Alexander enjoying a banan cup cake :D

Alexander having his banana cup cake at Kenny Roger's ahehehee.. i know that's not how one should take/eat a cup cake but that's how he does it.. even biscuits.. he would not eat it like how normal ppl would it it..i mean ppl would eat a biscuit flat.. but Alexander will eat it vertically..

Alexander really enjoys the cup cake :D

Accept - The Secret of a Good Marriege

A= Attraction
C= Communication
C= Commitment
E= Enjoyment
P= Purpose
T= Trust

Woke up crying a little..

I had either a nightmare or a dream... I'm still not sure.. but I think God just took me to how Khai Sing might have been feeling the pass few days when she had to rush she way to Australia for her further studies within 2 weeks... Even for Jerrica, who both I didn't celebrate their farewell coz it's rather heart breaking to see them leave..

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I dreamt that I had to go to Europe for further studies!! and I wasn't pregnant in my dream and I hasn't married to Nigel yet.. Really as if I'm Khai Sing.. Single and available and in such a rush!!! haiyo... and nothing is going well as i start to pack my things.. The last thing i remembered was packing my pillows :P which was the first thing I packed LOL.. then i tot about my camera, yet it's not mine actually, it's Nigel's... I dun want to take his things over and then he can't used it to take our son's photos.. Then it hit me... LOL.. "Ei.. I'm married, have a toddler to take care of and pregnant.. cannot go further study one lar.. YEA!!!!"" ahahaha there was a sense of relieved!!! I tell u... phew~~

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But really knew how Khai Sing must have felt during those days of rushing and trying to finish up the things she needed to do.. I'm going to miss her a lot.. Couldn't say to her (for now), "Oi.. coming for Sunday Service or not this week?" " This week cg got dinner ah.. you free to come?" " Ei! I got you something lar today, when I see you?" etc... till you come home again Khai Sing.. okie? I understand how u feel right now.. excited and yet sad to go.. coz there's so many ppl here that you're gonna miss..

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Reminded me of how I had to rush to come over to Selangor to study almost 10 years or so ago.. in about 2 weeks also.. At least Khai Sing is going with a fren :) hopefully she will not be abandon or abandon her fren..

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I pray that during this time away from home, Khai Sing will find God again.. and this time she will be drawn closer, more personal and intimate with God. Just like how I've truly came to know Christ during these time away from home... It will be hard and yet full of life changing experience.. One thing I've learn from the stress of studies and the time away from home.. is to HONOR God and God will honor you.. seeing God's and His spirits moved and worked in me is a miracle in itself.. my transformation is so huge that no one could even understand the difference as it happened by stages and in the different time of my life..

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Having real and loving relationship is hard especially when one have to leave.. even for a youth leader like me whom you may think it's pretty normal to see her 'children' go and grow up.. Not as easy as all of u may think.. I put my heart and soul to my young ones and when they leave, they bring a small part of my heart along with them.. Soon, another will go.. even though there were others who went before them... each of them brings a small part of my life together with them.. I will and am missing them where ever they are...

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But I shall pray and think of them as much as I could with the time that I have..

Big Daddy and Alexander..

This was taken during our reunion dinner.. We came a bit late so we didn't get to sit with other relatives.. we sit together as the whole family of 6.5 of us.. :D..

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Alexander's outfit was given by Grandma Betty... cute ler... ahahaha.. Lion is also a type of CAT which is also from the Tiger family.. so it really is a suitable occasion to wear it tt night since it is the year of the Tiger now..

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Alexander was very well behaved that night.. (only that night..) as he was entertained by many stage shows, ppl singing, dancers and magic tricks etc..

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The dish was wonderful and nice.. I love the "Lou Yee Sang"... i didn't eat the raw fish though.. but love the sweetness of the rest of the dish... hmm... yummy...

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OOohhh... btw.. will up load our family photo later.. The Toh Family portrait, which I was wishing to take few days ago.. lol.. didn't know alst min we can go back to Seremban again and took the opportunity to have dinner again with my in law and took a family potriat.. LOL.. What a wish come true ei?? :D happy happy..

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Will have to up load it later coz copying videos right now and it's taking really long time to load these videos into the hard drive...

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Time really flies when we are having a good time... haih.. today is my last CNY holiday and i'm resting at home.. cleaning up and planning for Worship practice, CPY CNY Visitation and tomorrow work lar!!..

CNY...

Happy Chinese New Year!!!

Wished we had taken a family photo this year.. haih.. I think we have been too rush for everything that we missed out doing tt :(

This year my sister in law, Madeline and hubby, Ernie are back from Boston for CNY.. Haih.. really wished that we have taken a family pic.. perhaps one day soon lar..

We had a good reunion dinner with much entertainments and good food.. Thank you to Uncle Beng Hong.. (Nigel's uncle).. Also for all the ang pau for Alexander.. Thank you so much for all family members who have bless Alexander with a Red Blessing..

My experience with online purchase...

I'm so glad to have received 1/3 of my online order on Tuesday night :D Seems like ages ago.. ahahahaha..

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This is the first time i order products online and it was a pleasant experience I suppose..

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Especially now a days many ppl tend to purchase products online, I think I should try out buying some stuffs online too.. Eventually.. I may also start to sell online like Nigel.. :D That's my plan lar.. Unless Corbis have more opportunities for me :P (My managers reads my blog btw.. ahahahha... and I'm always honest about my thoughts I suppose... Being honest is not the best policy.. It's the ONLY policy! Again.. Being honest doesn't mean we say everything tt comes into our mind.. wisdom is also needed..)

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Share with you the things i got on my first parcel received..

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I'm reading this at this moment as well as "The power of a praying wife" and this book about "Leading" is really easy and straight forward.. John C. Maxwell are well known for his books on leadership so I really would like to suggest to some of my frens out there who wants to be a good leader.. not just in a ministry (as this one speaks of leading in a youth group) but also in everything else.. the principle are some what similar.. :)

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Obviously, this book is for my son, Alexander :D I let him flip the book as I tried to read to him.. ahahaha but he was flipping it too fast I didn't not manage to finish reading the stories so end up just talking to him about the pictures as he continues to flip...

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Max Lucado!! Another good writter that I admire becuase his writting skills are very personal and very close to heart... He could write the heart and voice of Jesus so tengibly that when you are reading his work, you are actually in it and experiencing it youself.. I wonder who's the blessed soul whom I will give this too.. lol..

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This is the most expensive item in my first order... not just this parcel.. it includes the items in my next parcel also.. and among the items i ordered.. this one the most expensive one... and I really liked it.. Ahahaha.. And before I've decided to invest into this, I've already thought of someone to give it too.. :D Do you know who??~~~

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I thought this was a book... mana tau this is a DVD ahahaha.. good also lar.. then I can go though it with Nigel ke :P since he dun really read and loves to watch TV... this would be very suitable for the both of us.. akekekeke.. (Right honey??)

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Hard cover ler... and it's really nice... but i haven't started reading it yet.. so.. i will share with you all should 1) i have read it 2) i got the time to blog about it :D thanks for understanding!!! lol

My childhood CNY..

Come to remember my childhood CNY... I remembered some really good times where I spent it at Tawau where my grandparents were and many of my mom's siblings went back to celebrate the new year there together.. I was really younger then..

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When I was older.. becuase we were very poor.. we basically avoided celebrating CNY with other ppl.. which means we dun get to go visits to receive ang pau, so my mom need not give any either.. When I mean poor.. I mean poor.. where food has always been a problem and my mother struggle to meet ends meat every month and even weeks..

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My mom had to work a few jobs a day just to get by and I as forced to stay home alone.. locked up everyday after school... Thank God I have been kept safe with no major incidents..

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Every CNY, my mom would go to this supermarket where we would buy some CNY food stuff and for me it was something really luxurious... and every year i see many ppl buying loads of goodies where we could only afford some can food, dried persimmons (my fav!!! still love em'), some fruits and may be some crackers.. that's it.. Then, I had a wish... :) I still remembered and it was a small prayer in my heart.. that one day, we'll have a basket FULL of things!! a trolley full of goodies and food to bring home.. FULL!!! I thought it was silly then.. ahehehe.. what I dream I thought, but smiled when I thought about this silly dream of mine..

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But now.. remembering back.. I'm living my dream, trolley full of goodies and food for my family.. I'm so fortunate, I'm so blessed.. God heard my prayer then.. my little small voice reached His heart and He made it possible...

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CNY is near... and I can't wait to bless others with hope.. I could only afford to give that much but believe me... God has more than The God of prosperity or even Santa Clause :D

1 year ago today...

I thought I would loose myself to this madness... I thought I would never recover..
I thought I would be a different person all together..

I thought the pain will kill me slowly.. I thought the lost would left me wounded for life..
I thought the hurt will never end till the day I die..

I thought wrong...

I'm not as strong as I thought I could be.. that's why I found that Jesus is always with me..
I'm not that logic when it comes to emotional pain.. that's why God's love surrounded me then..
I'm not that good at pretending everything is well.. that's why God's people always there still..
I'm not alone.. I know.. because God almighty are always there as He said, "Peace, be still."

A year ago today, my mother took her last breath, as I lay next to her bed and saw her slowly drifted away... She was in much pain, she was in much agony, but I know now that she is with the Lord Almighty..

I sometimes still cries when ever I think of her... especially before I go to sleep or even in the shower.. it is the only time perhaps that's what I think.. that I could cry and let my tear drip...

I miss her dearly, so much so to have her handphone number still in my address book.. I still wonder when will I have the courage to press the delete button... No, I'm not crazy and I'm not going to call.. Just having the number there.. reminds me of her good soul... I will eventually delete it perhaps when I do I will show my children too.. How I miss their grandmother and hope they will too.. They may not know her, but I'm sure she would love to.. may be one day when we are all 'Home" again.. we'll have a loads of time to make amends...

I miss you mom...