My growing Child..

I do less for you, doesn't mean I don't love you..
I don't pay attention to you as much, doesn't mean I am being unfair..
To you I may be unjust, but I know this has to be done..
For you have given much but he needs me more now..

So I need to take care of him now, for his needs is more urgently..
When you need me more later, I will be there for you then..
But for now you are in God's hand only God is in control..
Mommy could only, as much as possible, take care of mommy's body..
So you will also grow well, in mommy's tummy..

I pray that as you grow up in our family.. along side with your elder brother..
You will not feel rejected, nor being treated unfairly..
For each child is different and we need to love each one of you differently..
We may show more attention to one of your siblings, but give you more freedom as we trust in your maturity..
With this we are not being unfair but just as the wisdom of God consume us..

I pray that you will know that you were never second best..
That's only the lie of the devil to come to kill,to destroy and to put you to death!
I will never allow the devil to win,
coz Our God is migthy and will save you from now till then..

My lovely babe understand this world..
That is it temporary, cruel, and so natural..
We need God in all that we do..
To please our Lord is the first priority for you..

I love baby.. grow well in mommy's tummy...

Today is a quiet and busy day.. make sense??

Today we only have 3 ppl in the office :D

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In the morning it was pretty slow and mandate... I did managed to plan to call for new prospect.. which I am very proud of doing as it was pretty fruitful.. and yes, it took me a long time to jsut call about 6-7 productive calls to new clients from the tearsheet our researcher had done for us.. Coming week, I will continue my new found passion... LOL

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Today I have also decided on sending a fedex 10kg box every week or twice a month to my Manager in SG to pass or mail to clients in SG.. By doing so I know I am at the same time building rapport and introducing Corbis to the new clients again.. Let them remember my friendly gesture and voice ahahahah..

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Getting the phone numbers to call on the new clients from the tearsheet is taking loads of my time actually... but I hope it will be worth it in due time..

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That;s work, after work.. went for a special church service... It was a great service which the speaker touch many lives.. God touched many lives through her sharing I mean.. it was a blessed night I believe.. Perhaps I should have gone up for a prayer but didn't; perhaps I too needed some encouragement but didn't ask for it.. yet I know God still speak through me and to me.. everyday... He touched my life with other ppl's stories and experience.. He touched my heart and soul that is dry at times and made it weep... refreshing actually.. :D

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Persecutions.... I wonder have I had enough of my share? or there are more to come? this word is not new to me.. but then it was not done in the Lord's name.. it was done to mould me and make me.. so I ask again.. Have I gotten my fair share of persecution? Is there more to come?

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I'm sure there will be.. because the road with Christ is narrow and only few will walk in it.. I only pray that firstly the ppl most important in my life will walk together with me.. selfish? perhaps.. but it is wrong to ask for this or have this desire? For God choose ppl to enter His gates too.. right? What more we who are mere mortals? Is it more noble to sacrifice our own family for the sake of others to know Christ? perhaps.. but with God's wisdom and power.. not man.. Coz when man do it with his own strength.. it will NOT be fruitful... when man do it with God's strength, it shows and it will be fruitful..

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So, Fear the Lord. Do what he says... Dun just blind like a bat and go kill yourself and ask to be crucified!!! If you are not called to die on the cross like Peter, then perhaps you are the one writing one of the most important book in the Bible.. so do our part.. as God has requested of us.. Obey and not blindly sacrifice.. God did said.. Obedience is better than sacrifice...

Christmas at the Curve

Just went to the Curve with Sharon, Logan, Han Then, Nigel, Alexander and me..

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Had dinner at Bubba Gump (Shrimp Co.) I think the salad I ordered was yuks.. to the max.. RM29.90 ler.. I can't appreciate the taste lar I guess.. Nigel ordered something like Chicken and prawn fired balls.. ok wor.. Han Then had the Burger.. Sharon had the prawn soup or something.. Logan, had the whole appetizer to himself... He can't even finished it by the way.. it's huge!!!

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Alexander will loves his yogurt though.. This boy ah... haiyo.. cannot sit still for even a min lar.. daddy and mommy is so tired.. At least daddy got extra fat to burn for you lar Boy Boy... Mommy dun have lar..

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The decoration outside the Curve was nice and sweet.. but we didn't get to walk or shop coz it was about 9pm already when we came out from the restaurant..

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The purpose we go there to have dinner is to take Christmas photo with Alexander lor.. so I think all of us had fun fellowship and take photos with the nice Christmas trees :D

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I like this photo Alexander and Han Then... candid and merry.. LOL

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Wah... as for Logan and Sharon.. Ai seh.. macam anak sendiri oh... LOL...

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Don't you think so?? ahahahaha.. Very proud GodParent of Alexander.. ahahaha..

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ahahaha... We are Family!!!~~~ Daddy mommy Alexander & baby!!!~~~ (Now i see my hair look a bit like Nigel's hair hor.. akakekekeke.. perhaps I need a another nice hair cut :D..)

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Alexander still needs to grow more hair lar..

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It was a good night!! Besides us being a bit late and that Alexander cannot sit still during dinner time.. everything else was wonderful... We had fun :) tired but fun..

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Thanks you guys for making it.. Will post the photos as soon as I can on facebook....

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Next stop... 1U~~~~!!!!! Anyone wanna join us for dinner?? Ahahaha..
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My First Christmas Gift...

Can you guess from who??

:D who else lar.. Nigel lor.. I also gave him his first 2009 Christmas present..

Some of you already know wht it is lar.. LOL.. funny..

I will share the photos later.. it's in my phone and have to up load it first..

Going to take photo with Alexander for Christmas soon.. next year CNY also.. coz this year CNY didn't really get to take nice photos with him..

Looking back at 2009.. it was WOW!!! So much had happen just within tt one year period.. I'm glad I'm still alive.. alive means still living a fulfilled life.. not without hope, not without joy, not without a smile on my face.. I always though tt one day, should my mother goes back to the Lord, I would loose my smile and my joy.. I did, but for a while.. Thank God, Jesus was there all the time.. He sent ppl tt cares for me, comfort and supported me.. I am glad for everyone and everything..

So much yet to come in 2010.. are you looking forward to it!!!??? I said this last year ahahahah and see wht I had to go through.. I hope this coming new year will be a great and awesome one..

Clear half way :D

I am glad to have a great dicussion with Nic and Pastor along with Jaecie and Nigel last night.

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Cleared a lot of stuffs yet (yes, i went home and continue to think and ponder on things...) I must clear ALL outstanding matters since we all need to say every single thing that would seem to be a possible issue.. for the past and for the future. So the devil cannot use these things to hinder us from moving forward again..

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Yesterday session was a good one, confrontation is not a bad thing, really. It may not be comfortable but the result is unity, clarity, understanding and forgiveness. Confrontation is not one way, it's both ways. So it is a good way to communicate in the most serious manner.. (tt's wht I think.)

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There should be some annoucements to be done to set things right (may be? dunno yet) and from now on everything should be recorded (from my side) when it comes to official statements lar.. so when there are changes, we have a record and we can be on the same page.

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Forgive me for being absents physically and mindlessly (is there such a word??haha..).. being pregnant again this time is a bit more though physically (even for my brain). Sometimes I can't feel my brain moving much.. really!!? my heart is still beating strong.. but thinking wise.. I dun even know the date or time.. just know tt morning take care and sayang Alexander before going to work, then whole day work, go home have dinner then sleep... tt was it!!! Only recently was truly able to think and pray.. even reading the word I restart recently since I got pregnant this year coz I can't even get myself to do any other things..

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I am still the main person over seeing CPY while Nic and Joon Lang (and sometimes Han Then and Rebecca helps out..) is my leaders in this youth.. I some how portrait that I am not the head of the ministry and has caused confusion among the youth (in a way). They are sometimes lost because they dunno who to listen to when they should have come to me to seek answers and clarity rather than just asking the other leaders, then only I can clarify the situation for ALL.

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I can say I give much liberty to Nic to do almost everything and sometimes when he submits a request for an event and activity, it's a pretty good idea. But I need to learn how to convey this to the young people that Nic did ask for my feedback every time before he goes and do it.. Of course with Pastor's consent (sometimes yes and sometimes not yet).. but at times, we still misses Q.. but we are still learning to communicate more often and more efficiently. Right Nic?

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I hope all my leaders and youth understands that I am not judging them..I am protecting them and supporting them in every way that I can.. I am still learning lar; we are all still learning..

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Learning to be better and truly live to please God.

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Especially when I come to you with questions or doubts, instructions or even an advise (rebuke even).. I think we all need to be answerable to our actions and be aware of it, even myself.. (Please know that I am open and ready for critiques from leaders and youth at any point of time but share it with love and patient as I have with all.) But never ever lie to me (please don't), that is my request for a healthy relationship.. Being honest to each other is the foundation for all relationships. Don't lie because of fear of the outcome. It is better to say the truth and deal with the matter head on..

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Nigel has been a wonderful husband who has supported me in EVERYTHING. His reaction towards my frustration is most of the time... enlightening.. hahaha.. only Nigel could make me feel that way.. sometimes after expressing my frustration and perhaps anger (especially about the ministry).. he always comes up with something interesting or supportive to help me cope.. I truly love this man who is a voice behind all the scene of my life..

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Even though he seems to be behind me all the time, he has always been in my eyes (I put him first before me..) and in my heart.. I believe in what he does for our family is with much love and sacrifice... even though it takes a long time to actually seems like it, but I am as a wife, companion and friend should be more supportive and understanding in every way possible. --May God give me patience :P

Drawn to the warmth

Factoring in the windshill, I knew the temperature was below zero. The bitter cold cut through my Californian sensibilities, as well as my enthusiasm as a tourist, so I ducked through the nearest door for warmth.. and found myself in Washington, D.C.'s Union Station.

I settled onto one of the public benches with a streaming cup of coffee--waiting for feeling to return to my fingers and toes--and relaxed to engage in some serious people watching.

Several tables of diners spilled out into the great hall from the upscale American Restaurant, and heavenly aromas tempted me to consider an early dinner. I observed a man seated nearby and from the longing in his eyes, realized that he too, noticed the tantalizing food. His gaunt body, wind-chapped hands and tattered clothes nearly shouted, "Homeless, homeless!"

How long has it been since he's eaten? I wondered.

Half expecting him to approach me for a handout, I almost welcomed such a plea. He never did. The longer I took in the scene, the cruder his plight seemed. My head and heart waged a silent was, the one telling me to mind my own business, the other urging a trip to the food court on his behalf.

While my internal debate raged on, a well-dressed young couple approached him. "Excuse me, sir," the husband began. "My wife and I just finished eating, and our appetites weren't as big as we thought. We hate to waste good food. Can you help us out and put this to use?" He extend a large Styrofoam container.

"God bless you both. Merry Christmas," came the grateful reply.

Pleased, yet dismayed by my own lack of action, I continued to watch. The man srutized his newfound bounty, rearranged the soup crackers, inspected the club sandwich and stirred the salad dressing--obviously prolonging this miracle meal. Then, with a slow deliberateness, he lifted the soup lid and, cupping his hands around the steaming warm bowl, inhaled. At last, he unwrapped the plastic spoon, filled it to overflowing, lifted it towards his mouth and --with a suddenness that stunned me--stopped short.

I turned my head to follow his narrow-eyed gaze.

Entering the hall and shuffling in our direction was a new arrival. Hatless and gloveless, the elderly man was clad in lightweight pants, a threadbare jacket and open shoes. His hands were raw, and his face had bluish tint. I wasn't alone in gasping aloud at this sad sight, but my needy neighbor was the only one doing anything about it..

Setting aside his meal, he leaped up and guided the elderly man to an adjacent seat. He took his icy hands and rubbed them briskly in his own. With a final tenderness, he draped his worn jacket over the older man's shoulders.

"Pop, my name's Jack," he said, "and one of God's angels brought me this meal. I just finished eating and hate to waste good food. Can you help me out?"

He placed the still warm bowl of soup in the stranger's hands without waiting for an answer. But he got one.

"Sure, son, but only if you go halfway with me on that sandwich. It's too much fir a man my age."

It wasn't easy making my way to the food court with tears blurring my vision, but I soon returned with large containers of coffee and a big assortment of pastries. " Excuse me, gentlemen, but..."

I left Union Station that day feeling warmer than I had ever thought possible.

Marion Smith..

Time flies.. hmm.. or does it?

Is time pasting fast or slow? Is 2 years a long time? or short?

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Ahahaha we are married for two years now :D normally no real celebration, the day will still goes the sames as before.. wake up, go work and come home..

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Last year, we celebrated it with Alexander Full moon in church... LOL.. this year.. we need to go for my bb medical check up... LOL.. sure got something to do on tt day... :D and it would involve our children.. but not our anniversary celebration...

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Two years is not as long as you may think but we have been together for about 8 years... So, if we count the time we spend together.. It's pretty good..

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From the years I've known Nigel.. we learnt and grown together.. we are not without differences.. in fact! we are almost total opposites... he likes meat, i love veggies; he loves the cold, i like it warm and hot; he likes Chinese food (not soup); i like western food (but love Chinese soup); he loves to stay at home, i'm the social type; he loves the TV and his computer, I love the great outdoors and picnics; he likes the nigth, I adores the mornings; He enjoys dinner most, i love having breakfast.. ahahahah and the list goes on and on and on... this is just our likes and dislikes... I haven't got to our differences in character yet!!! :D

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Not to say we had it smooth and romantic.. (trust me.. Nigel is not the type that sends flowers and cards... he only send flowers to me.. 3 times in our 8 years of relationship.. once is the first date, second to say sorry.. and 3rd!!! on my bridal shower.. coz Tien CHing and Michelle ask him to.. LOL) We had it rough actually, some of our AIA frens didn't even thought we would made it this far.. not tt to prove them wrong.. really it's not.. I do believe them when they had that thought coz it was truly impossible for these two opposites to live and stay together..

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All I can say is that it is possible if we allow God to be in the center of our relationship.. Nigel may not have memorized the word in the bible like many great Christlike man. But Nigel has come a long way in making himself better and trying to be a better person for us and God.

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As a wife, I cannot always complain.. I will of course, in so many ways and in so many things.. but I do try to be the good wife, partner and friend God wants me to be.. every time i have a complain.. I will tell Nigel about it.. then remember the vow that I made on our wedding day.. I still remember one sentence that is vital in our marriage.. and that is to respect him..

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I know as a women, it is sometimes very hard to respect the men.. coz we are so capable.. ahahahaha (perasan) :P but he is the head of the house and he must be respected.. but men too need to take up his responsibility lar.. if he is not.. we the wife need to encourage a bit lar.. nag a bit bit enough d.. not too much.. (I always tell myself tt.. so i always count how many times i actually talk about certain issues :D) but if it is out of hand and husband not doing anything to improve.. then perhaps need to seek outside help lar.. but try our very best first lor..

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Remember that we married a fallen man... not an angel!!! they are not perfect in so many ways.. and so are we... but I believe in doing the best that we could possibly can for our hubby with God's help is the key...

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I am still learning to be a better wife and companion for Nigel..

I pray Nigel is doing the same for me too :D

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Happy anniversary darling... I love you~~~ :*