One small button...

Have you ever feel that someone had just press the prohibited button?

And your head started to explode with anger and frustrations?

How did that happened? How come we got a button that cannot be pressed... or else!!!

Could it be because there is so much dissatisfaction? much disappointments and frustrations we keep keeping bit by bit, like the fire powder in a barrel of explosive, in our heart and soul that one day.. a person accidentally press the ignition button.. and we exploded with a great Bomb!!!!

All die!!! including ourselves..

Advice? We should always talk about the little things tt bother us.. and hope the other person will understand.. with this, we dun keep the fire powder.. second.. if we have to keep it because we don't wanna sound naggy, then when it does explode, please remember to keep the explosion within a limit.. Dun lar keep Ka-Bomb, Ka-bomb and then Bomb bomb blast Ka-bomb some more and it has become an explosion that wiped out half of the world!!!

Cool down after a few Ka-bomb lar.. in a family, a normal family, where got dun have arguments and explosive moments one.. sure have one.. if dun have also a big problem.. means all parties are so numb, they dun even bother or care anymore.. worst and serious case d... they believe there is not help, no cure, no hope.. so just let is die silently... this is the worst thing that could happen to our fire powder.. it has become poison in our heart, mind and soul... will take more to heal the pain and fear..

Anyway.. we hope to have less arguements and more communication lar hor.. :D

New Revelation..

It's not really new I suppose.. but understanding this beyond understanding is something special..

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Worship leading for more than 2-3 years now.. I really loose count of time.. I know nothing about keys, I know nothing about tempo (in fact I almost always go out of tempo, especially in the beginning of my serving..) I know nothing about linking one song to the next with creativity.. NOTHING!!! ZERO!!! thus.. I feel I am so incapable.. which in fact I am also lar..

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All I know is sing.. but slowly and surely.. with help of experience and talented musicians.. I have improved.. I have practice my worship (for worship leading) but most of all.. I really pray for it.. To lead worship is not a simple as it seems.. God Must Be the center of the worship and our lives must reflect that as we lead His ppl..

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The revelation that came to me like a slap on the face was that some worship service that we have in this time is not to glrify, worship or praise God.. it's to make us feel good about God.. It does not serve as a worship and praise to God anymore.. it's like a session for us to feel good about being a Christan.. and that's wrong! We should be bringing glory and really lift God's name on high!!! not just with the songs but with our attitudes and with our lives! Everyday is a worship and an offering to God..

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In every worship we should always ask.. "Lord, are you pleased with our offerings? Are you satisfied with the sacrifice we brought?" and not.. "How do I feel after the worship? Is it a good worship for me?" haiya.. Worship is for God, not for us..

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I do appreciate ppl coming up to me and tell me tt it was a good worship... really.. but I dun know how to react to that.. honestly.. coz i'm not doing it for you.. (not that I dun care for you..) I mean.. If God spoken to you during the worship, then it is His grace.. If you are touched by His presence, it is His mercy.. If you felt God is there with you in your circumstances, that's His love.. It is when we worship Him whole heartedly, He, our Lord is pleased, then perhaps.. (perhaps) He will bless you with all these gifts.. My concerned is-has our worship been worthy of You, Lord.. If the Lord is pleased not just for my and my worship team's worship, but for His People's worship... then I have done my part as a worship leader..

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Leading His ppl to put aside all things and just come as ONE upon His thrown, to worship and praise Him... that is a real challenge..

Sleepy and tired..

sorry for not updating currently.. sleepy and really tired lar..

Will try to up date something soon..

hopefully.. Night~~

My teachers..

I almost cried out when i saw this photos.. The one on our left, is actually my 2 years older senior.. Simon Kong.. One of the most talented Chinese Orchestra player and Conductor I know..

Then One of my Science Teacher.. which i totally forgotten his name.. but i remember once thing about him.. That he was a very kind man.. He had never loose his temper and had all the patience for his students..

Then, Mr Hiew, I remember him coz he was our vice principal.. He is so gentle and kind.. I can't believe he was not the head master after my generation.. Then the far right.. Mr Teo, my music teacher.. who i use to hang out at his house for lunch and tea and once stayed over with his family coz my mom couldn't come and pick me up after a performance.. he and his family was so kind..

To see them grown so old when I don't feel like I left too long ago makes me a little sad..

Like suddenly they grown so old..

Time really flies.. but I can see that they are happy.. they are honored.. and they are respected..

They have been so faithful..

This was my orchestra practice area.. I use to seat at the blue chair where all the flute were..

We had some good times and hard times then.. but mostly.. great times :)

The Chinese Music Orchestra was like a church to me back then..

We have a saying:

Chinese Orchestra is a Family..

Gossiping...

You either in, or you are out!!!

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So am I in? or out? I'm most probably the off? like.. "har? what happened? why am I the last to know?" that kinda off.. do I gossip... I could never say no, just like asking me "Do you sin?" of course yes lar.. but never proud of it.. but trying as much as I can to not to and be a better person..

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I was a victim of gossip to.. and I know how it feels.. since young, the gossip had an impact in my life until to a point... It made me nuts!! depressed and now I know how to handle it.. I know I have overcome this thing call Gossip.. In my life, Gossip started since primary School!!! So dun you think i got enough practice on it? lol... Always being the victim and not just being gossiped but being judged based on the gossips.. because of some childish reasons people accuse me of doing.. like wht, you may ask? like not smiling when we meet; Close my eye when I look towards the person; Worst gossip!!! I said something bad about someone when I didn't!!! Gossips becomes an accusation without any basis.. Silly and petty incidence right? ya.. children mar..

But does it mean it hurt less? Of course no lar.. the whole class believed in those gossips and never consider that it could just have been a misunderstanding that it made me loose friends.. I hate untrue accusations..

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On the other hand.. when issues that is gossiped is actual true... now what? So I am still the victim? If you have nothing to talk about, people wouldn't BE talking about you... right? Jeng Jeng Jeng~~~ Slander is always a bad thing.. but we can't stop others from talking illy of us, because we may have hurt them, without knowing.. and we cannot blame them for not being up front either.. Even though we know they should do that but before we chould say that about them... are we the same? har... if we are... then nothing to say lar.. coz if we point the finger on them, you are pointing more fingers back on yourself.. Means, we may be gossiping others also.. check ourselves first hor.. may be God is trying to make us taste our own meds.. Just think about it lar..

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So how to handle gossip? how to take the slanders? When it's true or untrue?

What does the bible said? When you know there is a gossip.. don't hind behind it lar.. If it is possible.. go and tell your brother/sister or the person tt hates u :P that he/she had slander and that has hurt you.. if the person dun listen, bring another fren.. and if again the person don't listen.. then you may have to ask for higher authority to deal with the person.. Means you need to Confront the gossiper with Love..

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For me if it is untrue gossip, I may take the coward way out... easier.. just ignore it.. since it is untrue... it will not stick long.. and my true frens will know me for who I am and know tt it is untrue.. I do not need to be afraid of any untrue gossips... but there is a problem with this method.. What if others (who does not really know me) believes in the gossip and they acted on it? then I am in big trouble.. .

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How if it is true? We did made this mistake and we did put shame onto ourselves... We feel terrible, don't we... and yet our 'family' members put salt onto our wounds.. it hurts more.. we feel rejected, depress, then up set and later, disappointed, devastated then angry... you know where it leads. So, same thing, what should we do? Go to the person who started all this gossiping and found out how we have hurt them, repent, find forgiveness (sincerely) and peace in them then move on... But I know sometimes even after that, people still continue to talk or they don't forgive us.. but we did our part.. Do what ever we humanly can and leave the rest to God lor..

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For me, I may just talk to someone else, repent and then only talk to the person I've hurt.. Coz I'm not tt strong to just go up to a person and ask wht's going on without preparing myself for the worst..

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So, we learn from the Bible what should we do lar.. It's not easy and nobody likes to confront others.. regardless they are right or wrong.. but all I know is, it is the right thing to do when we do this in love..

Having another baby...

Being pregnant for the second time is not an easy task.. especially when you have one older kid which is still, in a lot of ways... a baby... to take care of.. tiring!!!

So i hope my post will be short and sweet from now on.. except when I have much emotions or thoughts I would like to express.. (wai.. no time..) ahahaha..

Check up today... here are some.. erm... baby photos? :P See if you can see my little baby's head, hands and feet...

This is a 3D scan... I think? Still look a little.. erm.. alien? :P still growing and forming mar..

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My children cannot be too serious lar.. must take life sometimes (sometimes) with a pinch of salt.. Serious when needs to be serious.. and still able to laugh at ourselves at times..
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Can you see baby's head, hands and feet?

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Ei? EDD is 26 May 2010.. ahahaha no more 23rd May? :P Could be early like Alexander and it will be 23rd May 2010.. ahahaha..

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You may ask if I would like to have the same birthday as my baby... i will tell you.. No. I want her to have her own special day.. no need to share with anyone from the family.. :D but even if it is on the same day, then we'll make it special for the both of us..

Alexander 1st Birthday..

Alexander's 1 year old birthday was a blast!! Thank you all for making it.. Thank you for the presents and monetary gifts.. and gifts to come :D

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I'm so greatful that my father, mother, younger brother in law manage to make it to this special event.. And my bro Kennedy, sis in law , Edward and Connicious from my side of the family came too. Truly glad you all made it..

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All our AIA frens and church members.. thank you for taking the trouble being there.. hope it was fun for all of you as it is for us... My Corbis frens.. hope you had a good time with some of our old frens..

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I'm sure the children had fun coz there was so much toys, goodies and fries for them.. ahahaha.. and dun forget having Chicky there (the mascot) was one of Alexander's fav time.. Alexander's eye just brightens up as soon as he layed his eyes on Chicky.. ahaha.. I think if Alexander could talk, he would want to bring Chicky home..

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The party was awesome with family and frens and the little children running around with colourful balloons and toys to bring home.. food was of course pretty standard.. wished it could be better though.. but really, it's the ppl that went there tt made the place so brighten up..

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I haven't seen my official photographer's photos yet.. i hope i get to see them soon :) Some pictures taken by my frens was wonderful.. thank you Han Then, Wai wai, Chris Lim and Lydia Yee for posting it on facebook..

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Must apologies if we did not manage to take photos with some of the families attended that day.. we have more opportunities again.. dun worry :)
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Must say that we enjoyed ourselves very much..

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To my son Alexander.. Happy Birthday darling.. on 1st November 2009 (Sunday)