A Soldiers Prayer

We are all Soldiers of God.. we go into battles that we believe for wht we stand for. Not just for a country or the safety of our family but for a Kingdom that last forever. We wished that there would be no war, not war on earth no war anywhere, no more death no more good byes..

But the spiritual battle in everyone of us, we must go through.. the war between good and evil will never end.. until Jesus comes again.. Those smiles from our loved ones are like the fulfillment of our hearts when we enter heaven one day.. as we are in the battle field the only place we wanna be is home.. and where God is, there is where we call home..

When our flight is over and we meet Him face to face,
Our Heavenly Father will tell us,
that He is proud that we ran a good race.
He will give us a hug and and gentle kiss on the cheek,
and the best thing of all,
He'll wishper...
"Welcome home my child, you are now at peace."

"you never gave up, when things went so wrong.
you never back down, from troubles and mourns.
you stand for truth and righteousness in My Kingdom
you forgive and make peace so you may lead them"

"you've run a good race that I am proud of
you've stand your ground, rooted with my wisdom
you've show the world that I love them too
as you showed your love as I have loved you."

Among faith, hope and love; the greatest is Love
show it and give it to all that deserves
the hardest lesson one could ever know
Is to love so much that it hurt our soul

yet God ask us to love unconditionally
expecting nothing, not even a candy
it hurst so much when another doesn't love back..
but know that Jesus also went through that

What love got to do about the war or the battle?
i think because we always struggle
To love or not to love; to forgive or not to forgive?
The answer? You know what it is...

Verbs about my relationship with God:

Love
When I die, I hope my tomb stone would write

“Jesus loves you. Yea you! I’m talking to you. Yea! You standing in front of my tomb stone!”

LOL.. One of the hardest act of grace and kindness is to Love.. When we forgive, we love.. When we let go, we love.. When we obey, we love.. When we sacrifice, we love.. When just listen, we love.. When we strife (for someone), we love.. When we pray, we love.. When we care, we love.. When we persevere, we love.. When we give, we love.. When we endure, we love.. When we trust, we love.. When we leave the men alone when they are not thinking about anything, we love :D We tries to understand (even if we really don’t), we love..

Passionate
I am passionate about many things.. but the most important is not things at all.. they are ppl in my life.. that made a difference in my whole being.. Passion for Jesus that I live my live according (as much as I could) to His word.. in hope that when we meet face to face He will say to me,

“You have run a great race, Susana Magdalene! I’m proud of you, my anak (LOL)! Come and join me.” ..

Jesus drives me! His promises provokes me! His love moved me! His life, inspire me! His spirit, transformed me! Passion for the things Christ called me to do.. Anything he calls me to do.. to choose Him first and I mean first was the hardest act of passion yet filled with conviction and determination, I choose Jesus..

Compassionate
Because I’m such an emotional person… my weakness as well as my strength I suppose.. I have compassion for my family that I pray and consider them the closest people that could know me inside out.. in hope that one day I will see them together in the place where God is in eternity.. family does not mean only blood related, friends who are closer than my own blood, they are family to me.. In my heart and spirit, I always have compassion for troubled teens coz I was a troubled teen too.. I know I can be a miracle for someone someday… (nightmare for others.. akakakaka.. all in the line fo duty!) as I believe I am called to be.. a nightmare… NO LAR!!!!!~~ akakakaka…. may be a nobody to the world, but somebody to you.. (Yea you! I’m talking to you! Yea you reading this post :P)

Inspirational
God is such an inspiration tomy life that I can’t stop learning and growing (in tears and joy) in His presence and in everything that I do.. daily! God is in everything I do.. In His word, in the music that I hear, in the smiles of my darlings, in the lives of friends and the struggles of teenagers, etc. He inspire me to be better, to see with His heart and not with my own eyes.. (sometimes I wish I don't coz then I feel I know too much.. knowing doesn't make us wise… is when we execute the knowledge in God’s Spirit that knowledge becomes wisdom.) To understand people around me even when I don’t, To feel wht He feels, to know what He knows.. especially what is in God’s heart..

Transforming
How can someone say that they love Jesus but their lives did not change at all!? Where got such thing? Nonsense! A life without transformation is a live without Jesus.. (Don’t persecute me when I say that, please..) If our lives is not changed then something is truly wrong! Either (I dun wanna way it) or we did not love Jesus enough to let go of our OLD self, our old ways, our old mind set/thinking? Make sense?

Re 2:21 I gave her time to repent, but she would not turn away from her immorality.

Look at the lives of all who have been touched by God.. Not one is not transformed.. none.. Many dunno how I was transformed because many thought that I was always nice.. I am nice (i think but just being nice ain't gonna make me who I am today).. and insecure, confuse, indecisive, naive, paranoid, hot tempered, emotional and much more.. but God gave me confidence, gave me hope and strength and joy.. Most of all His love and life on the cross.. how can anyone be the same again..

“Jesus loves you! Yea! YOU!!!”

"No arms, No legs, No worries!" -- Nick Vujicic

What God can do with out weaknesses.. Amazing things.. God does not look at our ability... but our availability... watch until the end... Dun just because it loads too slow you give up... the end may be the most important part you need to see... but alas... we sometimes give up half way,,,

DON"T GIVE UP!!!

Be Encouraged....

Mercy Me - Homesick (Live)

You're in a better place, I've heard a thousand times
And at least a thousand times I've rejoiced for you
But the reason why I'm broken, the reason why I cry
Is how long must I wait to be with you

I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now

Help me Lord cause I don't understand your ways
The reason why I wonder if I'll ever know
But, even if you showed me, the hurt would be the same
Cause I'm still here so far away from home

I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now

In Christ, there are no goodbye
And in Christ, there is no end
So I'll hold onto Jesus with all that I have
To see you again
To see you again

And I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow

I've never been more homesick than now

"Would they love Him down in Sherveport" George Jones

If they saw Him riding in, long hair flying in the wind,

Would they love Him down in Shreveport today?

If they heard He was a Jew and a Palestinian too,

Would they love Him down in Nashville today?

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If they saw Him talk with ease To the junkies, whores, and thieves,

Would they love Him out in Wichita today?

Would the rich men think it funny

If He said give up your money?

Would they love Him up on Wall Street today?

~~~~~

If He made the wine from water,

Gave it to their sons and daughters,

What would the folks in Salt Lake City say?

If He talked of brotherhood

As He walked their neighborhoods,

Would they love Him up in Boston today?

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Oh, If He said love those who use you,

And forgive those who abuse you,

If He turned the other cheek, what would you say?

Would you laugh and call Him crazy,

And just send Him on his way,

If He walked right into your town today?

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Would you laugh and call Him crazy,

And just send Him on his way,

If He walked right into your town today?

Really spoke to me today... if really Jesus were to walk into our church... would we recognize him? or would we call him a lunatic? crazy? stupid? or Lord,? King of Kings? Saviour?

Could we relate to him in today's world? where so many things have changed? yet in truth.. it's not very much different from His time... right? Dun you think so? We judge people as if they can never change... with ppl like us may be not.. but with Jesus they could... over-night!

why?

Not because Jesus is handsome, popular or rich... but perhaps He has the most radiant smile, a smile that accept who ever he lay eyes on; Popular in bringing ppl back to God with His love, Mercy and Grace; Rich in love and compassion for the ppl that he doesn't mind being with...

Yup.. I truly hope we could relate to him.. not becoming the world but becoming like him.. He may sit with the sinners but He is not one of them.. he may talk to the addicts, whores and thieves but He is not one of them..

So, on one side.. please dun forsake the lost, the poor and the needy... on the other hand, please dun be like the sinners... be like Jesus... Do the right thing and still treat everyone with Love, Mercy and Forgiveness..

What is happening to the world..

Was watching Majalah 3 just now.. they were reporting bout the earth quake incident in Indonesia. It's such a tragedy... I can't help but cry..

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Families without a house to call home; children became orphans in one day; parents looses their children and spouses; people was tramped and survived for 4 days before being found died etc..

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So much pain; so much sufferings! And yet not only we ignore it! we never lift a finger to do anything! (what could we do? besides send money over?) For one... we can pray.. (yea right, like it's gonna make any difference?like it's really going to help them ease the pain? what for? it's just an easy way out to make ourselves feel better... useless one lar..) NO! I refuse to to believe that God will take our prayers and flush it down the drain! It's a lie that prayer is useless to those far away! It's a lie that our prayer could never make a difference!!!! It's all lies!!!!

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Have you ever heard the land cry out for hope!!!!?? For life!!!?? For miracle to happen!!!??? The land is crying.. so many of them are crying... and only God could ease the pain.. Only God could show them the way for hope... only God.

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Even though this post may came in a little late for it's been a week or more all the flood, earth quake had happened... but it's never too late to start praying....

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Suppose to pray today with the youth... alas.. I didn't do it.. I could be so forgetful some times... i should have write it down... hmm.. I will! write a prayer list for us to pray for this week!!!? ya.. let's do it!!!

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Lord, we want to see what you see. We want to feel what you feel. Break our hearts for what breaks yours, so that we may understand your way and your will... Amen..

I have news for you...

.. I am pregnant.. so bare with me :D

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Yup! I'm about 7 weeks pregnant... please dun ask me if I wish for a boy or a girl... I'll have any gender God decides to bless me with.. dun mind having another boy or having a girl would also be nice.. i know Nigel would like to have a girl and I have prayed to have a girl also ( long time ago...) :D

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So it's really up to God to bless us with another boy or a girl this time.. You can never guess when is my expected due date... I am amazed myself... ahahahaha.. it's on 23rd May 2010... Yup!!! On my birthday!!! akakakaka... what a great present ei?!! Normally for natural birth it wouldn't be so precise one lar.. but then it's funny to know that the EDD is on my birthday.. akekekeke..

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I'm sure you have some questions for me.. Am I ready? How am I feeling? How's Nigel going to cope? etc? work ler?

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I am ready to have another child.. not becuase i'm not the one taking care of them at home.. (i dun mind staying at home by the way.. no problem being a stay at home mom..) But i need to work outside since hubby is working at home and he could take care of the children while i'm out at work.. I'm glad that I'm getting a second blessing.. just wished my mom could be here to lend a listening ear...

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I feel great!! having know that I am Pregnant.. i know it's a bit early.. My son is not even 1 yar old yet and now I'm pregnant.. but if I want to have more kids I think I should have them a bit ealier.. I'm not getting any younger you know :P that's my emotional state but my physical state is not so good... the nauses every morning and evening is really bad... i'm continue to pray that I will have wisdom to take the right food so I wouldn't get too sick.. i feel tired easily.. and get up really late... (Thank God Alexander will still continue to sleep when we dun get up so early).

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I know Nigel will be able to handle things when it comes... he is always more composed and calm when doing anything... I need that in a man.. he has his day out with frens too once a while so it's all good..

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Work has been alright for now.. I just wished i could feel much better to do a better job and not take leave so much... but wht to do.. the spirit is willing but the body is weak.. must take care of our body.. As for ministry, I still see a lot that needs to be done.. but like I always say.. their individual growth is what God is really after... they personal relationship with Jesus and among the brothers and sisters in Christ is really what matters and are they bearing good fruits or not, is what we the mentors need to focus on... Young Ppl will always be my first calling and a long term one.. (unless God ask me to do something else...... nah... not a chance.... aaahahahahaha.... at least not now...)