D while Jesus is just a prayer away..

Do not be afraid because real love will drive out all fear so know that Jesus loves you even though this decision may be scary, but when it is done out of love.. there is no reason to fear.. (make sense kah?? LOL) I'm writing this at 1am in the morning.. a bit sleepy and blurr.. some more hv to wash the bottles before i go to bed..

but I love you oh.. Jesus loves you even MORE!!! so I must write this now to encourage you to not let this situation beat u up! (Literally!) Dun cry, dun be sad, dun feel depress... You shall overcome.. you shall be given the strength to move on and move forward.. and no matter how far u go.. you are not far from our hearts.. :') love u~~~