Clear half way :D

I am glad to have a great dicussion with Nic and Pastor along with Jaecie and Nigel last night.

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Cleared a lot of stuffs yet (yes, i went home and continue to think and ponder on things...) I must clear ALL outstanding matters since we all need to say every single thing that would seem to be a possible issue.. for the past and for the future. So the devil cannot use these things to hinder us from moving forward again..

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Yesterday session was a good one, confrontation is not a bad thing, really. It may not be comfortable but the result is unity, clarity, understanding and forgiveness. Confrontation is not one way, it's both ways. So it is a good way to communicate in the most serious manner.. (tt's wht I think.)

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There should be some annoucements to be done to set things right (may be? dunno yet) and from now on everything should be recorded (from my side) when it comes to official statements lar.. so when there are changes, we have a record and we can be on the same page.

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Forgive me for being absents physically and mindlessly (is there such a word??haha..).. being pregnant again this time is a bit more though physically (even for my brain). Sometimes I can't feel my brain moving much.. really!!? my heart is still beating strong.. but thinking wise.. I dun even know the date or time.. just know tt morning take care and sayang Alexander before going to work, then whole day work, go home have dinner then sleep... tt was it!!! Only recently was truly able to think and pray.. even reading the word I restart recently since I got pregnant this year coz I can't even get myself to do any other things..

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I am still the main person over seeing CPY while Nic and Joon Lang (and sometimes Han Then and Rebecca helps out..) is my leaders in this youth.. I some how portrait that I am not the head of the ministry and has caused confusion among the youth (in a way). They are sometimes lost because they dunno who to listen to when they should have come to me to seek answers and clarity rather than just asking the other leaders, then only I can clarify the situation for ALL.

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I can say I give much liberty to Nic to do almost everything and sometimes when he submits a request for an event and activity, it's a pretty good idea. But I need to learn how to convey this to the young people that Nic did ask for my feedback every time before he goes and do it.. Of course with Pastor's consent (sometimes yes and sometimes not yet).. but at times, we still misses Q.. but we are still learning to communicate more often and more efficiently. Right Nic?

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I hope all my leaders and youth understands that I am not judging them..I am protecting them and supporting them in every way that I can.. I am still learning lar; we are all still learning..

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Learning to be better and truly live to please God.

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Especially when I come to you with questions or doubts, instructions or even an advise (rebuke even).. I think we all need to be answerable to our actions and be aware of it, even myself.. (Please know that I am open and ready for critiques from leaders and youth at any point of time but share it with love and patient as I have with all.) But never ever lie to me (please don't), that is my request for a healthy relationship.. Being honest to each other is the foundation for all relationships. Don't lie because of fear of the outcome. It is better to say the truth and deal with the matter head on..

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Nigel has been a wonderful husband who has supported me in EVERYTHING. His reaction towards my frustration is most of the time... enlightening.. hahaha.. only Nigel could make me feel that way.. sometimes after expressing my frustration and perhaps anger (especially about the ministry).. he always comes up with something interesting or supportive to help me cope.. I truly love this man who is a voice behind all the scene of my life..

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Even though he seems to be behind me all the time, he has always been in my eyes (I put him first before me..) and in my heart.. I believe in what he does for our family is with much love and sacrifice... even though it takes a long time to actually seems like it, but I am as a wife, companion and friend should be more supportive and understanding in every way possible. --May God give me patience :P