What I feel right now...

Honesty is a very expensive gift. Don't expect it from cheap people. -- Warren Buffet

Awaken..

I was awaken by a splitting head ache.. And many time when I am awaken in the middle of the night and can't go back to sleep quick.. There's something God wants me to pray or think about.. And sure enough, I found 2 very strong impression in my mind that I know I must do later today..

God always have His purpose He always brings us trough tough times and allow us to check our hearts and spirit.. Even when others don't know you, Jesus knows you and when we pray according to His will, His will shall be make known to man.. No one may support the idea now and eventually when things happen, others don't remember that it was already fore told..

I wonder, what lies ahead for your servant oh Lord.. I know You will not forsake me because You have showed me your favor when some would not.. Your will be done on earth as it is in Heaven.. I hope I am right to do what I am about to do.. May your peace guide my path of a true servant and a good steward.

Weird dream...

I had a weird dream that I remembered this morning.. It was a very 'Kan cheong' moment, like the movie '2012' or 'Independence Day' etc.. A dream about survival and the end of world kinda dream.. So I manage to escape an earth quake said to destroy earth or at tht time a place where I lived with my family..

In my dream, Nigel n my children does not exists.. I remembered making it with another person but it was not my brother, it was someone else close to me, a close family friend or a relative, I can't really remember her-I know it's a her lar.. Then I remembered a police women (very pretty and young) do not allow us to go trough because it was too dangerous, but I and my friend managed to find a way through it and went looking for my mom so I could bring her to safety, my brother was with her too.. But during that journey I could not find her, no one at her place knew where she was.. I was in despair but I am not giving so easily!

Then, I made the second trip down and people that I talked to keep telling me 'your mom is back, your mom is back!' So I rushed to where she and my brother should be and saw a bath tub with clean water in a room ( don't ask me why coz it's not logical.. Dreams are sometimes not logical..) then next to it I saw my mom lying there looking a little dirty.. Not with mud or rags but just feel like she have been out for a long time without a bath.. 

Then the moment we see each other, she started to cry and I remembered as if I said to her 'don't cry, you are safe now, you are going to be alright.' Then we got her up and going out... Dream ended..

I am not sure yet what it all means.. But my mom has passed 5 years (next year Feb) ago.. 

And 5 years ago today (or during this time of the year) she came and stayed with me for my confinement.. 

Photo Time with Magnum Mini at Publika..

This was like few weeks ago in Publika.. We had fun taking photos here.. hahaaha... a bit weird when other people are watching but hey, after the photo session, we get a free Magnum Mini, what more do you want? haha.. The decoration and setting is really really nice.. I like it.. I took one with my son on Saturday when I went to Publika to meet up with my Corbis Gals, and another day, well a normal working day lunch time with my friend Rachel.. It was not exciting fun but it was fun :)

My Son is like going to eat the ice cream.. hehehe...

 hmmm... Magnum Mini... nice.. lol

Come Publika once a while, there's so much to see here.. coffee from Red Bean Bag, Coffee Societe and Hot Shots are some of my Fav Coffee... art and crafts shops are plenty here.. and once a while there will be art fair!! one is coming soon in Dec!!! I am thinking of doing something but I may not have enough supplies to open a shop this round.. :) may be I can plan for next year's art and craft Bazaar in Publika! :D 

Till next time!! tata!

Meow~~~~

Taby: The black cat that visited my In Law's house and now call it home..

Interesting idea...

Read this article title that states a parent's decision to band their daughters from watching TV for a year and sent them out on 100 outdoor challenges to complete!

Great idea!!!! LOL.. but outdoor challenges some or most need $.. have to budget budget lor.. some ppl why they rather just stay home and watch TV ah, is really because nothing to do and dun wanna spend extra money.. TV already paid for.. so watch saje lar..

Of course it's great to go out and just enjoy the great outdoor, the beauty and the fresh air... NOT easy to find those in the city where I live in-- KUALA LUMPUR... I was from Kota Kinabalu, Sabah.. use to stay in a small village called Kampung Sawah, next to a river! and then during my secondary school years, lived on a hill at an area call Berungis; then an area called Kolombong (near a small town); then Menggatal (another small town) and while I was studying in Uni, My family moved to Penampang.. most of the places that I stayed in Sabah when I was very young was either near the River or on top of a Hill.. it was fantastic!!! The best childhood memories was being in the great out doors!!

Last time the outdoors was the convenience.. now, it's a luxury.. especially for those who are living in the city.. Many of my family and relatives envy that I stay in KL, because of the progress, the speed and efficiency of goods and services are made available to us.. Better Salary, great food (a lot more varieties), convenient to shop and the varieties of shopping available, entertainments (the latest one) etc are very enticing! Would I live differently if I were to move back to Sabah? hmm.. perhaps I would.. Life would pass by slower and it would be filled with going out to the beach, shopping at the wet market, a jog in the evening on Sundays, meeting up with family and friends like how I am trying to do it now in KL.. but it may be easier to do it in Sabah because it is less jam and everyone seems to be nearer..

When I was like 7-8 years old, I remembered waiting for my mom during work and I saw this beautiful horse near by the field, it was a racing horse actually, Sabah people still race horses sometimes.. So I got out of the car, and slowly walk towards the horse.. she was not too scared of me then, and I was so intrigued by her that I went up very very gentle and slowly to touch her... butt! LOL.. Now come to think of it, it was SOOOOOO dangerous!!! She could have kicked me off flying and got my head injured or something.. but thank God the experience was a pleasant one.. she turned back and pimped at me a little but didn't much move away.. then I touch her again and may be it tickled her a bit so she moved a little.. I giggled at my small accomplishment.. then I slowly walk back to my car at the same time the horse ran off to her stable near by.. (i may even have talked to her like meeting a new friend.. you know how kids are.. I am those kind tt make friends with anyone and anything..)

Now, my children are not so fortunate.. mommy is so busy with her work n ministry she got less time to bring her sweetie pie out for a run and jump in the park... Haih.. I wonder what will my children remember for their childhood memories if they don't get to explore the great outdoors like their papa and mama use to.. Nigel used to set traps at his own back yard and catch either birds or lizards.. lol.. Oh what fun we use to have!! Now, the most times I see them running and laughing is when they are in the play ground, either indoor or outdoor... Last month we went to the beach once with my in laws and that was fantastic experience for my daughter but my son was screaming in fear.. I really should bring them out more often, take off their shoe and run in the sand...

honey, when is our next trip to the beach? I hope soon.. I hope every month..

From MPH :D

A grief observed by CS Lewis

This is one of those rare books that would caught my attention even though it's not and absolutely unattractive book on the outside.. But boy, it was worth a short read of 5 min on Tt 1 paragraph!

"God has not been trying to experiment on my faith or love in order to find out their quality. He knew it already. It was I who didn't."

This sentence is so powerful! Change my thinking about facing test, exams an challenges in life literally! We normally think that is it to test ourselves so other may know our capabilities and qualities.. But here we have our All knowing God, throwing challenges n crisis n circumstances daily at us.. not because he needs to or wants to know (coz He already knows.. Durrrr) but because we didn't know.. 

It is like a mirror.. The test is like a mirror.. When we face it, it shows us our reflection and there & then, what we do next determines what we actually walk away with.. 

What reflection do you see now in the mirror? Do you now know what is the condition of your heart, mind and spirit? Do you stay the same or do you walk away changed and knowing you have done your best..

T.T

Alexander sang a mandarin song to me after his bath yesterday, even though i can't understand most of what he was saying, it made me cry...... because he has come so far, improved so much and made me so proud of his little achievements..

Stop comparing already...

We would really be happier when we JUST stop comparing our lives with someone else's lives..

Stop comparing how good their house, spouse, cars and lifestyle they have and start appreciating your little apartment, your love ones, your Proton and your chosen life.. 

Someone who is filled with gratitude and thanks giving will always be more joyful and contented. 

I am not asking you to ditch your dreams and ambitions.. I am merely asking you to Thank the Lord for where ever you are now. No matter how tough, no matter how challenging, no matter how painful it is for you to go through this.. there's always a reason for it and there will be someone out there who needs you to make it work!! Because they need you to help them through it after you have gone through it yourselves.. 

Jesus called us to help him be a testimony to others, the Ambassador of Christ! doesn't mean that you become God.. but merely His servant who would love, live and reach out to people in need ON behalf of Jesus until the person can reach out to Jesus themselves.. 

In the mean time, STOP comparing your life with other ppl on FB or Insta or anywhere else for that matter, please.. I beg you to stop doing that! They face troubles and challenges too.. we just don't know it.. and don't idolize it just because they post it up with all the Happy, Romantic and Ideal things that you think make up a happy life or even a happy relationships..

You still wanna compare?? Compare with the happenings in Philippines lar!! Where actual people suffering from the lost of their homes, loved ones, car, schools, friends, almost everything!! Even the sense of security and peace was ripped out from them.. only chaos and uncertainty awaits them. Why don't you compare yourselves with them? haih.. Stop it already..

Let's pray for Philippines this whole week and stop comparing! Everyone has a story, everyone has a pass, everyone has to move forward, and hope the goodness we share will last..