Regrets....

Do you have any regrets? Things you have not done and time have just drifted away? Things you didn't get to say or do for someone? A close friend, a family member, someone special?

Been thinking of a friend lately.. her name is Flora Fung Yun Thau. A secondary school friend that i have lost contact with. We were very very close and her parents thrusted me to take good care of her everytime we go out together. (over protective i guess..) But i guess i have not really been a real friend as i didn't have the guts to share true happiness i have in Chirst when i had the chance to.

She had a difficult life, she have better grades than me, more capable and hard working than me and still she gets cheated, bullied and betrayed by other ppl when she was studying in college. Some more by our own friends.

I remember telling her not to go to Nic Wong's church becuase they pray in the Holy Spirit which was then, very creepy to us. I am so stupid! If i would have encouraged her to go and put my own misunderstanding aside i could have save her life. Now, i can't do anything. I am such a fool!

I sometimes cry for her and for myself as i truly feel that she deserve the love of Christ. I pray that she now knows our Saviour and live a great life dispite her family circumstances. I pray i could see her again as i miss her very much and if i do, i will never be a fool again.

Lord, love my friend Flora.

21x 7 Tags

[Seven Things I'm Experiencing Now]
1. God’s work in my life
2. God’s work in other people’s life
3. Loved, even with adversaries
4. Nervous as I prepare for my wedding and marriage life
5. Excited as I pray for family, frens & CPY
6. Fun as I answer these questions
7. Hungry wanna have dinner soon.

[Seven Things I'm Thinking About Now]
1. What to eat later?
2. Can go home soon.
3. What should we get for KS?
4. Planning for what to do later
5. Helping fren on their work
6. When are they going to reply their msn?
7. Should call someone later

[Seven Things I'm Worrying About]
1. Have I been a good follower of Chirst?
2. Have I been a good example and mentor to others?
3. My family & Frens who haven't receive Salvation
4. My finance
5. My Wedding day
6. Condition of CPY
7. Meeting my target for this month!

[Seven Things I'm Happy About]
1. That Jesus loves me very much
2. Jesus loves my family and friends a lot
3. I have wonderful family and friends.
4. I have a Purpose!
5. Having Nigel
6. Able to serve in Youth Ministry
7. Able to work!

[Seven People I Treasure], no limits…
1. My God (father, son and the holy spirit)
2. My family (Nigel,mom, Kenn,Ryenn,Edward, uncle Yap, Dad, Sly, Jose, Darren, my Grandparents)
3. My spiritual family (Jeacie,Kat, Sharon, Ye lane,Joanna, Michelle S,TC,Pastor Jeff, Ben, Logan, Julian,Nic, Jeff, Lit Yen)
4. My friends (Chris, Lydia.Mas Mai,Lee Lin,Yee Vun, Alice etc
5. my spiritual children (Rebecca,Steph, KS, Jenny, Abigail.,Jon, David, James,Bryan, Dexter.)
6. The Poor (reminds me of who I was and where I was from)
7. The Wise (Fear the Lord is the root of all wisdom)

[Seven Things I Always Touch or Come In Contact With]
1. my phone
2. Purse
3. Bible
4. Computer
5. Cup of tea
6. Diary & Pen
7. People

[Seven Things I Want to Improve]
1. My Prayer life
2. Singing
3. mentoring
4. God’s presence in my life
5. discipline
6. creativity
7. my skin tone

[Seven Things I'm Strong In],
1. Listening
2. Give good advise
3. Positive and cheerful
4. Passionate
5. making ppl smile
6. public speaking
7. being creative

[Seven Things I'm Weak In]
1. Studies
2. discipline
3. Saving $
4. Doing this test... so long
5.
6.
7.

[Seven Things I Adore Eating]
1. Salad
2. Fries
3. Burger King
4. Chicken wings
5. Potato Chips
6. Nuts – almond, hazel
7. Ice-cream cake

[Seven Things I Adore Drinking],
1. Hot Earl Grey Tea
2. Hot white coffee..
3. Soup
4. Hot Mint Tea
5. Hot Lemon Grass Tea
6. Water melon Juice
7.

[Seven Things I Detest]
1. People who take advantage of others
2. People who are rude and unreasonable
3. People with no manners
4. People with no compassion
5. People who thinks sinning is ok
6. People who mislead others into doing the wrong things
7. Abuser, rapist

[Seven Things I Cannot Live Without]
1. Jesus
2. Word of God
3. My Family and Friends
4. God’s help, protection and presence
5. my memories
6. my heart and soul
7. Nigel

Seven Things I Fear to Show]
1. my mistakes
2. my younger self
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.

[Seven Things I'll Never Want to Talk About],
1. Gossips
2. Wrestling
3. Porns
4.
5.
6.
7.

[Seven Things I Will Want to Do]
1. Have a good rest
2. Have a vacation going for one soon yea!!!
3. Do good in everything I do
4. wash my hair
5. Learn to be dependant on God
6. Live healthy
7. Spend more time with myself, family n friends

[Seven Things I Will Never Play Around When/With]
1. Someone is sharing their problems or troubles
2. Praying with someone or to someone
3. Teach the youth
4. Scold ppl
5. Listening to my mom n Jeacie’s advise
6. Relationships
7. other people’s feelings

[Seven Things I Wonder About]
1. I wonder why I have to wonder?
2. I wonder when Jesus is coming back for us..
3. I wonder how am I going to finish this 7 tags
4. I wonder how I can have a great wedding day
5. I wonder how I can cook better
6. I wonder how can I be more like Jesus
7. I wonder why teen now a days behaving this way.

[Seven Questions I Hope My Friends Would Respond To]
1. Our friendship
2. What can I improve
3. Do you love me?
4. How did I make a difference in ur life
5. How have I been a good fren
6. What would you remember most about me
7. Would you take care of the ones I love most after I die?

[Seven Things (or People) I Would Love to See]
1. Wonders of God, His miracles
2. People’s tears of joy
3. A strong youth ministry
4. People’s smiles n laughter
5. People having fun
6. Other countries, vacation
7. New heaven and new earth

[Seven People I Wanna Tag] Dunno who lar.
1. Wai Wai lar.

Tagged by Becky..

5 MORE things you dunno about me...

1. I killed a chic (little chicken) before. It was so so cute i squeezed the fella until it have no breath and died! i think i got real scared of the incident that i erased it from my memory but my mom still remember the incident and she still laughed about it. (She tot it was cute. duh?) I remembered holding the chic but not killing it.. but i did.. :(

2. I stood up for my fren when the guy that she like didn't show up for a date. It was her birthday and she was so excited that the guy agreed to come out to meet her. She waited for a few hours and the guy didn't show up so she went home disappointed and of course cried. I can't stand it so i got his number and called him (mind you, i have never spoken to this guy b4 and i dun even really know him. He was just our Senior.) I told him tt he was a jerk by letting a girl wait for him and and never even showed up! That was unacceptable! he was of course shocked that i called and apologized to me and my fren. In the end, my fren became good frens with the guy.. hahaha all is well...

3. I was qualified and accepted to become an SIA air stewardess before. it was a great feeling! hahaha coz it wasn't easy to get the job, so many test and you can only come out top, the first, to get to the finals. Over thousands of girls they only choose about 20-25 girls. So i am very very happy i was one of the 25 girls. Didn't accept the job because i will be bonded for 5 years if i did, if 2 or 3 years I would have gone and try it out but for 5 years!? Nah, i have better things to do :)

4. I dun drink cold soya drink. I only drink hot one.. unless i'm super thirsty and no other drinks available then may be i'll consider. Weird but true..

5. One of my most memorable birthday gift(s) is from my mom. At age 7, she got me 7 little gift. Warped with news papers, each of them were my fav junk food. Was very poor so junk food is a luxury :) it was a thrill to open the gifts one by one on my old bed with my mom smiling next to me. I can still remember the joy as i unwrapped those wonderful and thoughtful gift. It was special.

Its a Wonderful Life

It’s such a wonderful life :) it comes with all the rejections, disappointments, sadness, pain, betrayal and all that. All in all, it’s a great life. I love my life, do you like yours?

Didn’t have a good family, so God gave me an awesome one; didn’t have money or wealth like everyone else, so God provided everything needed; didn’t have much friends when I was young, so God become one of my best of friends and gave me mush more later; didn’t have a much intelligence, actually I am considered the silliest girl, so God gave me proverbs; most of all, didn’t really had a father, so God assured me that He is mine. J Wonderful don’t you think?

What ever I’ve lost, God restored; what ever I don’t have, God redeemed; what ever I needed, God provided; what ever I desire (according to His will), God gives.

God gives me hope in the morning and faith at night, most of all He gave me love all through out the day..

Can’t really imagine my life without Jesus, if I could it will look pretty gloomy, dark and depressing. So I pray a prayer long time ago, “If ever I were to back slide, God please take me home before that happens because I can’t live a life without you through eternity.”

I love my life coz I love God, do you?

“But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” Matt 6:33-34

A friend called Josephine..

This is a name i remember since i was young. A far related cousin and a good childhood friend. Actually.. My best friend ever!! I seriously dunno where to start.. it will be a long story and many will not truly understand our relationship.. we are not Les ok but we love each other very very much.. like Jonathan and David in the Bible :)

We grew up together, from the same kindergarden and primary school.. we know each other's family and we are very very close as we always visits each other. We share our thoughts and dreams;our pain and sufferings; our good times and our bad. We were like twin sisters! where ever one goes the other would be near by.. our teachers use to mixed us up! hahaha.. i'm jose nad she is Susana.. heehehee She looks pretier of course, with big dark eyes, long hair and thick rose bud lips :) a sweet girl in deed.

The most memorable moment was this one time my whole class bullied me and do not want to be friend me (areally childish k.. for very silly reason too..) but she was the only one who stood up and make a stand for me even though only 2 of us knew, i was still comforted :) she said " i will still be your friend ok?......."

we were very close, so close until i dare to scold her just becuase i do not like to be disturbed while i was doing my homework.. I only scold close friends and she was the first one :P its not fair i know, but its when i can truly be myself.. (i did explain to her and said sorry k.. i was not without manners or understanding).. The best part! she still loves me any way...

I remember when i was studying in KL in year 2000 i had a very bad dream about her and it left me without peace.. it really bothered me.. i prayed and i tried to called and write letters to her but no reply.... i was so so worried.. until i go back to Sabah and went looking for her and saw her tt she was safe and healthy, then only i have peace.. and you know what? during the time i had that bad dream about her.. she was actually facing a crisis!! wow! what a miracle! God really send His massages through dreams, if not i would not know and would not have prayed for her safety and God's protection. It didn't happend exactly i dream of (thank God it wasn't.) but it was a distress call..

So, my best friend is married now.. to a wonderful guy called Victor :) i'm sure they'll make a great family together.. Soon i'll have a family too and then may be our children will become best of friends also.. :) i love my sister Josephine Chang...

Tears to my eyes...

Was reading about a story of how a girl lost her legs and her father when a bomb struck her home in Bosnia. It brought back a sad memory tt i have read in the local news paper about a father and son.

I saw 3 pictures in the news paper that captured my eyes. 3 very heart breaking pictures i will never ever forget.

Its was about a gun flight between 2 parties and as you may have guessed the father and son was "in between" the gun flight. First Picture, Father and son hugging each other in fright; father and son crying fearing for thier life. Second Picture, Father raised his hand to plead the shotters to stop as they are in danger; pleading... begging. Third Piture, father and son's body laying dead on the same spot.

I can never forget the face of that man. His face shows deep sadness and pain; in fear of not only his own life but the life of his dear son. His tears on his face broke my heart, his eyes was red and teary.

War is real. Many people have great and wonderful lives but they throw it away for thrills and wasted thier lives on drugs, discos, alchohol and prostitution. For some having to live, just being alive is more precious than gold.

"Love is like wildflowers. Its often found in the most unlikely places." ~H. Jackson Brown, Jr

PC fair

Today is a fun and tiring day as we went to PC fair. Logan, Sharon, Wai wai, Nigel and me.. it was not a good experience as its really troublesome to go from one place to another. It was fun as Sharon and I had a short chat as we rested (when the guys went shopping.).

We had lunch with the whole gang (except Elaine as she have lunch with her family.) you know.. the usual young adult group... we met Pastor & family, Thomas & family, Mrs. Saw & family, Joon Lang & family (and a friend), not forgetiing Mr Beh & family, and Kenneth :) It looks like out church over took 3/4 of the restaurant. hahaha.. the younger children was sitted in one table and they asked me to think of a game.. sori guys.. no idea at tt moment..

Nigel is very happy to get a 4G USB drive for RM115... Got a wireless adaptor, new catridge and emthy CDs. It was a fun experience for Nigel, Logan and Wai wai.. tiring experience for Sharon and me...

For the youth by the youth

Today we have a new speaker! Jon! Yea!.. He shared about why young people should come to our youth group.. Its small but we got God and the intimacy (relationship)... hahhaa.. spiritual and emotional k.. not physical... Its good, relaxed and enjoyable...

Worship was good too.. Jin Ing played drum today.. not bad.. can play d oh.. James, good as usual but Nic gave some pointers so it's actually better.. hahaha Stephanie wasn't on duty but Nic feels we needed the piano/organ so she was willing to help.. Charles handled the games and the whole meeting pretty well too. Everyone enjoyed the game.

The whole team did great today... It feels like the first time "For the youth, By the youth, Through the youth." its good... God is well pleased.. one thing though.. we forgot Jeremy was suppose to be in CPY group d.. hahaha Sorry Jeremy.. we will remember to remind you tt you are no more in Pre-teens.. you have been up graded! heeheehee... Oh, Jeremy also support sing today! :)

All Pre-teens will be up graded as they grow older.. its part of growing up and its a good thing.. i hope they are looking forward to it as all of us need to grow to the next stage. We dun wan to be "terbantut" right? That would include growing in numbers too! We want to grow!!!

Our goal is still have that personal touch with God, among all the members and grow to a group of 60 this year!... 30 gals 30 guys.. Let us do our best and let God do the rest.. Amen!!!

On Joseph's B-day

We are at Joseph's house now!! hahaha today is Joseph's Birthday! Happy B-day Bro!!! Its his 19th bird-day! Guess who is here now??

Nigel, James, Bryan, David and me... (We came to surprise Joseph with a Chocolate cake and LOTS of Junk Food!!!) Sorry for those we didn't invite as transport is a factor.. Next time k?

Each one of us prayed for Joseph for great blessing from God. These bunch of young people really can eat!! after eating 3/4 of the cake, they ate all the junk food! (we bought about RM37.50 of junk food and soft drinks) then RICE!!!! RICE??? crazy lar.. dunno where all those food went..

Hope you had a great time Joseph!!! We all love you !!! Since Bryan and James dun read long long stories.. ok lar.. stop here then...

Just Love..

When you love something enough, it will reveal its secrets to you.
Have you ever love something deeply? some of us have and i'm sure for the things that you love many do not know about how wonderful it is.. only you know about it becuase the secret was only reviewed to you :) as you go deeper and deeper....

So just love..

The measure of a man's heart is not how much his faith is, but is how much his love is.
Man, as in human beings, may lack faith but even we have all faith, all wisdom, all knowledge and not love... We have nothing.

So just love..

Sad Sad Story...

Yesterday my mom told me a very very sad story, its terrible. My young cousin sister is getting married, suddenly! So i hope i dun need to lilaborate what happened lar.

The really sad part is, her father is a Pastor in their church! She is in the children church ministry... I know "tepuk air dalam telega, kena muka sendiri." but i just wanted to highlight that this is a serious matter and i am heart broken by it. If she was in front of me, i would scold her like no body's business which i think many have done that.

What was she thinking!!!!??? She have not only ruin her good name but her father's name and not to mentioned God's. I know we are all human and we make mistakes but how can this happened? Where goes the discipline and self-control?

I also know that Ministers' and Pastors' children & family will always be the target for the Devil to attact. They need to be extra extra careful and be alert!! For the lion is ever ready to kill and steal! I understand that its not easy for my cousin sister to face this now, but i hope that she will repent and rise up. I hope she will face the fact that she made a huge mistake and confess that its a sin. That she have tarnished his father's name as well as the name of her Heavenly Father. I hope she realize that.

All in all, her father and her Heavenly Father will forgive her. I know they will. I also hope that she will not let the shame and guilt pull her down. I hope she will grow wiser through this pain and continue to trust in the Lord. She is so loved! She must know that and no matter what she have done, no matter what happens , we (her father, Heavenly Father and me) will NEVER disown her, stop loving her or forsake her.. We love her very very much... and we are there to support her faith (not her sin), her spirit and love her with all our heart.

Some mistakes are irreversable and it doesn't only cost YOU, it cost your family, your friends and those you love. Some people think "Its MY problem and i'm the only one baring it. So what's your worry? it doesn' t hurt anyone else." Not in most cases, your action will cause pain to those around you.

Yes, God will love us no matter what happens, no matter what we did and no matter how many time we did it. (All we need to do is to confess our sin & repent, and all is forgiven.) But He also hope that you do not need to go through hell to know that He really loves you, you know what i'm sayin?

So think twice before you act.

Wat R U thinking...

Young people now a days dun like to read long long stories, but good stories dun come in short paragraphs. Same with wanting to live a good life, there is no short cuts to it. Hard work, perseverance and determinations plays an important role. Without the right values (from Jesus) and the right help (from Jesus) we'll never make it in life.

You dun wan 2 study, wan 2 work; You wan 2 start dating at a young age; You wan 2 start drinking alcohol; You wan 2 try smoking; You wan 2 go Disco/clubs; You wan 2 get layed ETC..

YOU cannot handle it!!! Your brain is not mature or develop enough to think or to differentiate what is right and what is wrong, Number 1; Number 2, Your character have not been develop to its fullest potential, as you will change and grow consistently; Number 3, start thinking and acting like a true mature, responsible and wise adult then see if you will do these things at your age now.

You dun wan 2 study, wan 2 work: "If you are thinking for your family, i understand. Being poor and need to help the family is a noble cause but do get some form of education to improve oneself later. But if you are just thinking for yourself, you better think twice! Education is not everything, yes! but it will help. Don't just because 'i don't want to study' then you don't study and start to work without thinking about your future."

You wan 2 start dating at a young age: "Hello? Do you know who you are Really dating? Do You even know who you Really are? what you want in life? Who you really want to be for the rest of your life? If you can't even answer these questions, please don't ruin other people's life or break other people's heart. It could you being heart broken."

You wan 2 start drinking alcohol: "Even if your parents allow you to drink alcohol know that it doesn't mean you can drink like there is no tomorrow Or its cool to drink at your age. Have you met people with Liver cancer? Liver failure? A bad drinking problem and start hitting their family and young children? Drinking is not the way to relieve, its way to destruction!Remember that.Don't be proud that you know how to drink, its nothing great about it."

You wan 2 try to smoke: "Ai-se-men! Not only you wan to kill yourself but you wan to kill the ones close to you! i know some gentlemen who doesn't smoke in front of non-smokers.(thank you) but its not easy to quit smoking and it kills your lungs and you'll have bad breaths and deceases wil visit you sooner than you think. Don't start young, it will kill your youth."

You wan 2 go Disco/clubs: "1st question, why do you want to go there anyway? Nothing better to do ah? Most of the people that goes there either facing problem at home or they are really wild. I advise that don't start getting addicted to hanging out in those places. Its not healthy and it only give you a temp "happy" feeling. I know you just want to try 'been there done that' kinda thing, just don't get addicted. I know people at their forties and they still love to go disco/pubs. please lar, grow up!"

You wan 2 get layed: " Come here, come nearer and I'll give you a slap on the face! Don't laugh buddy! This is the worst thought some of you teenagers think about! (ok, killing, stealing, burning other people's house, hurting people, rape etc is worst lar) Why would you wan to give a way your virginity to someone who is not faithful, who will not marry you, who will not take care of you when you are ill, who will dump you for a better person, who will walk out on you anytime, who flirts around, who is a jerk, who doesn't respect you, who never commits etc.... I know, you didn't know that the person is going to walk out, going to dump you, not committed etc.. then if you are not sure? why give away something so important??????????? stupid right??? (please forgive me for my language, but its really STUPID!!!!)

i am not so bad in person, but when i really cannot tahan and you are very close to me, this is what i will say to you. (To those who have tasted my scolding, i'm sorry. I love you too much to ignore the things that will destroy your life in the future.)

I know we all make mistakes but don't do it for the sake of doing it. The consequences is sometimes long term and devastating. I have seen people going "been here done that" and they are not happy with their lives, and now for those who have "been there done that" i know one person, only one person can help you.... that's Jesus. (Don't worry, He is nicer than me :)

Tagged

i can actually ignore the tagging thingy, but well it sounds fun so i'll give it a try. 5 things you dunno bout me.... huh? a bit hard lar.. coz a lot things also many people know also... ok here goes.

1) I can remember things tt happen since i was as young as 3 years old. I have see dejavu in my memory and tot it was just a dream until i see pictures of the same incident and it happened when i was still as young as 2 to 3 years old. i even remember the things my bro said to me before our family first (and last) family portrait. Also tot it was just a cute dream but it wasn't, it actually happened and what he said to me was real.. and sweet :)

2) I join youth meeting when i was 10 years old and worship lead at 11 in a small church in Tuaran, Sabah. Normally starts at 7pm to 9pm every Saturday. After meeting, they will have a choir practice for sunday's service (they sings only hymns). In the beginning it was so boring tt me and my fren hide in the TOILET for an hour to stay undetected for about... a few months... then.. they found us... yea in the toilet...

3) I fell from a branch before and my heart actually stop beating for a while. After i fell i can hear my own heart beating very fast and was trying to breath but suddenly as i was looking up to my friend it was slowly turning blur and dark and i think i pass out after tt. The next thing i know was my big cousin sister forcing water into my mouth and i was chocking. Thank God for a miracle! I could have died! and its no joke.

4) I love to sleep on my star fruit tree when i was young. i would climb to the middle of the tree where the branches was the most and sleep there and enjoy the breeze. (you should try it, its really relaxing and cool.)

5) I use to be very very close with my elder brother. We share a lot of things including food and drinks. Until one day,i was having a can of either coke and Sarsi and he keeps drinking it and i lie saying tt i spit into the drink (i'm so terrible, feel bad about it now). He was so angry and never take my drinks or eat my stuff again.. so no sharing after that day .. so sad.. Now we share, i think he forgot about it d.. hahaha

I want to tag NIC WONG!!!!! tell another 5 things we dunno about you!!!

One of the Devil's Plan

Do you ever notice how the Devil tries to make your life miserable? Do you relize his sharp teeth when you are traped in his plan? Telling you lies and put doubts, anger, and confusing into your minds?

I hate that, i sometimes feels that and have come across many undefeated battles with the Devil. I failed and i failed badly. How to show others love, how to care for others, how to be a good steward, how to be a better mentor, how to be a loving and supporting gf, how to be a "hou soon" daughter, how to grow the ministry etc.. i have failed many many times.. so many oppositions and trials. How to tahan??? So many complaints, so many discouragements, so many heart aches.

At times i feel very weak and powerless, especially when things didn't go as well at times... hai.... I take it upon myself that its my responsibility and yes i am as i am a part of a very complicated calling. Demanding request pulling for my attenttion as i need to balance doing the right thing and doing it with love..

I sometimes feel i am such a bad influence when things didn't go the right way.... yet i remember that i do not need to be perfect but i will strive for excellence. " But you are to be perfect, even as your Father in heaven is perfect." (Mt 5:48) doesn't mean we are perfect.. "to be" here is an on going action, a work in progress, doing. The scripture didn't say "You are prefect for your Father in Heaven is perfect"!?? nah ah!! So don't be afraid to feel the least among many and perhaps the weakest among the giants.. we can be a dove and still touch many just always be willing & ready to let God take control. Greatness sometimes comes in small packages. Don't you agree? :)

So don't be down and stay down? That is just want the Devil want you to do!? he will discourage you and destroy,crush and break your spirit but count on the Lord for He will renew our strenght and we will soar on wings of eagles.

"But those who wait on the LORD will find new strength. They will fly high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint." Isa 40:31

So proud.....

So proud of the young people in our church today, just because they attended Ps. Jeremiah's special meeting this afternoon. Two of CPY leaders could not be there (Rebecca and Joseph, got to work oh) but i'm still proud of the whole team :) coz each one of them represent each other and they are a part of a whole team. One praised all are priased! (one kena scolding, the whole team also kena lar..) "Yao fook tong hiong, yao lan tong dong."

The young people in our church have come a long way. From childishness to maturity; from taking to giving; from no commitment to more commitment; from unwilling to willing (didn't give in easily though) hahaha.. Nevertheless, this bunch of young people have really come a long way..

I personally know each one of them and they surprizes me all the time. yes of course they are not prefect in many ways but the good thing is.............. i'm very forgetful so i dun really remember the imperfectionssssss.... So that's why i'll always have room to be surprized!!! heehee

One day i'll be gone, and death is sometimes very sudden. Besides wishing that my love ones will take good care of themselves and always remember that i am with the Lord, i also wish that after i am no longer able to share the passion Jesus has for the young generation, someone else will and CPY will carry on the legacy of Christ's love: For The Lord and For The People. Luke 10:27 "Love the Lord with all your heart and all your soul and will your strenght and all your mind." and "Love your neighbor as yourself."

When i die i will want to be remembered as someone who have loved as how Christ loved me. If i can summarise my life purpose in one action, that would be to love. I am still learning but that would be my ultimate goal becuase "we love because He first loved us." 1 John 4:19 if someone doesn't know how to love, its becuase no one have showned him/her how love looks like. Do you know how love looks like? :)

i hope the young generation will know that God our Father really really loves them. I cannot imagine a world without God in their lives. The source of love, care and joy all comes from one and only source... Jesus. Young people may not think they need Jesus now, but eventually everyone of us need Jesus. For those young people who are already in the light always be ready, be prepared for you'll never know when your good friend, your buddy, your pals will one day need that love, that care and that joy only Jesus can offer.

The young people in our church is so wonderful that they themselves doesn't even know it.. They are so gifted, talented and blessed! I'm sure God is humbling them and also bringing them up to a life of greatness. They will need to wait and see patiently as God's plan unfolds... bit... by... bit........

You show me love I

I knew of this person ever since i was born. Since primary school i wil go & visit him every year 4 my holiday. In the beginning, i never seem 2 remember him at all. Who he was & why i hv 2 come 2 Tawau every year? May b because i was 2 young 2 remember or it could b tt i only concentrate on the action & fun of my holiday than the ppl around me.

Can you guess who he is?

He is a loving man. He loved me & my brother very much. He'll do anything 4 me & my bro becuase we were so precious 2 him. i make him proud by being bold & daring! Obedient & treat him with respect! He brings me around wit my other cousin sister 2 sing 2 his frens. (sing children songs.) In front of his frens family & friends. I can see through his smiles tt he was so proud of me.

1 fine day, I saw how he execute a squirrel. (Becuase He hv a lot of fruit tree, a squirrel is not considered as a pet. Its a PEST!) The squirrel r caught in a cage & the cage (made out of steel wires) is only as big as a shoe box. Wit the squirrel stil inside the cage, they put the whole cage into the water. The cage sank into the bottom as the squirrel was strugging for air! it was a cruel & slow death. i cried so hard after tt incident tt i keep asking why must we kill it tt way.

The next day, we caught another squirrel & i begged him not to kill it. i promised i will take gd care of it & feed it EVERYDAY. He looked into my teary eyes & said "ok". Yea!!! i have a pet squirrel!! so happy! So began my first day of squirrel raring. Its not as fun as i thought ok >:( the squirrel is not tamed & it bites! After 2 days i hate the cute furry animal. so i left it there & totally forgot about it.

After a few days, as i was jumping down the stairs i suddenly stop as i couldn't believe my eyes!!He didn't see me standing behind and He was feeding the squirrel not to mention showering it with water (giving it a bath i guess.)
i was stund by his love 4 me. He took care of the squirrel just becuase i wanted the squirrel, even though he hates the little furr ball & normally kills it. He spend his time cleaning the cage, getting food 4 it & bathing the fella because of me. He didn't want me 2 feel sad or cry if the squirrel die.

I stood there for a while, looking at him from behind, i got tears in my eyes. Hv any1 been so kind? Someone who loved you so much that they will put thier own interest and agenda a side just2make u happy, just 2 c tt smile on ur face & tt twinkle in ur eyes? This is the first time i feel a love that was so pure, true & noble.

A love only a grandfather can give...
It has been over 20 years & i still remember that day... the day I was touched by an angel.

Crazy Xxxx Xxxx!!!!! >:P

This happened when i was only about 8/9 years old. I normally visit my grandfather in Tawau in the end of the year to spent my one month holiday there.

So on this particular year and day, my cousin bro and i decided to go on our usual daily adventure into the oil palm and rubber estate. We decided to go a bit further to see what we can discover..

As we were happily walking and chatting, laughing and jumping.. we heard some noise from the bushes.. we look at each other and ... there was the sound again!.. What do you think it is?.. my cousin bro gave me a "i dunno" sign. it was consistent and it just near by.. we could have walk out of it but our adventurous side took over and we walked slowly into the bushes to have a look... As we turn the branches and leaves trying to get a better look, we step on a branch and made a loud "crack" sound.

Just then we saw what had made the noise and we could see that she was with her little Xxxx Xxxxs, then the Crazy Xxxx Xxxx saw us! She charged at us!!!! RUNNNNNN !!!!!! screaming our heads out! Running with no turning back nor looking back, we run for our lives!!! (Run Forrest Run!!) I ran until my shoes almost flew off! I ran until i can hear my heart pounding and felt like it was running in front of me! Aiya! huhhhh... Thank God We are alive!! Thank God for our faithful Doggie Petrol that was following us from far behind. they chased the Crazy Xxxx Xxxx away!

Went home, told my mom and grandparents about what happened, and they laugh until they need some air to breath. Hey! what so funny!? We were almost Xxxx Xxxx dinner!.. :(

Can you guess what Xxxx Xxxx is?

I wonder.....

I remember the first time i went looking for her. As I walk slowly in tears trying to find her, i almost stumbled, then there she was.. washing plates. Smiling at me like it was nothing wrong she gave me a hug and carried me to comfort me.

That was the earliest memory i have about her. i don't know how old i was then but i was definitely still too young to walk properly. Hope you already know who am i talking about? my mom!

We had a hard life. My dad walk out on us when i was only 4/5 years old. (i think? about there lar..) my mom had to work as a maid to support our daily living. She washes other people's clothes, clean their houses, cook for them etc... once a while i would follow her on her daily job. i would help her wash some of the clothes so she she wouldn't be too tired. Helped her wipe the windows and clean the dishes.

On Sundays, she would go to the morning market and sell flowers. She is a great Gardener! The flowers that she planted always blooms so beautifully. No one in the flower market have the bloom like my mom's flowers. Every Sunday morning at about 4am, we'll wake up and get ready to go to the market. we'll reach there about 530 to get a good place. then we will sit there until about noon for less people were around.

I wouldn't say i'll miss those times. hahaha coz those were pretty hard times for us. But i learn to appreciate the hardship and perseverance my mom and other people have to endure. Especially single mothers. its so hard raising up a family alone, sometimes not only other people accuse you, your own flesh and blood rejects you. Its depress to be in this situation. But it didn't get to us.

We have a great life! We lack somethings in life but we never lack love and care. Sometimes people say nasty things about my mom but even at my young age, i was fierce!!! i will not sit there and listen to people who have no heart criticizing my mom or anyone else bout their lowly occupation or situations. I will speak my mind! Respectfully.. of course. They are my elders and i will not show any disrespect and bring my mom shame. I simply said that want she is doing isn't a sin, (i go to Sunday school then) and she never hurt anyone. She do her work well and her employees liked her very much. So there! (not much, but what can u expect for a 7,8 year old?)

God says: " Honour your farther and mother...." No matter in what situations you are in with your parents; no matter how lowly you think your parents' job is; no matter how other parents seems to have it all; no matter how your parents doesn't have anything. They are your parents, you represent them. How you act and carry yourselves will determine how you bring them pride or shame, not the other way around. Got that!?

Happy Everyday Mom!

He hears Our Prayers

Are you confused? Bored of life? Pointless achievements? I get that sometimes, do you?

When i was in my Uni times, i feel i have no purpose, no goal, no direction. Where should i go? Where should i be? What should i be doing? And its not even graduation day yet. i'm only in my second year of Uni. I don't like what i'm studying (finance) and i feel its pointless!

I only talk to God about it then, coz its really frustrating! I can't tell my friends coz they will say "You'll figure it out eventually." I know i will but I WANT ANWERS and PLEASE GIVE IT TO ME NOW OR ELSE I WILL JUST GO NUTS! i can't call my mom coz that will freak her out! "What do you mean you don't know what you want to do with your life?i send you there to study and come home, work and be successful!"= imagining it only :p

So in silence i waited for an answer... still waiting................ its a pretty long wait k? Until suddenly i heard "You will be successful.". What was that again?... ello?... God?... Was that you?It was too soft can You speak louder?....please?... no?... oh, ok.... But what do you mean? Am i going to be rich? Successful in my career? Success in being a mother? what? Sucessful in being a good person? I don't know.... I don't even know should I stay in KL or Go back to Sabah... i was still wondering and still praying.. but God didn't say anything after that...

After the end of my second year and coming into my third year in Uni, things started to change. Studying finance is suddenly becoming very exciting! Being more involve in Church Ministry and Christian Fellowship doesn't seem to kill my grades, actually, it got better! Not sure what really happened and when it happened but its clearer and clearer what i should i be doing, where should i be? Its not exactly vision 2020 yet but its a step by step process. And its all because God hears our prayer. He knows our deepest desire and He will guide us to His Purpose.

"May we shout for joy when we hear of your victory, flying banners to honor our God. May the LORD answer all your prayers." ~ Ps 20:5