I'm so bless...

I'm so bless and grateful for so many wonderful things in my life..

Pass life was painful with some glipse of joy and love.. my present has it's heart aches but filled with hope and blessings... my future...

...brighter than the moon in the sky and sweeter then honey in the comb..

If I can choose how I would die.. I want to go when I'm at a very, very old age.. not becuase of sickness or from an accident...I want to see All my grandchildren (if God's will) I would want to die during a celebration.. when we are all having a really good time.. When my family and friends are gathered with children running around playing taggs.. Family and Friends chating and sharing joyous memories.. balloons and bright decorations every where!! Laughters can be heard all over the place!! Everyone is just having such a wonderful time!!!

And there I am.. sitting in a rocking chair.. looking at all this things happening right before my eyes.. and I thank God from the bottom of my heart... What ever I had to go through in life (those events that I may not even know yet..). it's all worth it.. Coz now i see hope in my children's eyes for a Godly future... I see Hope,Joy and Love in my grandchildren's future.. and I see loving memories from my old friends..

.. then.. I am ready to go..

Dun worry.. I'm not going off now.. LOL... sot meh? ahahah not so soon lor.. i still have a long way to go.. more things to learn and more love to share..

In remembrance of my mother.. we miss u~~

Has been keeping your number for two years even though I dun get to call it anymore..

I hope you are looking out for us from heaven with Jesus and that you are finally at peace from the pain of this world..

We are doing great over here.. thanks to your stern discipline and loving hands..

We are a better person, we hope we do u proud, always..

I may not be able to visit your grave every now a then, but I hope when you were still living..

You kown that I've loved you dearly..

Even though you are not here anymore, I think of you often and thank God for having you as my mother..

You are awesome!!! Super great :) i miss you and love you always..

TETAP CINTA YESUS SELAMANYA

KU MAHU CINTA YESUS SELAMANYA

KU MAHU CINTA YESUS SELAMANYA

MESKIPUN BADAI SILIH BERGANTI DALAM HIDUPKU

KU TETAP CINTA YESUS SELAMANYA

.

YA ABBA, BAPA, INI AKU ANAK-MU

LAYAKKANLAH SELURUH HIDUPKU

YA ABBA, BAPA, INI AKU ANAK-MU

PAKAILAH SESUAI DENGAN RENCANA-MU

.

Saya ampunkan kamu, sebab saya cintai Yesus.. Hanya Yesus akan layakan kamu wahai kawanku.. Kalau Yesus layakan kamu, saya tidak akan bantah.. Saya harus berdoa, supaya kamu akan kembali kepangkuan Yesus dengan pengakuan dan pembetulan daripada perbuatan kamu itu.. Semoga berjaya...

.

Tetapi.. jangan dekati saya sekarang.. kerana saya masih sedih...

Doing the right thing..

It's hard to do wht is right, isn't it?

.

We will always want to just give into wht we are, wht we are feeling, wht we want to do.. Is it so wrong to be human? to make mistakes? some of us don't even think it is a mistake.. so wht's the big deal? Wht you perceive is right and correct may not be for so many other ppl? so why should I care? Why should I be any different and struggle to be good all the time? No one understands wht I had to go through and no one will ever understand how i feel, coz i dun even know myself!!

.

Sounds like someone you know? Actually above feelings is felt by many young teens these days.. they are so confused and lost, they just wanna give up.. give up on family, friends and for some.. God.. They love God but they just can't help themselves to do the things they feel they wanna do.. things that would hurt them, things that will not give them peace, things that they will regret doing etc.. They just want to be angry and no one would care.. no one could understand.. no one could help or change them.. they just give up..

.

Some people tells me that it is only a phase of their lives.. to go through all these EMO and hormonal changes is normal.. just keep a close eye on it, let them express it (correctly), give them the advise they need and they will grow out of it later in time.. I still think they need one more thing...

.

They need to know the unconditional love of God.. but how do we teach someone about that love when they continue to live in sin, depression, without faith etc? taking God's love and grace for granted? There is no easy way.. but JUST LOVE..

.

We should always love them, no matter in wht stage they are in now.. we need to pray for them again and again so that they will not loose Hope, which is from Christ Jesus, who can take them and change them inside out..

.

Thank you Jesus for you unconditional love..

Where to go after youth??

Actually, many ppl struggle with this question everytime they are about to graduate and perhaps (force to) move on to a new level of spiritual maturity..

.

I remember when I was at tt age, I was freaking out when I graduate from form 5!! I feel so preassured coz I dun think I'm ready for the Cell Group type of meeting coz 1) I dun really know anyone there, dun feel like I have a fren 2) I was scared I will not be up to par with the rest of the ppl in tt group-- bible study in mandarin wor.. I cannot understand ler.. stress one u know.. pray some more in mandarin? pengsa lor... :( then 3) I dun even know what is cell group and most of all I have to click/share with 'uncles and aunties'? I'm soooo scared.. :'(

.

Btw, I'm very good with uncle and aunties ok.. it's just that, I dun think they are interested in me enough to want to 'include' me in theri cg? you know wht i mean? further more, as far as i know, cg means closer and more personal contact with the person in that group but if I dun feel accepted or belonged.. How am I to move to that stage? It is very uncomfortable to feel like an alien ya know.. It's hard to move on and make that first step and the 'adults' is not making it any easier.. :'( coz they have all this expectations on us young ppl (hey! I was young then.) so stressed so pressured.. you may say coz i never talk to them and know them much.. ello? it can be the other way around? why dun they come to me and talk to me? I'm more scared of them then they are of me right? RIGHT??

.

But I can't join the youth wor.. coz it states only certain age group of ppl can join (not our CPY ah.. youth who are still studying can still join.. unless u start work d.. then we will need to find you a cg and you need not move on until you feel comfortable to do so.. here, i'm talking about my previous church in my youth time..).. so where am I to go? not here nor there.. kesian kan??

.

I think it is very important for us adults to build a brigde with the young generation. When they are in the youth ministry, pls dun just let them be. Get to know them, appreciate them, pray for them, get every chance to talk to them, spend even quality time with them and bless them.. It is like building a relationship for them and prepared them for adulthood, for maturity, for moving on to the next level.. If we just cross our hands and don't put in any effort.. we will loose them to the world because they do not feel accepted, do not feel belonged, do not feel secure with us..

.

Of course they can have their own CG.. but being in a Cell Group is more than just doing bible study.. there is accountability and responsibility that goes with joining a CG.. the ppl in that group is like your direct family that you spent a lot of time with in prayer, in sharing and in growing.. If the group conssist of all after form 5 students and in between the time a few of them hv to further their studies.. the question is, will that CG still go on with only say.. two ppl? if I was one of the two.. I would.. I dun care how many ppl in my group coz i know God will bless if I keep to it!!! I'm tt stubborn!! but if the two person left is very discounraged and very demovoted d.. wht should they do? Go to the adult's group? then the scary thoughts will creep up again.. It will not solve the root of the problem..

.

To solve this, we adults must make the move.. just like courting, in a way.. we should invite the young ppl into our lives.. not just one only lar.. may be more so when they join as a small group into your cg, they will still feel they hv friends together with them, further more joning a group that they already know.. lagi bagus lar.. THEN, in any event some of them have to further their studies or called to else where to pursue God's dream for them, we have at least build that relationship with those that stayed back so that they will not look to the world for acceptance and the sense of belonging.. We can continue to show God to them, we can continue to direct them to Jesus, we can help them continue the grow in Faith...

.

When all of us young adults understand how important our weekly cg meeting is and how we can lead the next generation into deeper maturity in God.. we will see continous growth in the next generation (and the next and the next etc..)physically (in numbers), emotionally (in acceptance), intellectually (in wisdom) and most of all Spiritually (in God's Character)!.. Let us all play that important part!!?

.

My hope is that you (who is wiling to read this, thank you ver much..) understand the seriousness of this issue.. if we do not do something now.. Our next generation will be lost...

Remembering...

Food that my fren cook before she go home.. yummy... and her mashed potatoes dish... very the nice lor!!!~~ one of my fren that really knows how to cook and bake... wished she could have stayed longer so I can learn more baking skills from her.. nice ler the Sarawak Laksa on top?? i'm feeling hungry myself.. ahehehe..

.

Here to you Han Then!!! Alexander says "Cheers!!!""

Our little "joker".. LOL

Seriously funny... wht to do... kids mar.. sure eat like tt lar.. ok... not all kids.. just my kids i guess.. ahahaha.. I still think letting him eat like this is alright... but not all the time lar.. :P (i think i allow it all too often..)

.

Alexander is no angel.. but he is the center of attention with his stunts and charm.. I hope he will be more careful as he grows and stay safe all the time..