I have a dream..

I have a dream. Where one day my church hall will be filled with people.. Not just the youth (even though that is my ministry) but people from the very young babies to the super senior citizens. They are here not to please anybody but God alone. They are here not to judge anybody but to love God and His people. They are here to fullfill not their desires nor their passion but to fullfill the calling of God and the His desire that God has set upon their lives! They are not here to fill in the emthy places but they are here so they can reach out to the world outside these walls!

I have a dream.. where everyone that was hurt are healed. Where everyone that was in pain have found peace. Where everyone in doubth have found focus. Where everyone that is lost, found meaning. Where everyone with bondages be set free! Where everyone that is proud be humble. Where everyone that is timid have courage! Where everyone with a past will have a bright future! Where everyone with a broken home found a loving family! Where everyone struggles becomes an opportunity towards maturity! Where everyone that has no confidence will learn to have confidence in the Lord!

I have a dream.. that everyone will know that they are loved by someone greater then the Universe, that they are loved by the ONE that created it in the first place... That everyone will be able to receive this love and live their lives to the fullest.. That even though circumstances may seem hard to overcome, they still have hope and that their future is in God's hand.. That everyone will trust in God and just do their best..

I have a dream.. because I believe God keeps His promises.. Thank you Jesus..

Am I any different? perhaps not.. but I am learning.. are you?

Coming of a new beginning... New challenges and new excitements.. Also a new level of responsibility and new level of stress.. haih.. and even though I am really doing my best.. I don't feel I have succeeded in doing anything much.. why ah? Is it because God is not blessing the fruit of my labour? Is it time to move on?

Many People don't like change.. I love Change.. Every time I finish my exams, I use to go home and do some spring cleaning and change my whole room to another setting.. Of course if Change is in our control, it is more fun.. But when we are not in control of change, we are very fearful, very confused, very worried.. Do I worry? Sometimes I do, but I don't worry for too long coz I know everything will be straighten out should we just continue to work on it and improve.. I don't understand why some people don't want to learn, or change for the better.. well.. perhaps it's just their choice lar.. but then don't they know that their decision will effect others? They think they can just do what ever they want? They think that others not suffering also meh? They think what they do can be enough meh? What ever you do will ever be enough! What ever I do will never be enough.. how can it be enough? when Man are selfish beings, only thinking of themselves.. so my question is how can we be different?

I can only count on God to help me keep my cool.. in everything I do.. I do not claim to be the best person you know but I do try, I give it my best and I do want to ask, "what do you want me to do already? Have I not done my best? har? What have you done to make anything different? You keep doing the same thing and expect things to change? Sorry lor.. You can nag or complain all you want but It's not going to change anything."

As the saying goes... Yes, the apple don't fall far from the tree.. but why can't we learn and be better then the original tree? We are human, not some vegetable! Learn lar.. do something productive. I am not a plant! I move on if I have to.. as long as it is God's will, I will do it. It is a privilege to live in God's will and even though sometimes life is hard but His will shall always prevail..

Am I any different? perhaps not.. but I am learning.. are you?

Testing testing

I wonder will this work.. Hello world!!!

Do you trust God?

Do you trust God??

Wanted to share the video here but I don't really know how.. so hopefully you will go to the link I ahve attached with the sentence.. Enjoy and reflect..

JESUS.......WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU REGARDLESS

LUST.......will leave you loveless
POWER.......will leave you heartless
DRUGS.......will leave you senseless
M0NEY.......will leave you comfortless
JESUS.......WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU REGARDLESS ♥

FB post by my good fren Jemyee.. :D

I WON!!!

I won the AVON write in contest from Comopolitan Mag!!! ahahaha.. worth RM250!!! ahahaha.. and you know what I actually got!!! 6 sticks of ip sticks.. =.="

What am I going to do with 6 Lipstick? my hubby told me that I can always give them away as gifts.. hey! It's still new and it cost me my effort to write and send in my contest! So, I have promised to share it to two of my frens in the office and one girl from youth :) I always like to give away good stuffs.. something like a santa clause (but I don't like santa! i mean, I dun hate the person but i just don't like him being the center of Christmas most of the time..) but ya.. My love language is gifts.. so to make me happy, very simple.. get me a gift :D and I realize that even spending time for me is also a type of gift, especially when it is my special day or even the worst day.. it is called the gift of time.. (it's different from quality time..which is new to me and yet makes sooo much sense.. )

It makes sense becuase I don't want to hang out ALL the time but I'd love to hang out during those special times.. It's is very depressing/sad when it's my birthday and it is forgotten.. well.. may be i just need to grow up and accept the fact that ppl aren't perfect :) thus! lowered my expectations and be more understanding.. (not more realistic.. but more understanding..) anyway... I am still shawered by gifts everyday from God.. His gift of nature and the morning sun always brightens up my day... a morning in the pool with my kids always makes me happy and contented.. and next I would like to go shopping.. thank you.. :P.. hahaha.. (ok.. go shopping and go clubbing is diff one ah ok? go shopping will never get you accidentally pregnant! but go clubbing might..I rather perfer my children go shopping then go clubbing lor..)

From Avon gifts to shopping n clubbing.. apelar.. LOL.. ok lar.. stop here for now..

Sarah Kay: If I should have a daughter ...

This is really cool!! I should start with expressing myself via words.. wait.. I am doing that :D just not saying it out loud.. rather i just rant it over here in my blog. Just wanna share this as it is very interesting.. Thanks to Eric who shared it on FB.. her voice sound very sweet and according to Eric.. she is hot! LOL.. I love the title.. "If I had a daughter.." perhaps I can write one for my little girl Melissa.. and tell her the things I want her to know as my daughter and even one for my son.. :D but i guess, one pharagraph would not be enoughto describe what I wanted to share to them.. :) Yet.. it is a great idea.. I got a journal for them both.. may be that would be enough? my hand written journal of them and for them.. (some about me and thier daddy and our family.. ) Typing it would be faster and more neat.. but they will not see my un-neat hand-writting lor.. :P.. well.. they can read here and they can read from the journals lar.. :)

I am not judging you but seriously.. think before you act lar..

Some one wrote this on their FB status "Feel wanna go clubbing, dance n hav fun. Bt got foc de kah?"

I was tempted to reply her "mama of two wonderful bb.. "sang sin did" lor.. mama d still wanna go clubbing? should hv tot of it before u got pregnant..."

What makes my statement worst is that she got pregnant out of wedlock, before marriage, but thank God she can still marry the person that got her pregnant.. so ya.. my statement sound very cruel.. thus I didn't post it..

BUT seriously?? What kind of signal are you sending to other mothers especially young mothers? or even younger girls?? or even your children next time?? Don't we have the responsibilty to be responsible? Now that you are a mother. You have more responsibility ler? Never think one ah?? really should have think about our actions before thinking of wanting to go clubbing lor, right? You ask me "wht is wrong with wanting to go clubbing?".. First, it shows that you are not ready to have children for you do not think of sacrificing your own pleasure for them.. worst still clubbing!? You say dance not too bad.. Clubbing?? Find lar a better thing to do rather then clubbing.. can ah?? second.. you know what is the meaning of clubbing or not? if you do, you seriously want your two dugthers to follow your footsteps?? tell me.. seriously?? That could may well be the reason you got pregnant in the first place!! GGgrrrrrrrrr!!!~~~ Why have you not learn from your mistakes?

A lot of ppl out there may be cursing me for sharing my opinion, but let's be honest.. come on.. Don't you think you need to think before you act? Even before you get angry with me? You may even say I should think before I post this post and I'm telling you I have and I cannot accept the thinking of a person who is now trying to raise two beautiful young girls wanting to go clubbing one free night... I don't care about you can afford it or someone can take care of your kids or your husband allows or you are going with a bunch of girls..

If you have not grown up to raise a family or children, please think twice before you have sex. Other ppl will say "Never heard of protection meh.. The point is that you want to go clubbing! at your current status and responsibility, you should not have that desire so you should have thought about that before you got pregnant! That is what I am saying! ah?" ha! You think you know how to use it the first time ah? Even the first time also you can get pregnant one.. Never learn in your science class is it? Now i'm telling you lar.. To the boys, keep your hands to yourself everytime you are on a date! Guys is activated by sight then touch.. and girls, don't simply allow a guy to touch you anywhere.. it's not helping... that whatever romantic feeling u are feeling, i can tell you it is not love! It's call hormones! It's call passion! but it is not love..

Anyway... that is another topic lar.. haih.. just please.. stop indulging in things of your youth that will not benefit u nor ur family... especially when you have children to raise.. having them is s huge responsibility.. it's far more then having puppies..

Awesome quote...

I try to give to the poor people for love what the rich could get for money. No, I wouldn't touch a leper for a thousand pounds; yet I willingly cure him for the love of God. -- Mother Teresa

TheAsiaSpa.. can't wait for my turn!!!

I wanna go for a massage with my frens!!! :D

TheAsiaSpa I am so looking forward to it!! anyone else wanna go with me?? only 3 days to buy the coupon!! ahahaha..

I know many will think that it is a waste of money.. but living in a stressful part of town, to keep myself sane.. I do need some me time.. spending time with God in the morning is one of those me time that I need and another is the quite time with me-self or a friend chatting away.. :)

Just wanna share something nice.. :D Who ever got the coupon! Enjoy it!!

How can you help your gay child????

DON'T WORRY.. I'm not saying my son or daughter is gay.. (grandparents, family and friends don't get over excited ya :) It's just a topic that I read through a mother's forum the other day.. Some of the comments really strike a heart string of (i could say) anyone/everyone who reads it.. How they would accept their children eventhough that is the child's decision to live their lives like tt.. I am not sure if I can be that strong.. :(

I am sure Mother Teresa don't mind who she serve, Martin Luther King have compassion for them and Jesus love them... but to give birth to a child you nurture, educate and love, and then come to tell you that he/she decides to live that way.. will break my heart and shattered it to bits.. It is not bad or evil, it's just wrong. Just like how disobeying our parents (that is in the Lord) is wrong.. why is it wrong? It's just wrong in God's eyes and I know that is not what God wants them to do..

I wrote this to a young girl the other day about Jesus's love... that if we notice, Jesus loved His disciples most becuase He stay with them, eat with them, talk to them, share personal revelation with them etc etc.. but for the crowds, He loved them too but He did not stay with them through out His ministry.. He stayed for a few days and then leaves becasue He has to serve others.. THEY didn't follow Him either.. His diciples followed Him and some of His disciples left Him and only 12 remain at one time.. Yes, Jesus dine with the sinners, eat with them, visit their home, talk to them etc.. Even Peter Simon is also a sinner (one who broke Jesus's heart by denying Him 3 times..) and God is a God of second chances but we have to know that who has the upper hand to know more about the Kingdom of God comparing the two (Disciples and the Crowds)? I'm sure you already know the anwer...

so my question is this.. You want to be the crowd that knows that Jesus love them or His diciples, who loved Him by following His commandments.. I'm not asking you to be perfect. I only ask that you follow Jesus and don't tell me Jesus ask you or MADE you gay..

So how I can help?

TO be honest.. I can only hope and pray that my children will not face this problem.. becuase I know it is hard, I WILL NEVER be able to help my children overcome this, only God can.. As for me, God ask me to dicipline, teach, instruct and rebuke them throught the word.. and love them.. I will CHOOSE to love them no matter what!!! (YOU HEAR ME!!! I love you no matter what!!!) but I know God cannot use them in His Kingdom and what ever blessings that is due to them, will be given to someone else who follow Jesus... (when I talk about blessings, it is not of this world.. we can sometimes only receive our blessings when Jesus comes back and create a new world..because I have seen, in this world, there is no justice, no real peace, even a good man will die in cruel death but I have hope. That my prince of Peace will be sitting on the Throne of Glory! All that has suffered in His name will be redeemed and restored.. my hope is in you, Lord.. )

So it is either you are the crowd or you are Jesus's disciples..

you choose. your choice. your responsibility.

What I have learn today..

Each of us must decide daily to love or not to love our spouses. If we choose to love, then expressing it in the way in which our spouse requests will make our love most effective emotionally.. - Gary Chapman Author of The 5 Love Languages..

I am sorry...

I am sorry for not being caring enough.. Let me learn to be a better listener..

DIGIdearmalaysians

When neighbours disagree ...

http://www.todayonline.com/Singapore/EDC110808-0000102/Number-of-neighbour-disputes-hit-high

Not sure will you go read this online.. ahaha but aiyo... like tt also want to complain meh?? the curry incident especially.. adn the kids screaming.. alamak... kids mar.. sure cry and scream one lar, just the level of it lor.. What happens to being tolerance and understanding? The neighbours should get to know each other lor.. :(

No wonder my Muslim neighbour moved out.. coz i got 2 dogs?haih.. could be.. I am sorry but we have tried to keep them quiet.. and they are most of the time..

I love the smell of my neighbours cooking.. it makes me wanna cook too :D as for the screaming children.. as long as it's not abuse (must go and check one..) it's ok lar.. What do u expect from little children? (This only happens after you have your own kids.. LOL.. I was critical too until I have my own.. then only I understand..)

Case Study 2 :

You are leading 100 people in a survivalist situation, when suddenly your lives are in danger and you must choose between two courses of action.

-One would cause 10 of the people to die and everyone else would live.

-One would have a 70% chance of saving everyone but were it to fail then everyone would die.

Which would you choose?

I will pray.. different situation takes different solutions at that time.. God's wisdom is truly needed.. I will not gamble with life with either one unless it is God' instruction..

But off hand, I would choose the first.. to ask 9 more ppl to sacrifice their life in order for the rest to live.. because that is what Jesus did.. He died so every else can live.. A lot of times, that is what I see we needed to do, to sacrifice (in obedience) in order for others to live.. In society, in the work place, in the church, in our family...

If you see that the group of ppl is 100 christian then yes, all of us will not mind dying together. One heart, one spirit, united in the Lord.. but what if 100 ppl represent the world population? which means it's consist of diff kinds of ppl, race, faith, age etc... Do we expect everyone to understand why we decides to endanger everyone lives? Would we be willing to see those unsaved burn in hell when we could have given them sometime to believe in Jesus and be saved?

It is easy to decide when that 100 ppl are all faithful Christians.. but if not, I would rather risk my life for those I love and still not saved.. wouldn't you?

Would we die with Jesus?

Fast and prayer for change starts now!

I know that when we fast and pray we should not make it a big deal.. and I'm not but I want to encourage my fellow frens, especially the younger ones to keep up the good work and stay focus on what we are praying for...

The first day of our prayer item yesterday was sooo relevant and it is to pray for our Pastors and Elders.. I've shared on Saturday Youth meeting that our church leaders need to be up hold in prayer and avoid having the misleading though that "oh. leaders can take care of themselves, they don't need us or our prayers...".. The Leaders need everyone especially their members to be supportive and backing them up especially during tough and striving times.. Leaders are human and we make mistakes too. so don't treat us like superman or God that can do everything perfect.. we do try and our expectations of ourselves is higher and yes, sometimes we do have pride, forgive us.. We are all still learning and running the race.. We hope to see our pastors and leaders continue to run this race and serve His church for a very long time.. We do not want to see anyone give up! To my dear pastor and wife, please do not give up on us! We may have caused you pain or dissapointments but forgive us and give us and others a chance to be good to you the best way we know how.. That is to live the calling of God that we have in our lives and to serve His ppl as a family in Christ..

Today we are praying for Unity.. It is essential for every body in Christ to be united in His spirit and in His word.. Let's learn to appreciate one another, appreciate our differences and love each other.. It hurts when I see the body of Christ scarttered and worst feel hurt by each other.. That is how we took the bait of Satan and he is laughing at our unforgiveness... remember the bigger the forgiveness, the more freedom we will recieve! That is such a blessing!! Take it from someone whol have experienced it.. it's really a blessing.. It is such a freedom! XD

Let's continue our walk with God.. Gambateh everyone!!!

Thumb sucking is not so bad after all...

wow.. this is what I've learnt today!

Cathy: Thumb sucking is important for self-regulation & is recommended by experts such as Dr Brazelton (well-reknown Paediatrician). Its rare for a child to continue sucking past toddlerhood, and, according to what I've read, as long as they stop by age 5, it shouldn't impact on teeth development. Although its easier for us to wean them off their soother (pacifier), its better for them to learn to regulate their own emotions themselves whenever possible.

I really didn't know that! Now i know why some ppl actually thinks that it is good for my son and daughter actual suck their thumb or finger rather then having a pacifier.... huh? go figure eh? ahaha but then again.. it is easier to get rid of a pacifier than the thumb/fingers.. :P

Ayrton Senna..

Senna's grave, with the inscription "

Nothing can keep me away from the love of God"

I watch this movie about the career or life of Aryton Senna the other day with Nigel.. It's all the Video clips of Ayrton from the media and some home video from his own family (i guess so..)
So it was like seeing him personally from the lens.. it's really him and not some actor, acting out his story, but seeing the actual person's face and his expression.. the determination and drive, desire that he has really inspire me! He is a person who strife for excellence in his driving and even though he was from a wealthy family, he did not just buy himself up the ladder.. He knows that to gain TRUE respect, He has to earn it! He won that respect with hard work and talent that he has..

The best thing about him is that he loves God and he has always been critisized by others about his believe.. saying that it is dangerous to believe in such a thing.. but Senna did not back down.. he continue to give glory to God and heard him saying in the video.. "this experience made me get closer to God and that is what I really need/want.." He reads the bible when ever he had the chance to.. even when he was travelling from one place to another for a race.. he will read the Bible to sought out God's strength..

F1 is a dangerous sport and Senna was the last person to have been killed during a race in 1 May 1994.. I didn't watch that part.. Nigel n I knew that I would cry.. coz it's really sad to have to see such an excellent person go.. After his death it was discovered that he had quietly donated an extremely large portion of his personal fortune(estimated at around $400 million) to aid poor children in Brazil..

Senna is really inspirational.. I hope he is with the Lord now in peace and in great joy that he indeed ran the race well.. :')

brings back memories...

Do you remembering during your childhood years.. the things you really like to do and to have? :D I remembered when I was very young, I love to play with this animal biscuits.. I love to guess what animal is it and tell it to myself (since no one was there to hear me out.. :P mom was too busy with work and house chores..)
TURTLE!!!!! i love it!! I always eat the head first.. then the legs and the tail so after that's all done.. it's like a round/oval shape appearing.. ahahahaa.. kesian the turtle..

Fish!!! hmm... yummy!

I most fav animal! Moew~~ I find that among all the animal designs, the cat is the most special ones.. coz it is shaped as though it is sitting down.. while other animals are just on the side and flat.....

My weird creation.. LOL..

Can this be substitude for wan tan mee's mee?

From the looks of it below.. CAN!... but the taste..... hmmm... NO!!!!! yuks yuks yuks.. lol

Looks good hor!!.. ahahahaa but taste weird lor.. coz i use the soba mee.. It's already a bit salty so when I add in the soy sauce and other ingredient.. it makes the whole thing taste really weird.. ahahahaha.. kesian my hubby..

Coz he has to finish the whole bowl!!!! :D but he couldn't even force himself to eat it up.. akakaa.. never mind.. this is what failure means.. THAT YOU CAN TRY AGAIN NEXT TIME!!! :D and let your hubby suffer a bit more, and when you succeed!!! He will be the first one to jump for joy and celebrate! akakakaka...

Cutie pie Melissa!!!

I just love this photo! ahahah I dunno how a veggie can be shaped like a heart and it settled right on my princess's face so I can take photo of it... aheheehee..

So adorable... haih... soon you will be all grown up and in no time.. we'll be going out shopping together, having tea together, chats about guys, your future, your dreams... hmm.. that day will come :) and mommy is patiently waiting to enjoy those days together with u...

Mean while.. let us just enjoy our lives now together as adult n baby... where i protect, nuture, care, love, provide, teach, discipline, guide and show you how much life have to offer.. most of all, how much Jesus had offered..

Alexander's Master Piece!

LOL... apeni??? cacing? spaghetti? signature? Tikus?

Treat from my new friend-- Daphnie :D

She always brings something nice from home for us to try ahehehee.. this one, eventhough is her leftovers, I gladly consume it with a greatful heart and a joyful tummy.. LOL.. Thanks Daphnie for the treat!! Yummy yummy yummy oh! I ate them all!!! and you know how i eat.. right??? :D I eat a lot a lot a lot of rice one.. and she knows it.. ahahaha.. she brough fried banana n popiah after her afternoon meeting before as well.. Hmm... nice ler.. expensive but nice.. :D I will remember to take more photos the next time ahahaha.. Food food food! Glorious food!!!

Meet my uncle and Auntie from Sabah..

My Uncle John and Auntie Jane from Sabah... LOL... My own father have never fed my children before.. and here my uncle is happily doing so for Melissa.. Both of them really love children i guess.. Looking at them gazing at Melissa melts my heart.. reminds me of the time when I was little and they looked at me with such loving gaze... :')
My Uncle John is really a loving person.. kind and caring.. Even Nigel can see how wonderful my uncle is.. and my auntie Jane always keeps him honest and true.. reminding him to be on the right path and encourage him that there is a God watching~~ akekeeke... They are just so down to earth... No uncle in my family dares to scold me coz they don't have the right too, to be honest! But my Uncle John does... when he scold, i listen :P I had too! I respect him too much..

I love this two people.. They mean a lot to me.. why? because when I was very young and my father wasn't around to love and care for me.. They would take time and bring me out once a while and care for my well being.. I always looked forward to meet them during the weekends! :D I was just hmm... kidergarden to primary school of age? I think??

Sometimes after church or when they picked me up in the morning (sat) we'll go to have breakfast at Pasar Tuaran.. we have long chats and at that time.. they were still a couple.. and the things they talked about are really funny and sweet... ahahaha... u know lar.. lovers mar...

I think among all the uncles that i have.. I respect my uncle John the most.. Even Nigel thinks he is really respectable and honorable.. he is kind, stern, caring at the same time loving. He loves my Auntie Jane very much.. a lot of people especially among the Bumiputra ppl may say he is scared of his wife but to me.. it is something they will never learn and never understand how important it is to any family and relationship to have tt loving fear... It is fear, but not the type that harms one's freedom.. it is fear that someone he loves dearly will be hurt, feel sad or feel disappointed.. that kind of fear is out of love.. it is out of strength and not timidity... It takes a lot to do what he has done for his wife and his family.. Haih.. many bumiputra men will never understand how noble his action is..

I pray that God will grant him not only long life but also happy, joyful and full of loving memories throughout his life.. That his children and his childrens' children will call him blessed. May his life shine the light of Jesus in his words and action.. may he brings honor to his family and all his generation to come.. Bless him Jesus and make him one of the happiest ppl in the world.. :) Give him n Auntie Jane long life and good wealth.. bless all thier children with respect, honor and wisdom in the Lord.. in Jesus name, amen...

Fun time with CPY

CPY meetings is so much fun!!! ahahaha.. we laugh and play and enjoys each others company all the time..
We aint perfect but we can rejoice in our differences and choose to accept and love each other..
We are serious with what we belive in and we don't fall for anything..

Everything that we do we do it for the Lord..

and I hope i say this for all the CPY members to all the ppl out there that...

Jesus loves you.. He really really loves you... would you love back??

Awesome Bak Zhang from MIL...

There were 18 Bak Zhang made by my MIL and do you know how long it takes to finish it?

1 DAY!!! :D we had it for breakfast, lunch and dinner!!! sooooo yummy!!!!

When I was eating it.. I didn't though about taking photo of it! I just want to keep eating :D it taste soooo nice!!!

Some of the Bak Zhang I help tie one.. but hor.. very lousy work ler.. ahaha but i tried my best and keep at it.. at least i help tied up a few lor in the end.. ahehehe... This time i really ate a lot coz I've not eaten Bak Zhang for a very long time :( like years! and good and nice Bak Zhang is sooooo hard to find now.. and it's sooo expensive ler the nicer ones!!! I wanna learn how to make next time!! It's actually really hard work lor.. really tidious and time consuming..

MIL teach me please? :D I'd like to learn all the steps.. I'll never be as good but I know I will improve.. pray pray I'll get the chance and the time to really learn and really cook it...

One thing I've learn today..

If you will make the decision that you don’t mind being inconvenienced or interrupted, God can use you.-Joyce Meyer

To be honest.. I HATE BEING INTERRUPTED! If you know me since I was young, especially my best best friend Josephine Chang can tell you.. that I hate, really hate being interrupted by anyone especially when I'm focusing on doing my maths! LOL.. I remembered getting soooo angry and worked up because she interrupted me while I was doing my maths homework in class.. I literally shouted at her and she got a shock of her life! but she waited for me to finish my one question and then i turned to her and apologized.. I was sorry but I really cannot stand it when someone broke my chains of thoughts!! I get very very frustrated about it!.. I was like on a roll adn suddenly you stop me.. AAArrrrrrrggggggg... I'm very "pek ceh" one lor.. So, in the ends, she understands and have never interrupted me while I was busy doing my maths homework.. (i know what you are thinking.. Home work lar.. do at home lar.. LOL) It's my personal preference lar to do it in school.. aiyo..ahahah doesn't matter :) it's ok..

but when I looked at my life.. I think I've been pretty much interrupted because of the choices that I've made and the doors that was closed/opened to me. It has been really different in how I have planed my life to be.. I think I have never regretted any of my decisions and the choices I've made... well.. some mistakes yes lar.. I've paid for my mistakes but thank God it's not a huge one... my God is a God of second chances! (or 70x70x7 chances too) I don't even know how I got here today... I just know what I need to do then and just do it.. Where ever God leads me, I will go.. Some of us think too much, some of us think too little.. I like to consider myself thinking just right :D ahahahaha.. Shalom to everyone!!!

Happy moment picture!

ahaha.. We had fun didn't we! I love every min serving in this ministry.. Many ppl told me that it's hard and teens are hard.. but when you love them enough, you'll just enjoy every min of it.. especially the personal times you spent with them.. Children will bring you much joy, we just need to be patient, love them and believe in them.. something I am still learning everyday and loving it..
Thank you for a wonderful birthday this year..

"Those were the days" moment...

Should I get angry with this?

AAHAHAHAAAAA!! I could only laugh when I saw it.. coz he was like showing me his master piece! talking talking pointing pointing.. telling me wht is it all about .. (as if..) LOL.. Aiyo.. I dun have the heart to tell him that this was bad behaviour coz he was only executing his creativity.. It's not really bad behaviour, it's just curiosity.. the only thing that I need to do is to teach him to clean up his mess lor.. but in this case, he didn't do much... Nigel cleaned it up for him.. ahehehe.. Look at him.. he is just so happy playing with the powder.. ah.. these will be those " Those were the days" moments... :)

ahahaha mistake mistake..

I know you must be wondering why am I posting this here.. you see the date? VALID FROM 16th - 31 May 2011? This magazine was June 2011 publication :P

If you were the boss.. what would you do to the person who overlooked this matter? If you were the boss who overlooked this matter, what would you do? If you were the one tt overlooked and you are not the boss.. how? ahehehe..

The word 'Should' ahhehehe...

ahahahaa.. i know i 'Should' just keep my opinions to myself.. but remind me to have wisdom everyday I get older.. Let me learn new things and grow stronger in wisdom and righteousness..

I know a lot of young ppl out there believe and know what I am saying BUT be cautious of your attitude towards the elders. Dun be rude, disrespectful or ignorant.. No matter what, everyone needs to be respected.. to do that is to be humble and teachable, even when you think you know everything, you can still learn from an older person.... listen first, don't judge the 'wrinkled filled face' by it's cover :) we may learn a thing or two...

Things I learn today..

I'm glad I'm still learning at my age.. don't you? LOL.. if i'm not learning ah.. then you'll be stuck with this Old n Stale Susana for the rest of your life!! akakakaka.. so if we do not want to be old and stale like ikan masin.. Love to learn, and learn to grow, and grow in love..
So what Have I learnt?(I'll just copy it from the booklet lar.. ahahah)

"A fool is an individul who makes choices as if GOD doesn't exist and who lives as if God hasn't spoken."

"God owns life, and He merely loans our earthly existence to us. At any time He can call in His Loan.."

"He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose."

"..disciples face another folly, the folly that says "God doesn't care."

"There is an implication here that worry is one of the besetting sins of Christ-followers."

1) Worry is foolish (Luke 12:22-24)

2) Worry is futile (12:25-28)

3) Worry is faithless (12:29-31)

"Worry is the product of an inadequate understanding of our Father."

WOw!! I know right!? I got a slap on my face as I was reading through this booklet titled "Jesus' parables about Money." I know what I know, and now I need to live what I know :) I only read half of the booklet.. will share more when I finish it..
Thank you Jesus for your word and wisdom..

My fav photo in the month of May!!!

Melissa in the pool.. playing and splashing away..

She is soooo cute!.. I can't stop thinking and talking about her.. ahhaaha..

Grow up healthy and strong, wise and joyful in the Lord Melissa!

Mommy, daddy, gor gor n Jesus loves you very much!

ps: You may not remember this Melissa, but your daddy n gor gor Alexander will give you a kiss goodnight everytime you go to bed oh.. and you will always reply them with a wave.. :) Mommy will sing for you before you go to sleep.. kiss you and lay you down to sleep..

This is the lovely gift my Youth gave me this year! Awesome right?

This is really nice.. I keep it safe and I will bring it this sat to show to Rebecca.. She have not seen it yet wor.. Got my old Corbis photos somemore.. which I dunno how they got em..
I wonder wht they mean by Spotty..hmm.. my face got a lot of spots?? akakaka.. may be?

This Elijah some more gave me softdrinks which only my hubby n kids drink.. I got drink but less lar.. but anyway.. he owe me akakakaka.. :P the thought that counts right! Absolutely! love it! My birthday this year has been pretty special eventhough I dun get to go out and enjoy much.. but it has been very very memorable and I'm just so greatful for everyone who remembered.. I thank God for everything that He gave me! I am truly blessed! XD

Recent happenings??..

So many things is going on right now.. and I have no time to up date my blog.. :P well.. where do I start ah... may be I can just summarize my activities in a few point forms.. (I will try not to be too long winded.. wakakaka..)

1) I've started working! Photolibrary brand at the moment but it will be Getty soon because Getty already bought over Photolibrary.. in the transition period.. :D good exposure ahahaha.. more pay too! (I hope and pray.) of course more responsibilities, stress and expectations.. (what else is new right?).. I know I can manage it, coz Jesus is the one who provided this job for me and I will do my very best geh..

2) I miss my children a lot lor... :( I realize that Alexander has grown up so much while I was away.. May be I take note of him more than usual :P he wants to go to sleep early( most of the time before 10pm, early lar tu), then brush his teeth in the morning, willing to eat a bit more (not a lot lar.. but a bit more lar i think..).. He can sit on the adult toilet and do his business.. ahahahaaha.... Melissa ler.. she will sleep hor.. at around 8pm!!! ahahaha right after a little bit of rice and a bottle of milk then she will go tidur d.. she smiles sometimes with her teeth showing and eyes closed. so cute!!! ahahaha like a cute fake smile! adorable lar she!!! she can climb up the sofa d.. ahehehe.. and she fell this morning but not serious lar, she cried hard and loud though.. girl mar.. :) Nigel is still trying his best get use to the schedule at home.. cooking and cleaning a bit.. I still help one, don't think I dun help.. I sometimes cook in the morning too (soup and veggies, which Nigel dun like to eat akakkaa..)

3) Youth has been very very active and independent, which means they organize outing on their own and meet up regularly on other time besides Saturday afternoons. Thus, more personal time spend with each other lor.. "Awesome" is the new in-word among them but dunno change d or not.. then 7 of them are in Timothy leadership class conducted by Pastor Jeffrey.. (Thank you so much for taking the time to conduct the class..) The youth leaders are also more involve in planning for the schedule of each Q starting from 2011.. I'm so proud of them as they are taking more responsibility and ownership in this ministry, some, even without being the leader but leading through good example and influence.. On the sat before my birthday, they even surprised me with a, to me, ceremony of honor-- some of them fed me cake.. while some of them actually washed my feet and shared encouraging words.. They even made me a very very nice (scarp book :D super nice and special to me.. Thank you guys (and gals)!! I loved it!!!

4) Called home.. how i miss my home town.. called my step dad and my relatives recently.. seeing their status on FB (the younger generations) is really nice.. How they are, what have they been up to etc.. ahehehe.. I hope and pray that I can go home end of the year.. I wish to bring my whole family back, but if really not possible then I can only bring one of my little darlings lor..

I think that is all gua.. God has been good.. even until now God has been so so good to me.. I join Photolibrary also because God ans my prayer in a way.. open a door to me when other door was closed :) but i know thar door will open again later in my life.. just not now :D What ever it is, like I always say.. Give our best (in doing what is right and according to His will) and let God do the rest. Honor God and God will honor you.. I may not have a perfect life nor am I perfect myself.. but I have a perfect God, with that I can rest assured that I am in good hands always...

(ppsstt... my perfect God loves you!!! would you love back??)

why oh??? :(

Why is my blog's spacing like this one?? soooo ugly :(

God Speaks to Correct Us by Joyce Meyer - posted April 28, 2011

God Speaks to Correct Us

by Joyce Meyer - posted April 28, 2011

The Lord corrects and disciplines everyone whom He loves.
—Hebrews 12:6

We all need to be corrected at times and I believe God's desire is to speak to us and do the correcting Himself before using other people or situations to correct us. Correction is one of the most difficult things to receive, especially when it comes through others, so God prefers to first help us deal with matters privately. But, if we do not know how to let Him correct us privately or will not receive it, He may correct us in more public ways.

One time we were ministering in a foreign country. I was in a restaurant trying to convey to the waiter what I wanted to eat, but he did not speak much English and I did not speak his language at all. Frustration soon became evident in my attitude and tone of voice. I was behaving poorly in front of people who knew I was in that country to minister and, of course, my example to them was important.

I knew I had behaved badly, but God wanted me to really know, so when Dave and I returned to our hotel room, Dave mentioned the incident and said I had not set a good example for others.

Although I knew he was right, and I knew God was using him to make sure I fully realized how important my behavior is, my inclination was to point out that Dave had acted similarly before. Had I done that, I would not have genuinely received the word of correction and then God would have had to correct me some other way—perhaps in a way that would have been more embarrassing or painful.

Begin to pray and ask God to help you receive correction from Him and to help you recognize when He is sending correction through others, knowing it is always for your good.

God's word for you today: Don't resist God's correction.

Cactus..

My brother in law took this photo many years ago.. I use to plant many cactus becasue my mom is good at planting them and bring them them to bloom beautiful flowers for her.. I mean, her cactus bloom so often that it would seems like they show gratitude by blooming.. ahahaha..

..

I dun think I am a good gardener compared to my mother.. but I do enjoy it :D but I'm better working with crafts then with flowers I supppose.. I dun speak plants and I think my mother did.. ahahaha..

..

It does looked lovely.. the little pots and cute cactus.. when they bloom for me, I feel like I'm on top of the world.. :D it's special to me..

So do you like gardening? huh?

Building blocks..

Took this photo from my church.. where all the little kid would take toys, balls and other stuffs to throw and play in a small room! Sometimes my little ones will take one of these blocks and puts it in their mouth.. haih.. it's hard to keep them out of trouble.. but I do try :P

When ever I see blocks.. I always remember them being the building blocks.. building blocks of their imagination, foundation and education.. They play with these, they learn to play with these in the beginning stage of their lives and later on, they may even use the block's alphabets to spell!! ahahah..

..

One of my fren ask me Why have I not taught my children the basic knowledge of Christianity.. alamak~~~ My son can't even talk properly and you want me to teach him the what??? ahehehee.. dun stress them lar.. (dun stress me also.. ahahaha) I know in this challenging and demanding world tt we live in, we ever so often tried to compete, compare and do our best for our kids.. but really? I rather they learn how to burst their teeth first before learning to appreciate God's goodness becasue at the age they are in, they cannot fully understand much..

..
You may think I am worldly.. LOL.. I just think that we do what we can and don't compare ourselves with other ppl.. If we are better then average ppl then we can praise the Lord, if we are below then we need to also praise the Lord.. just do our best according to the strength and faith God has poured out into our spirit..

Fun time with Alexander... I can't stop laughing about it,,

I really like this video.. it really shows how much fun Alexander and I had that day.. we were all tired out after that bu it was sooo fun and funny.. When ever Alexander look at this video.. he himself will start to laugh and strat jumping as if he was in that video again.. I think he remembered the great feeling when we were there during this video was taken..
It was memorable and sweet.. I think we will keep going there until our kids is too big for this.. LOL..

A special gift for my Melissa..

On my darling Melissa's birthday... i got a special gift for her... Did I mentioned this on my blog before? LOL

I dun remember :P never mind lar.. I think I remembered telling it to 1 or 2 good friends though.. :)

Well, I was looking around for a nice gift for her 1 year old birthday.. may be you may be thinking that I'm being unfair coz I didn't really get anything for Alexander for his 1 year old birthday.. But he got more gifts from family and friends than his sister! That's why for Melissa I went to look for something special.. Something she can keep for a very long time, something valuable, something that represent her, something nice for rememberance..

I got her a Poh Kong gift! I saved up some money and got her a small gift.. Not too expensive, just a nice pendant..

Eventhough we may be a bit tight and that I still held a birthday party for her at KFC (same as her brother, to be fair).. I want to give the best that I could for her.. of course for Alexander n hubby too.. sometimes I will take out thier gifts (gifts from me, daddy or other family n frens) and think about those ppl tht had given it so generously.. and most of all, how much Alexander and Melissa will love and cherish them as they grow older.. (I hope they will!! coz they have so much more then their mommy or daddy had!) and every little gift counts.. the love and the thought from family and friends is precious and we should always remember the goodness and kindness they have shown..

I suppose I'm a sentimental kinda person.. but i dun keep things tt is too old.. to be honest.. I dun even have any toys that I keep from my childhood times.. I think it is because... it's all broken.. Thus, I dun keep broken toys.. (No point ler..) some nice a valuable things, can keep nicely.. Broken ones.. throw away lor.. Just like memories i guess.. keep the good ones but throw away the bad ones.. To make rooms for better and more wonderful memories!! ;)

Melissa, if one day you were to read this post.. promise me that you will cherish the small little pendant ya? Eventhough it is small and not worth much.. I save up hard for it, for you to keep and to remember that I though about you everyday since you were born.. (a bit hard not too since I've become a stay at home mom after I gave birth to you.. ahahahaa.. but tt's not the point!!! :P the point is.. I love you.. very much.. even when you drive me nuts sometimes..) I love you my dear Melissa..

Chill...

Aaahhhhhhh~~~~~~

Doen't it looks refreshing!!! Hmmm...
As if I can state the sweetness of the Cendol, coconut milk and gula melaka!

Awesome!!! Thank God for tastebuds!!

..but hor.. i will normally get tummy ache after a bowl of ice cendol :P

well.. a small price to pay when it's a hot hot HOT day!

Ahahahaah~~~~ I want!!!!!!

Woof nooze...

So cute right??

ahahahaah.. I took in 2005.. Long time ago eh?

Went for a dog show in Mine's wonderland near Sri Kembangan with Nigel, Joseph and Khai Sing..

Those were the days lar.. ahahaha. it was innocent years and relaxing times..

Where Nigel and I could just go for some dog shows, dog marathon, exhibitions etc..

Now cannot lor... may be when our children are older.. then we can go again :) and this time bring our kids ahahaha..

Now that would be fun!!!

Can't wait! Can't wait!!! Let's go and 'kai-kai'!! Jom 'Kai-Kai"! ahahaha

I miss you guys!!!

I dunno why the photo so blurr... but..

I MISS YOU GUYS!!! (Gals mostly...)

Hmm... peace n quiet...

I took a lot of photos here at Butterfly Park years ago with my friend Jane..

We just went there for a day trip and take photos.. LOL.. it was really a lot of fun..

I love most of the photos taken there.. and once a while I will take out some of it and

just remember the lovely flowers there..

Thanks to my Sister-in-law, her hubby n his family who bought hubby the camera..

If not, we wouldn't be able to enjoy the beautiful photos that I've taken all the years..

we are truly grateful and appreciate the wonderful gift..

We cherished all the photos we have and going to take :)

It's raining now.. It's gloomy outside.. and we can hear the thunder..

but we are warm and cozy inside our home.. with pillows n blankets around..
Alexander is asleep, Melissa is about, Daisy n Minnie taking a nap..

I'm here savoring the moment of serenity and peace..

I love the peace and quiet..

..but most of the time..

..Peace will do when there is no quiet..

~Thank You Lord~

I miss the beach...

I miss the beach!!! I miss visiting the beauty God has made for us to enjoy and cherish!!

I want to go for a holiday!! I want to get out of my daily routine life..

Not that I'm complaining, I love it most of the time..

It's just that I miss the calm and relaxing moment

the beauty of the world God had made for us to enjoy..

I just miss sitting under the shade, in the breeze on a beautiful evening..

with some tea and cakes in case I get hungry..

When I was a little girl, I always do tt when ever I get the time to, since I stayed next to a river and there are trees every where.. I remembered falling asleep on a fruit tree one afternoon.. (yes, ON the tree..) with the soft wind blowing gently and the sun shine brightly.. It was just beautiful and wonderful..

May be I'll get to enjoy that one day (soon) but even if I have to wait a long while..

I will.. coz it is worth it.. To be able to enjoy God's creativity and His beauty, is awesome..

I want to share the experience of loving and appreciating God's creation with my children..

and teach them to take care of the environment..

Because God made it for everyone to enjoy and remember His goodness and love..

Thank you Lord for your love for me.. it is so wonderful..

My Bacon n Cheese Bread Stick :D

Tadah!~~~

Forgiven...

On the day I realized I couldn't blog (post my write ups), I've actually written something about what someone said on FB that was very disturbing to not just me but to many others.. so you would understand how frustrating it is when after I have written a whole lot of stuffs, i couldn't post my write up!!! ahahaha but straight away i knew God didn't want me to post it.. It would not be right for me.. Not that I'm not right in my comments and facts.. just not right attitude and intention..

So, I choose to remain silent.. some of you know what I'm talking about while most will not. :D which is fine.. if you know about it then I can tell you that it is good to be silent at time and let God do what He has in mind to do.. for those who dun know what I'm talking about.. It's ok... no need to know since it does not concern you.. really.. I sometimes wish that i know less, but then again.. that can be a foolish request.. coz I rather know then be in the dark... right? :)

Anyway, If he is reading my blog.. I hope you know that I truly, sincerely and in all humility forgive you.. I dun want you to feel abandoned, left for dead nor unloved.. I'm sad to see the physical, emotional and spiritual condition that you are in now.. but I believe God will raise you up again one day and the promises He had for your life will be fulfilled.. I still believe that God will do whatever it takes to prepare you for what is coming.. refine you through fire and i hope this time you are really ready to fulfill His calling..
.
1 Corinthians 3:10-15
¹⁰ By the grace God has given me, (Paul) I laid a foundation as a wise builder, and someone else is building on it. But each one should build with care. ¹¹ For no one can lay any foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ. ¹² If anyone builds on this foundation using gold, silver, costly stones, wood, hay or straw, ¹³ their work will be shown for what it is, because the Day will bring it to light. It will be revealed with fire, and the fire will test the quality of each person’s work. ¹⁴ If what has been built survives, the builder will receive a reward. ¹⁵ If it is burned up, the builder will suffer loss but yet will be saved—even though only as one escaping through the flames.

You will survive this, I'm sure and rise up stronger I hope.. but in your heart, allow forgiveness for those you think have offended you. Just to let you know.. Many have been praying for you to come back to God and that love will again settle in your family.. You just dun have any idea how many have been praying for you and your family.. even on the first day they knew what you have done.. they pray a prayer of blessing for you and your family... and to see you judge them (which include me..) is hard and I can be offended too, but I choose to forgive you no matter what.. to say that I love you as my brother even though it is foolish and for some even stupid.. I'll do it for God's sake.. because He is my Lord of all.. I can forgive because He forgave.. and not more understand the price of forgiveness more then Jesus himself..

I hope you will understand the price of forgiveness too and not expect everyone, every human beings and every Christian are able to give it so freely... because forgiveness is really hard, it's really precious and really pure.. I hope you understand that and forgive..