God's will be done (mar..)

Taking a break from ministry is not as easy as I thought.. my mind still wonders to those that I care but doesn't want my care.. My heart still aches when they aches and my soul cannot rest when i know they face with troubles.. but I know I need to let go and let God.. 

Even during the Sabbath Jesus continues to do good and heal people, did miracles and you know what He thinks about doing good during our rest time? He thinks it's a great idea :) and even though I am not in my usual time and place to comfort, pray or even speak into someone's life.. I am living my calling for those who needed me. I still need to put my priorities straight because this is the time where I must seek God more than people; but it seems that I see more people in need than me needing God? rather than me getting someone to minister to me, I get to minister people.. And not that my family or friends is not supportive, it's just that I realized, what Jesus must have been thinking when he faced this same predicament..  

I mean there was time He needed to be alone; there was time He needed to rest and there was time He wanted to just "Lord, please take away this cup..." and yet in the end, He pull through all emotional barriers and physical challenges. We all know Jesus is God, but He is not without emotional and physical limits ya know.. He really really pull through by knowing what is more important to the Father and continue to obey Him.. Jesus knows the value of people, yes, even those that does not appreciate Him, (or worst! those that crucified Him!) those that mock Him, those that walk away from Him etc.. Jesus still loves them and He heals them, cared for them and in the end died for them.. 

Why do I use the word them when I could well be one of ''them"? Because I feel I am in Jesus shoe this time (or perhaps He is in my shoe? because He is telling me that He knows.. He knows how it feels like bring me right now.. He knows what I am going through right now.. He absolutely understands without a doubt, why i feel how I feel right now..) It is as if, Jesus put me in His shoe and opened my eyes to see, to feel and to understand that He went through far worst.. T.T I am sure in some point of my life I have been like "them".. but as far as I could remember, I tried to live without being like 'them'.. I gave it my best to not break Jesus's heart.. but my heart keeps breaking, and no time for me to heal property.. thus, my resting season is here now.. but Jesus didn't had time also, so many people need healing and need ministering.. yet with all the craziness, He will take time to pray.. and then continue to minister another day.. :) 

I should rest, get my priorities straighten out and continue to do good.. I said before, "Here I am Lord, use me." Now I am saying "I am still here Lord, use me."

Have problem sleeping? Listen to this...

Brush your teeth, turned off the lights, as you lay in your bed, close your eyes and listen to this.. May it be your sweet prayer to the Lord tonight.. Sweet dreams dears... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yvY6D34eRhY

When I was in my teen, I attended a youth group in Likas, Kota Kinabalu, Sabah. I don't get the teaching because it was in mandarin and my mandarin sucks, big time. But some how I felt God's peace and presence the minute I sat in the van that fetched me to the evening youth service.. Starts about 7pm or 730pm if I'm not mistaken.. 

There was one time, I had been missing youth meeting for a long while, for some reason, I called up and told them I will be going on that particular Saturday. As the van drove closer and the minute I sat down, I can feel God's overwhelming presence.. My eyes was watery and I cannot explain what I felt inside but it was beautiful and I could cry my sorrow away silently.. no one in the van knew I cried, no one bothered I guess but I knew God know.. because He was with me that day, in the van, waiting for me to go see him.. 

But I knew now that He was all along with me, He knew why I have been troubled and in sorrow.. He was there when things went wrong and I faced challenges that was beyond me.. He was there when I tried to be strong for my family and friends; He was there when I life lift me up and throw me down and I shattered like an egg on the hard floor.. He was there always.. But I was not aware of His presence... Until I decided to sit down and be with Him...

Now, I can't say that I always feel His presence 24/7 but I know, I really know, that He is there always.. the difference is that I will try my best to remind myself that "Hey, Jesus is here.. Don't worry. Do your best and He will handle the rest. His presence is here. His love and grace is here. He Is Here.." 

The song As the Deer (the normal version) , touched my spirit so deeply during one of the youth meetings in my teens that even though we keep repeating the song the whole night, I didn't get bored with it.. it just ministered to me and I could see myself exactly like the deer, thirsting for water.. wanting to drink from the living water, the provider of life and giver of all things good.. It was beautiful and it was never the same again when we sang the same song now.. The song has always reminded me of this moment.. the moment that I could only explain it through the senses of my spirit and my heart; logic nor wisdom cannot make sense of. 

Seek good, not evil, that you may live. Then the Lord God Almighty will be with you, just as you say he is. Hate evil, love good; maintain justice in the courts.

—Amos 5:14-15

First Sunday of the year..

It was a a great start for this first Sunday of the year!! Because I get to do the most important thing for the year..

First, was to worship my God in our yearly New life combined meeting at Sime Darby convention center! Went to the kids service to company my children.. The service was chaotic! But overall was great with good games, good message and good teachers.. They did very well, just that all the kids combined like that is really a huge task. Anything can go wrong geh lor.. So kudos to the Shah Alam children service team today!!! Thank you so much for your time and effort!! The children and some of their parents, really enjoyed it..

Then after the service, we drove down to meet my SIL, nephew and dad.. We had lunch and a good short catch up with everyone.. My dad drove his new motorbike down and when he reached home he texted me, told me it was great to meet up the pass few days...(met him up for dinner on Friday) my nephew even gave my son one of his old toys.. A transformer :) plan to msg them after this to make sure they reached home at Hanoi safely.. 

Then, our last important stop was back to Seremban! One of my kids fav place to visit and tht is to see their other grandparents, my in laws.. My kids always enjoys going there.. My in laws loves my kids very much.. Today I help then clean a bit here and there... And they blessed us with a nice dinner and stuffs to bring home to KL.. 

Indeed today was a blessed day, I am filled with gratitude an thanks giving :) thank you Jesus for the hope we have in you.. You are the best,.