Monday, January 9, 2012

So much on my mind right now..

How I miss writting and updating my blog.. I need to find time to do the things I want to do besides working my butt of everyday!!! Since GI came into my life.. it has created a lot of problems in my personal life.. perhaps it is becuase I take it really seriously this time.. I really work hard and did much more then my previous jobs.. I really like to work for a prestige company such as GI.. but after 3 months of hard work.. I'm not sure if it's going to pay off.. :( I am sooo stressed out that it shows.. ON MY FACE!!! Still.. not many knows that I am stuggling with this, not tt i'm not honest about it.. it's just that it's work.. everyone goes through it, right? and we all need to work on it... but i think.. God is teaching me something.. that I cannot rely on my job to provide for me and my family.. I must rely solely on Him.. I must put in more time to really proclaim His peace and joy, love and grace upon my life.. I want to put in quality time being in His presence and Doing His will.. I want to do what really matters to God.. My priority is the same.. it has not change..

A lot on my mind.. God, my family, my youths, my career, my friends etc.. so much to think about? That's what you get from a Melancholic person.. LOL.. Think too much sometimes.. but it is becuase I care so much, that is why I think about everyone.. Especially my youths.. especially recently.. I am so glad that each and everyone of them is in my life.. their courage, commitment and effort reminds me of God's goodness.. I don't deserve the love of these young ones because many have left me before that I do not dare to ask for more, and I can still feel the pain.. I hold no grudges, I hold no unforgiveness.. just sadness as I have to expect and must understand that people leave and move on else where, especially in my ministry.. still it doesn't mean I don't feel anything.. But when I know that they are doing well else where, doing what is God asking them to do and fullfilling God's calling upon their lives.. I am actually rejoicing for God's faithfullness and goodness! They may not think of me anymore but My Lord! you are still soreign!!! ahahaha I can really put them into your hands and You will take good care of them.. (the fact that they are not YET back with Christ doesn't mean God is not doing anything ok? I know God is doing amazing things in their lives.. I just know it!)

I am excited for 2012! with load sof challenges to overcome this year!!! I am a bit scared to be honest.. last week My darling Melissa fell and had to go for stiches on her forehead.. a 45min Operation and stayed overnight in the hospital for obvervation some more ler.. scary and heart breaking situation.. I still praise the Lord that Melissa was all good during the ordeal (except when we forced her to put on the bandage or have to take her temperature or poke the niddle into her blood vassel. That.. she was screaming..) She is fine but will leave a scare on her forehead.. I pray that there will not be any intellectual, emotional and physical damage.. The scares will heal and I believe it can be smoothen and invisible.. :D (Thank God I just got her insurance few months ago.. the bill will cost us a Bomb!!!)

Coming back to my job or career? I leave it in God's hands right now.. Like I always say.. Let me do my best and let God help me do the rest.. Thank you Jesus for making us into overcomers..

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