Thought of the day..

For about 1 whole year I tried my best in the new vocation that I embark into since 2012 but in the end, I had to leave and take on another career path.. 

Next week I am starting my new career in a new company starting a new direction and a new focus. Taking new challenges is scary and uncertain.. but if I do not change, nothing will change.. 

As I serve in the youth ministry.. I have been asking this question recently, have I not been doing all these for Christ? Have I been doing this for myself? I do not think so.. but then how come others think that I could have done all these for my own sake?? wouldn't it be easier to just don't do anything? take the easy way out and focus on my family and career, not a ministry? Isn't it burdensome to do something consistently and it is consistently tiring and troublesome? really? Am I asking for trouble by doing all these? because after a while, it wouldn't matter anymore.. what I have been fighting for will just be lost in time.. gone with the wind.. phewwwww~~ Feel like the palmist now. Emo only.. or the writer of Ecclesiastes, everything is meaningless!!!!!I tell you!! MEANINGLESS!!!! LOL.. it's funny lar.. it's not meaningless.. I know.. I know.. 

When I looks at my children, it is not meaningless.. God has a purpose for everything.. I just need to do what I am suppose to do NOW.. no more no less.. and just like any other parents or spiritual parents.. What we want is want God wants from our children/sheep.. DO WHAT THEY ARE MADE TO DO AND DO IT NOW! 

The devil is full of lies, he keep slipping into our minds and tries to con us from doing God's will.. telling us that we are not going to make it till the end, so why even try now.. Telling us that even the leader that we follow is not going anywhere far, so why even bother.. Telling lies so we will get hurt and gossip about ppl IN THE CHURCH that hurt us.. really?? Is that the best that you can do devil!? I am not afraid of you!!!  I know your tricks... Yes, I may have looked like I have been discouraged and defeated but I am not knocked down by you, you snake! You are going to taste the dust from my feet so get behind me and scram!! You plan to take God's flock away from Him? You plan to ruin their faith and go against God? you wished!!! My God will prevail! He will overcome you as He had done it over and over again!! He will do it again and you know it satan.. your lies will never hold true.. it will never last! just like a battle, I may have lost some battles but my God wins the wars for me!!! Just you wait! 

Going to get ready for youth meeting now.. not many are faithful, but God will work with those who are. Use all of us Jesus for your kingdom.. We are nothing without You.. nothing.. 

It's a beautiful day!!

I wonder have I passed the test? Barely I think.. :p continue to pass and continue to bear better result every time! Lord, I need you, always~~

No Compromise!!! Limitless!! By planet shakers.. This is the 2 songs I heard recently that really captured my attention.. As we are in the year of God's jubilee, we faced many obstacles and trials few months back.. Temptations, challenges, heart aches, discouragement etc.. These trails are necessary to our spiritual growth.. Without these test we wouldn't grow up and we will never the meaning of humility.. Because if things always goes our way, we will get big headed n proud that we are of no use to God or to any one else around us.. We don't have love, no kindness, no joy, no peace, no success..

I thought about those who are suffering without God.. Who can they turned to? Who can they rely on? Who can they trust? Who can they hang on to? Who would be worthy of their love n all their life? Parents? Spouse? Friends? For the older friends, our children? Our work? Who Or what? I must constantly remind myself to look for God for all things.. Sometimes He will ask me to look for someone else to get the ans coz I am too distracted to listen directly from Him..

Hey friends, when you are feeling down and you think that you cannot trust anyone else.. I'd like to encourage you to trust in the one that created you, the one that really really knows you, the one that hold you in His arms and love you unconditionally. Not talking about your biological or step dad but rather talking about God, your Heavenly Father, your friend Jesus and your counselor, the Holy Spirit..

May you have love, faith and hope.. And the greatest of these is love...

Favourites..?

If God gave one person a gift of prophecy while the other have none, is God being unfair? Does it mean He loves the one with the gift more? What is fair and what is being someone's favourite? If one disciple is more obedient than another, doesn't he/she deserve more blessing and responsibility? Or everyone should have the same authority but in actual fact is not ready for obedience?

I absolutely disagree with having favourites, among the 12 disciple of Jesus, don't you think tt there will be some closer to Jesus than others? Some can be frank with Jesus while some, quiet and reserved, have another plan in God's kingdom? And yet have better understanding about Jesus with those who can laugh and joke with Jesus??

Only when you become a parents with more than 1 child you will know that you will always try to be fair but its a difficult task.. Because which child is different.. And if we really want to be fair, we would have 1 set of rules that applies to everyone while the showing of care, discipline n encouragement should differ from one child to another child.. I think than that would be fair..

It's hard to explain in by writing.. I can only say that as for rules, it must be equal or the same but when it comes to discipline and encouragement, it must suit the person we are teaching or mentoring.. Not any 1 method can apply to everyone.. Even showing love can be receive differently by diff ppl.. Thus I think being fair to many young ppl is.. To know them personally and to treat them the way they would feel most loved n appreciated. Discipline them in the way that they can understand. Love them no matter how they may perceive our good intentions..

I know how it feels like to not be the favourite, but its ok.. Really.. I am still loved, just differently.. Let us not have that first born mentality coz when our brother return home and our father shower him with authority n receive him unconditional.. Welcome him too.. For he has suffered enough being alone on his own without his father and without his brothers n sisters with him for a long time..

Favourites? We are all God's favourites..

Trying not to be emotional about it...

How do I explain how I feel about my life right now... Well.. Feelings are over rated!! Hahaha I refuse to let my feelings get in the way of my day and my life, even though feelings and emotions is a big part of me.. My intuition and my gut feelings are from my emotions.. But this time, being emotional about it is not going to work.. I know how I feel and I know what I should do and I will do it right and with a clear conscious.. I will not do what I think is not right and if I have to do it, then I will have to walk away from the temptation.. In Joseph situation, run! Remind me to run HS, and not be the person I hate to be.. Coz I know i am a better person..
I struggle with this like a torn stuck to my foot... Painful and irritating! Trying to pull it out and throw it away the moment I can..only God knows what am I talking bout and out siders will think an conclude my situation on something else entirely.. Cannot blame ppl geh, coz others dun know geh mar.. Only few knows what am i talking about and what am I struggling right now...
Anyway... I know God will have His way with me.. I hope I learnt it and passed it with flying colours.. Either that or I failed and redo the test again... I dun want the later!!! :( let me pass let me pass~~ I dun want to redo... Let me settle down and focus on this part of my life right now.. Lord, help me with patience and perseverance.. Give me wisdom and knowledge.. I need Your help more than ever my Jesus.. Amen...

Valentine's Day for the ladies..

Valentine's Day.. hmm.. can't remember the last time we celebrated it.. with hubby I mean.. I don't really mind geh lar.. I rather he remembered our wedding anniversaries and our birthdays.. Especially my children's birthdays.. because I gave birth to them and the experience was amazing.. 

He was there for both of my delivery.. even though when I had Melissa, I had to wait for him to come to the hospital while he went home to see how Alexander was doing with my in laws.. waited for about 20-30min.. wah.. sakit oh.. :P Thank God he made it in time and it was not a problem for our baby.. phew.. 

For the ladies out there, it's ok if your man do not celebrate Valentine's day.. celebrate everyday together or some other really special day just for the two of you.. Don't expect too much from your man, expect what is needed to be expected and not over expect.. like being responsible, faithful, caring etc.. And, this is very important.. if you want or like something to be done by your guy, JUST TELL HIM. Don't get up set or angry because he cannot read your mind! ahhahaha.. sounds familiar ler.. I know what most of you are thinking coz I am a women too and was a young girl before.. I know we can be expecting a lot from a guy but the wise thing to do is not. Just expect what is needed and not what we wanted. 

Think about it, you really want a guy who knows what you feel like having? know how you feel? read your mind? know you expectations every time? really meh?? there's no such ideal man.. (may be got lar but how long can that guy do that?) we all will grow differently as we grow in our character, career, family life, emotionally, spiritual etc.. and now perhaps he knows everything about you but for how long? after 5 year? 10 year? 20 year? would you still be the same? or would he still be the same? i think not.. As a couple, we need to grow to understand each other and stop expecting unreasonable request. Especially us ladies.. You may think I am silly and weak (or a stronger word, stupid or dumb to take the guys side..) no I am not.. I am just saying be reasonable and understanding.. Your man is not superman! even Superman have weaknesses and limitations.. 

I did mentioned that we all grow and we will change.. doesn't mean you go and look for other compatible partners after you are married ah..  always stay faithful.. When we grow, allow your man to grow together with you, especially spiritually.. Let your priority in life be the same and be in line so that both of you can focus on what is important in life.. GROW together but don't expect the person to know everything.. Only Jesus knows you inside and out and things that you don't even know about yourselves.. Only Jesus can be the perfect man for us ladies.. so don't expect our worldly man to be as perfect as Jesus.. we will only be disappointed.. 

So this Valentine's day, be reasonable ladies.. and for the guys.. don't be lazy, show love and care to your girl every time you have the chance to.. don't give me "I-have-no-time-lame-excuse". MAKE TIME! It need not be on a Valentine's day, like I said, it can be any day or everyday or even that one special meaningful day for the both of you..   

Listen

I just realized.. When we are talking or chatting with our family and friends.. Are we listening closely to what they are saying? When we listen, what is our focus? Do we focus on what the words used? The feeling? The negative or positive part of their stories?body language Etc..

I realized that there's another type of listening.. When our focus is on their hearts, tuning in every emotions, desire and even intentions.. What are they actually trying to tell us through their stories n worries n circumstances.. When we take time to care and think for a moment the condition of their hearts n souls we will begin to truly hear what they are really trying to say..

Let us listen closely...

Heart broken

Really heart broken to hear of the death of a child so young.. Any young child for that matter, be it a 12 year old, a 6 year old or an unborn child.. It's just heart breaking!

Worst that it was caused by some inhumane human being!? Why do you have to kill this poor young boy? Have you no conscious? No heart? No BRAIN!!! Yes, the parent made a mistake but they don't deserve to loose their son.. Period!! You have no right to take his life! No one has the right! Aaaagggrrrr!!!

Then a scary thought, what will William's parent do should the perpetrator confessed and asked for forgiveness now?? Ahhhhhhhh!!!!!! He/she will be almost impossible to get that forgiveness!! God asked us to slow in anger and quick to forgive.. Haih.. Hard.. Really hard.. I don't think I could just forgive as easy as I got so worked up in this case.. It's just too much to bare for a mother, for any parent for that matter lor.. May God's grace be upon all of us..

Every time we hear about these cases happening in our country and close to our homes, frightens us.. Our world was not like this right?? I use to be able to walk to school alone!? I use to feel safe as a child playing at the Taman few blocks from my frens house! I use to go to the river and spend time there for hours alone and still feel safe! Where has that world gone to?? Can you tell me where? We as parents cannot be ignorant or arrogant.. Thinking that the world today is the same as it was before.. No no no absolutely not.. We want our children to be safe but not without boundaries.. We can't just have them running around without supervision.. It's a dangerous world out there.. One that they will either face it when they are young and not ready or when they are older, hopefully equip.. We need to protect them especially when they are young.. When they grow to be a teen.. Continue to do so because they are not out of the woods just yet.. We cannot give up on them even when they rebel.. Hang in their parents!!! If you have done all that you can to love, give and teach your children on the right path and still they wanna go their own ways.. Let us all pray.. That they will return to you with a loving heart soon and stop breaking yours.. (Dunno how from a lost of a young child to teens wanting to rebel..)

Cherish life children, cherish your parents, your brothers and sisters, grandparents, uncles n aunties.. I dun need to remind parents to cherish their children.. Coz most parents love them to bits already.. But for us parents.. Teach our children to live,love,last.. "Live a life filled with Love that will Last."

Let us offer a short prayer for William's family.. My love and prayer goes out to those whom have lost a child before. May you find comfort and peace during this trying times.. In Jesus name, Amen..