Woke up crying a little..

I had either a nightmare or a dream... I'm still not sure.. but I think God just took me to how Khai Sing might have been feeling the pass few days when she had to rush she way to Australia for her further studies within 2 weeks... Even for Jerrica, who both I didn't celebrate their farewell coz it's rather heart breaking to see them leave..

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I dreamt that I had to go to Europe for further studies!! and I wasn't pregnant in my dream and I hasn't married to Nigel yet.. Really as if I'm Khai Sing.. Single and available and in such a rush!!! haiyo... and nothing is going well as i start to pack my things.. The last thing i remembered was packing my pillows :P which was the first thing I packed LOL.. then i tot about my camera, yet it's not mine actually, it's Nigel's... I dun want to take his things over and then he can't used it to take our son's photos.. Then it hit me... LOL.. "Ei.. I'm married, have a toddler to take care of and pregnant.. cannot go further study one lar.. YEA!!!!"" ahahaha there was a sense of relieved!!! I tell u... phew~~

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But really knew how Khai Sing must have felt during those days of rushing and trying to finish up the things she needed to do.. I'm going to miss her a lot.. Couldn't say to her (for now), "Oi.. coming for Sunday Service or not this week?" " This week cg got dinner ah.. you free to come?" " Ei! I got you something lar today, when I see you?" etc... till you come home again Khai Sing.. okie? I understand how u feel right now.. excited and yet sad to go.. coz there's so many ppl here that you're gonna miss..

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Reminded me of how I had to rush to come over to Selangor to study almost 10 years or so ago.. in about 2 weeks also.. At least Khai Sing is going with a fren :) hopefully she will not be abandon or abandon her fren..

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I pray that during this time away from home, Khai Sing will find God again.. and this time she will be drawn closer, more personal and intimate with God. Just like how I've truly came to know Christ during these time away from home... It will be hard and yet full of life changing experience.. One thing I've learn from the stress of studies and the time away from home.. is to HONOR God and God will honor you.. seeing God's and His spirits moved and worked in me is a miracle in itself.. my transformation is so huge that no one could even understand the difference as it happened by stages and in the different time of my life..

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Having real and loving relationship is hard especially when one have to leave.. even for a youth leader like me whom you may think it's pretty normal to see her 'children' go and grow up.. Not as easy as all of u may think.. I put my heart and soul to my young ones and when they leave, they bring a small part of my heart along with them.. Soon, another will go.. even though there were others who went before them... each of them brings a small part of my life together with them.. I will and am missing them where ever they are...

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But I shall pray and think of them as much as I could with the time that I have..