2010 Resolutions..

Honestly..

I haven't got my in order yet.. I got some here and some there but not like as a whole yet..

I know one thing that I will do is that to pray more consistently.

Wht else...

Read and learn the Bible more intensely (more earnestly).

Read a book a month.. (read two in Dec already.. one is a daily devotion and another about Christmas...Now starting to read on The power of a praying wife and looking for other books to read..)

Spend sufficient time with family-Nigel and Babies.. (chat time, alone time, play time, relax time, reading time, prayer time etc)

Spend more sufficient time with Friends, via phone calls, snail mails, meeting ups, encouragements and prayer etc...

Spend sufficient time with my Sheeps, my 'young meh meh~~~" ahahahaha.. in prayer, in teaching and training, and in living..

As for work, More planning!!! and more consistency in prospecting new clients.

Be more organized and be more prepared.

Learn new skills/ideas in better getting new prospects..

To be continued... if i have the time too.. :P

The difference between two worlds...

Just realized my friend who is doing Amway are really enjoying life :D Glad that she is enjoying her life travelling to Korea, Hong Kong, Disneyland-HK (I think) etc..

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On the other side of the world...

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Another friend of mine who is doing missions to Sabah and the Orang Asli area in Malaysia also enjoying his trips there. Glad he is finding so much joy in what he does.. :D eating rat's meat for dinner, yam leave rice, Wild boar etc..

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Both are noble vocations, both helps ppl achieve their highest potential, both enjoys everything they do, but there is a very distinctive difference..

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One earns more than the other; one have more things than the other; one have more parties and high class dinners to go to than the other..

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I'm not condemning Multilevel marketing, please.. I'm writing this with no such intention.. I just merely want to highlight the difference between the two world..

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One focus on the temporary world while the other, Eternity. One focuses on pleasure while the other, Serves. One provide a peace of mind, while the other peace in the spirit. One offer enjoyment to the fullest, the other fulfillment of all life in God's purpose. One search for wealth while the other gives it away. One gives happiness while the other offers joy. etc..

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See the difference by now? If you are in multilevel marketing and making it.. good for you.. but dun forget there are more important things than money, success, recognition and popularity... There is another bigger world out there that you may not know yet and I hope you will see it soon before it's too late..

Beard Papa

Another great treat from Christopher Wong!!! He knows all the good stuffs.. yummy... This is expensive stuff too.. creamy eh? hmm... you should try it when it's warm and still soft.. wah!~~~ sooo... nice...

Golden in colour..

Look at the cream.. Yummy yummy yummy..

But I personally cannot eat a lot lar.. 1 enough d... very fillling geh..

Being too clean??

Want to thank everyone for their gifts and msg on Chistmas day!!! :D

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The best thing is that today (Boxing day) we ge to just stay home and chill~~~..

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Chill for Nigel, more cleaning for me LOL.. Which I think my kitchen needs some.. and perhaps the living room which I have already done most of it in the morning while looking after Alexander this morning.. Our toilets also need some work :P the cleaner the better.. ahahaha..

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We were talking about being clean yesterday.. who are we?? Me, Nigel, Sharon, Logan, Elaine, Julian and Han Then.. Nigel and Han Then just listen lar.. I also mostly listened.. while the other four debated on the fact on cleanliness... Wai wai and Kenneth was there too.. but they just observed and listen also lar.. ahahaha..

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So... is being too clean an illness?? LOL

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Went for a leadership training before and i clearly remembered it states that cleaning the house is...i dunno how to put it.. its like actions tt associates with over eating or dun eat at all, cry non-stop, gets up set and angry.. etc.. :P I remembered coz i love cleaning the house ahahahaha.. But I dun mind if once a while it's dirty coz we really couldn't keep it as clean as we love to.. Limited in energy and man power you see :P

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Of course loving cleaninese doesn't mean you love to clean the house.. but I suppose it is related coz we all complain about the place being dirty.. but again.. what they say about "the place" is rather... dirty.. sticky floors... snakes!!! (coz no one lives there basically for a longgggg time... only for CNY) insects every where.. Sounds a lot like my grand father's house in Tawau.. where i use to bath with at least 10 colouful spiders.. LOL.. got red lar.. blue, green also got.. i remembered it coz they sometimes comes too close.. I sat on a log while i bath with hot water looking up in case any of them decided to jump on me :P ahahaha.. interesting ei??

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Furthermore I rather spend time with my Alexander as much as I could now a days.. unless if it's too dirty like my kitchen right now.. i think i need to spend sometime cleaning it lar :D very dusty also.. What can I say.. I got 2 doggies living here too you know :P

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I wonder what Sharon and Elaine think of my place if they live here everyday?? :P Not so clean I suppose.. ahahahahaha.. what to do.. I got no maid.. no time.. no energy..

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But hor.. i think your children will love the experience living at "the place" LOL... like me staying at my grandfather's place with all the dirty insects all around, dusty and sticky feeling (they use wood to cook one ler.. no gas nor electricity.. load of fun there!!!)).. it would be a great story to tell when all grow up :D ahahaha.. I love those times.. it was precious!!!

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Spiders anyone?? :P

Chrsitmas time..

In the Christmas mood yet my friends??

Well I AM!!! ahahahaha..

Still, I love the time when I was just a child and it's the Christmas Eve service back in Tuaran, Sabah.. Where meeting up with members, family and friends was no trouble and it was just fun to be there on Christmas Eve and on Christmas day itself :)

Some churches still do tt especially the bigger ones I think, for a small church like ours, we encourage our members to spend some time with family members and touching their lives with meaningful gatherings :)

Our family however is far far away~~~ and the only family we know here in KL is our church and CG members.. which I pretty much want to spend the Eve with.. but Nigel is super tired this week.. taking care of Alexander and coping with work recently is a bit taxing I suppose.. so I must try to understand..

Tonight wanted to go Worship practice for Christmas day actually but Nigel didn't get enough rest yesterday so we better skip this time.. We are not on duty but I just want to go for the fun of it.. (i know.. you may think wht fun there is to practice songs right? ahahahaa to me.. it is fun.. meeting up with friends are always fun.. especially during this time and season)..

Anyway... thank you for understanding, my friends, whom we really wanted to meet but can't coz of physical limitations and family responsibilities.. Do know that we love you all and at this point of our lives we have much to handle.. (We only have our children for a few years, after tt they have have wings of their own and fly off!!!~~~) LOL... so as long as we could.. we need to nurture our family.. until we can let go of their hands.. (yes.. both of them) and let them run their own race :)

Making Peace..

Christmas is a time of Peace... :) and time for us to make peace with those who we hurt and those who have hurt us.

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Another sharing from "Devotion on the Run" by Jim:

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Leonardo da Vinci painted one of the great materpieces in the history of the world. This work of art is called The Last Supper. Few people know the story behind the creation of this famous painting.

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Da Vinci had an enemy who was also a painter. Right before da Vinci began to paint this picture of Jesus with His diciples, he had a bitter argument with his enemy. When da Vinci painted the face of Judas Iscariot, he used the face of his enemy as a reference so that his enemy would present for ages as the man who betrayed Jesus. While painting this picture, da Vinci took delight in knowing that others would actually notice the face of his enemy on Judas.

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He continued painting the faces of the other disciples and often tried to paint the face of Jesus, but he could not make any progress. DA Vinci was frustrated and confused. In time, he realized what was wrong. His hatred for the other painter was holding him back from finishing the face of Jesus. Only after making peace with his fellow painter and repainting the face of Judas was he able to paint the face of Jesus and complete his masterpiece.

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Is there a broken relationship in your life that needs mending? Pray that God will give you courage to take the next step towards reconciliation.

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Matthew 6: 14-15

For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. but if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

The wheels of the car goes round and round~~~~

New Beginnings

"If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." 1 John 1:9

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By Devotion on the Run (Jim Burns)

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At a conference of governors several years ago, an interesting question was raised: What is the greatest thing in the world? It was absolutely quiet. None of the governors had an answer. Finally a young aide took the microphone and said, "The greatest thing in the world is that we can walk away from yesterday."

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I'm not even sure if that young aide knew that she jad just summarized the essense of the gospel of Jesus Christ. The good news of the Christian faith is that we can walk away from yesterday. The apostle Paul could walk away form his perseci=ution of Christians and answer the call to Christ (see Acts 9). The woman caught in adultery could walk away from her destructive lifestyle into a new journey with Jesus Christ. (John 8). Matthew could walk away from his job as a crokked tax collector and follow Christ into a new life (Mark 2:14). The prodigal son could walk away from his life of moral failures in the far country and walk into the loving, forgiving arms of his father. (Luke 15)

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To walk away from the failures and guilt of yesterday rests at the very heart of forgiveness. This is no call to cop out, drop out or otherwise escape responsibility or the consequences of our choices. But it is liberating message that no one, absolutely no one, is tied to a past from which there is no release. The gospel gladly sings of the possibility of new beginnings. Aren't you glad you have been released from you past?

Breakfast all day long!!!

This is one of my favorite cafe.. coz they serve breakfast all day!!! the bread are always fresh.. and really nice... You all should come and try it.. Especially if your favorite meal is breakfast... like me :D

I still dunno wht's the name of this cafe but I know the one near Mont Kiara is called Collin Cafe? I think...

This is mine~~~ Nice ler.. ahehehehe... the bread's aroma.. hmmm... tempting..

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This was Jane's order... nice nice~~~

Some of the set meals comes with dessert which is tart and a cup of ice lemon tea.. refreshing.. Ha~~~

Do you see wht I see?? :D

Pray for Iraq..

My Client requested a search from me today and he needs me to look for image of Iraq that is war-free.

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That's really a challenge.. Not many images of Iraq is War-free.. so much destruction's and ruins in Iraq.. even the streets... wait.. WHAT STREETS??? most places have no streets!! I mean from the search that I have done in Corbis... The images made me really sad and I can't help but cry for the country..

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We Malaysian keep wanting to leave Malaysia because it's not good enough.. when I look at Iraq.. Even at their worst times, they don't want to leave their families behind.. They held their children, brothers, sisters, mother, father so tightly.. Even in the midst of war.. of pain.. perhaps they cannot escape, if they could they will not leave without their family..

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Corbis have the most provoking editorial images you could ever ask for.. The images it's just too real and the pain and suffering, too much for us that we could only imagine.

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Lifeless bodies lying everywhere and WORST!!!! their children crying next to them!!! And we here complaning about work, about our family, our country!!!!! Looking at the new born condition when they were born is so heart aching.. the hospitals are in such a bad shape... the cloth or should I say looks like raggs are grey, thorn and old.. Can you even imagine me holding my baby sitting on the street waiting for my husband to come home? Neither could I imagining that kind of life!

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I don't want to share the heart breaking images here, but if you are ready.. you can go to www.corbis.com and key in the key word Iraq and see for yourselves..

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Pray for Iraq my friends.. they need God...

My first Christmas gift from Hubby~~

Nice or not?? ahahaha.. Victoria Secrete.. You can check it out at www.vogueave.blogspot.com
It's not very expensive wor.. I thought the brand so well established the price would be pretty high but it's not :D

Another scent that I really love beside Delicate Petals would be Secrete Charm..

Love the rose scent... flower scent has always been my fav... how about u??? :D

For my young ones..

And Jesus said, "Come to the water, stand by my side.

I know you are thirsty, you won't be denied.

I felt every tear drop, when in darkness you cried.

And I strove to remind you that for those tears I died."

StarBucks for breakfast :D thanks to Corbis management..

On one special morning meeting, we have to come in early for a breakfast meeting.. and here was our breakfast!! yea!!!

Thanks to Christopher Wong who bought it for us.. It was nice... :D Thanks Chris!!!

I think I took Latte...

The muffins was superb!!! Haiyo.. so nice.. Yummy~~~

We bought many.. but just enough for all to take one.. ahahaha...

Obedience again...

For the past few weeks I keep reading and been listening to the same message..

OBEDIANCE

I am still thinking and praying to seek God and see that this message for me or others.. As far as I know I have been obeying as close as I possibly could with God.. but still I will look into the mirror and do a stock take of my life before I jumping into any conclusions or even say that it is for another..

Which passage I have been reading ah? Ok lar.. I share with you some of the passage..

Malachi chap 1 and 2 (finished the whole book d)

Isaiah chap 1 and 2 (in the process of reading the book.. )

Eccelsiates last few verses

(Something about Fear God, Just do what he tells us to do...)

Some from 2 Corinthians chap 6.. (I think)

If you get to read it.. please tell me how it would relate to me... or any message u receive from God on this that you think it could be for me..

My growing Child..

I do less for you, doesn't mean I don't love you..
I don't pay attention to you as much, doesn't mean I am being unfair..
To you I may be unjust, but I know this has to be done..
For you have given much but he needs me more now..

So I need to take care of him now, for his needs is more urgently..
When you need me more later, I will be there for you then..
But for now you are in God's hand only God is in control..
Mommy could only, as much as possible, take care of mommy's body..
So you will also grow well, in mommy's tummy..

I pray that as you grow up in our family.. along side with your elder brother..
You will not feel rejected, nor being treated unfairly..
For each child is different and we need to love each one of you differently..
We may show more attention to one of your siblings, but give you more freedom as we trust in your maturity..
With this we are not being unfair but just as the wisdom of God consume us..

I pray that you will know that you were never second best..
That's only the lie of the devil to come to kill,to destroy and to put you to death!
I will never allow the devil to win,
coz Our God is migthy and will save you from now till then..

My lovely babe understand this world..
That is it temporary, cruel, and so natural..
We need God in all that we do..
To please our Lord is the first priority for you..

I love baby.. grow well in mommy's tummy...

Today is a quiet and busy day.. make sense??

Today we only have 3 ppl in the office :D

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In the morning it was pretty slow and mandate... I did managed to plan to call for new prospect.. which I am very proud of doing as it was pretty fruitful.. and yes, it took me a long time to jsut call about 6-7 productive calls to new clients from the tearsheet our researcher had done for us.. Coming week, I will continue my new found passion... LOL

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Today I have also decided on sending a fedex 10kg box every week or twice a month to my Manager in SG to pass or mail to clients in SG.. By doing so I know I am at the same time building rapport and introducing Corbis to the new clients again.. Let them remember my friendly gesture and voice ahahahah..

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Getting the phone numbers to call on the new clients from the tearsheet is taking loads of my time actually... but I hope it will be worth it in due time..

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That;s work, after work.. went for a special church service... It was a great service which the speaker touch many lives.. God touched many lives through her sharing I mean.. it was a blessed night I believe.. Perhaps I should have gone up for a prayer but didn't; perhaps I too needed some encouragement but didn't ask for it.. yet I know God still speak through me and to me.. everyday... He touched my life with other ppl's stories and experience.. He touched my heart and soul that is dry at times and made it weep... refreshing actually.. :D

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Persecutions.... I wonder have I had enough of my share? or there are more to come? this word is not new to me.. but then it was not done in the Lord's name.. it was done to mould me and make me.. so I ask again.. Have I gotten my fair share of persecution? Is there more to come?

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I'm sure there will be.. because the road with Christ is narrow and only few will walk in it.. I only pray that firstly the ppl most important in my life will walk together with me.. selfish? perhaps.. but it is wrong to ask for this or have this desire? For God choose ppl to enter His gates too.. right? What more we who are mere mortals? Is it more noble to sacrifice our own family for the sake of others to know Christ? perhaps.. but with God's wisdom and power.. not man.. Coz when man do it with his own strength.. it will NOT be fruitful... when man do it with God's strength, it shows and it will be fruitful..

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So, Fear the Lord. Do what he says... Dun just blind like a bat and go kill yourself and ask to be crucified!!! If you are not called to die on the cross like Peter, then perhaps you are the one writing one of the most important book in the Bible.. so do our part.. as God has requested of us.. Obey and not blindly sacrifice.. God did said.. Obedience is better than sacrifice...

Christmas at the Curve

Just went to the Curve with Sharon, Logan, Han Then, Nigel, Alexander and me..

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Had dinner at Bubba Gump (Shrimp Co.) I think the salad I ordered was yuks.. to the max.. RM29.90 ler.. I can't appreciate the taste lar I guess.. Nigel ordered something like Chicken and prawn fired balls.. ok wor.. Han Then had the Burger.. Sharon had the prawn soup or something.. Logan, had the whole appetizer to himself... He can't even finished it by the way.. it's huge!!!

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Alexander will loves his yogurt though.. This boy ah... haiyo.. cannot sit still for even a min lar.. daddy and mommy is so tired.. At least daddy got extra fat to burn for you lar Boy Boy... Mommy dun have lar..

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The decoration outside the Curve was nice and sweet.. but we didn't get to walk or shop coz it was about 9pm already when we came out from the restaurant..

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The purpose we go there to have dinner is to take Christmas photo with Alexander lor.. so I think all of us had fun fellowship and take photos with the nice Christmas trees :D

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I like this photo Alexander and Han Then... candid and merry.. LOL

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Wah... as for Logan and Sharon.. Ai seh.. macam anak sendiri oh... LOL...

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Don't you think so?? ahahahaha.. Very proud GodParent of Alexander.. ahahaha..

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ahahaha... We are Family!!!~~~ Daddy mommy Alexander & baby!!!~~~ (Now i see my hair look a bit like Nigel's hair hor.. akakekekeke.. perhaps I need a another nice hair cut :D..)

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Alexander still needs to grow more hair lar..

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It was a good night!! Besides us being a bit late and that Alexander cannot sit still during dinner time.. everything else was wonderful... We had fun :) tired but fun..

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Thanks you guys for making it.. Will post the photos as soon as I can on facebook....

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Next stop... 1U~~~~!!!!! Anyone wanna join us for dinner?? Ahahaha..
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My First Christmas Gift...

Can you guess from who??

:D who else lar.. Nigel lor.. I also gave him his first 2009 Christmas present..

Some of you already know wht it is lar.. LOL.. funny..

I will share the photos later.. it's in my phone and have to up load it first..

Going to take photo with Alexander for Christmas soon.. next year CNY also.. coz this year CNY didn't really get to take nice photos with him..

Looking back at 2009.. it was WOW!!! So much had happen just within tt one year period.. I'm glad I'm still alive.. alive means still living a fulfilled life.. not without hope, not without joy, not without a smile on my face.. I always though tt one day, should my mother goes back to the Lord, I would loose my smile and my joy.. I did, but for a while.. Thank God, Jesus was there all the time.. He sent ppl tt cares for me, comfort and supported me.. I am glad for everyone and everything..

So much yet to come in 2010.. are you looking forward to it!!!??? I said this last year ahahahah and see wht I had to go through.. I hope this coming new year will be a great and awesome one..

Clear half way :D

I am glad to have a great dicussion with Nic and Pastor along with Jaecie and Nigel last night.

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Cleared a lot of stuffs yet (yes, i went home and continue to think and ponder on things...) I must clear ALL outstanding matters since we all need to say every single thing that would seem to be a possible issue.. for the past and for the future. So the devil cannot use these things to hinder us from moving forward again..

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Yesterday session was a good one, confrontation is not a bad thing, really. It may not be comfortable but the result is unity, clarity, understanding and forgiveness. Confrontation is not one way, it's both ways. So it is a good way to communicate in the most serious manner.. (tt's wht I think.)

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There should be some annoucements to be done to set things right (may be? dunno yet) and from now on everything should be recorded (from my side) when it comes to official statements lar.. so when there are changes, we have a record and we can be on the same page.

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Forgive me for being absents physically and mindlessly (is there such a word??haha..).. being pregnant again this time is a bit more though physically (even for my brain). Sometimes I can't feel my brain moving much.. really!!? my heart is still beating strong.. but thinking wise.. I dun even know the date or time.. just know tt morning take care and sayang Alexander before going to work, then whole day work, go home have dinner then sleep... tt was it!!! Only recently was truly able to think and pray.. even reading the word I restart recently since I got pregnant this year coz I can't even get myself to do any other things..

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I am still the main person over seeing CPY while Nic and Joon Lang (and sometimes Han Then and Rebecca helps out..) is my leaders in this youth.. I some how portrait that I am not the head of the ministry and has caused confusion among the youth (in a way). They are sometimes lost because they dunno who to listen to when they should have come to me to seek answers and clarity rather than just asking the other leaders, then only I can clarify the situation for ALL.

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I can say I give much liberty to Nic to do almost everything and sometimes when he submits a request for an event and activity, it's a pretty good idea. But I need to learn how to convey this to the young people that Nic did ask for my feedback every time before he goes and do it.. Of course with Pastor's consent (sometimes yes and sometimes not yet).. but at times, we still misses Q.. but we are still learning to communicate more often and more efficiently. Right Nic?

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I hope all my leaders and youth understands that I am not judging them..I am protecting them and supporting them in every way that I can.. I am still learning lar; we are all still learning..

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Learning to be better and truly live to please God.

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Especially when I come to you with questions or doubts, instructions or even an advise (rebuke even).. I think we all need to be answerable to our actions and be aware of it, even myself.. (Please know that I am open and ready for critiques from leaders and youth at any point of time but share it with love and patient as I have with all.) But never ever lie to me (please don't), that is my request for a healthy relationship.. Being honest to each other is the foundation for all relationships. Don't lie because of fear of the outcome. It is better to say the truth and deal with the matter head on..

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Nigel has been a wonderful husband who has supported me in EVERYTHING. His reaction towards my frustration is most of the time... enlightening.. hahaha.. only Nigel could make me feel that way.. sometimes after expressing my frustration and perhaps anger (especially about the ministry).. he always comes up with something interesting or supportive to help me cope.. I truly love this man who is a voice behind all the scene of my life..

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Even though he seems to be behind me all the time, he has always been in my eyes (I put him first before me..) and in my heart.. I believe in what he does for our family is with much love and sacrifice... even though it takes a long time to actually seems like it, but I am as a wife, companion and friend should be more supportive and understanding in every way possible. --May God give me patience :P

Drawn to the warmth

Factoring in the windshill, I knew the temperature was below zero. The bitter cold cut through my Californian sensibilities, as well as my enthusiasm as a tourist, so I ducked through the nearest door for warmth.. and found myself in Washington, D.C.'s Union Station.

I settled onto one of the public benches with a streaming cup of coffee--waiting for feeling to return to my fingers and toes--and relaxed to engage in some serious people watching.

Several tables of diners spilled out into the great hall from the upscale American Restaurant, and heavenly aromas tempted me to consider an early dinner. I observed a man seated nearby and from the longing in his eyes, realized that he too, noticed the tantalizing food. His gaunt body, wind-chapped hands and tattered clothes nearly shouted, "Homeless, homeless!"

How long has it been since he's eaten? I wondered.

Half expecting him to approach me for a handout, I almost welcomed such a plea. He never did. The longer I took in the scene, the cruder his plight seemed. My head and heart waged a silent was, the one telling me to mind my own business, the other urging a trip to the food court on his behalf.

While my internal debate raged on, a well-dressed young couple approached him. "Excuse me, sir," the husband began. "My wife and I just finished eating, and our appetites weren't as big as we thought. We hate to waste good food. Can you help us out and put this to use?" He extend a large Styrofoam container.

"God bless you both. Merry Christmas," came the grateful reply.

Pleased, yet dismayed by my own lack of action, I continued to watch. The man srutized his newfound bounty, rearranged the soup crackers, inspected the club sandwich and stirred the salad dressing--obviously prolonging this miracle meal. Then, with a slow deliberateness, he lifted the soup lid and, cupping his hands around the steaming warm bowl, inhaled. At last, he unwrapped the plastic spoon, filled it to overflowing, lifted it towards his mouth and --with a suddenness that stunned me--stopped short.

I turned my head to follow his narrow-eyed gaze.

Entering the hall and shuffling in our direction was a new arrival. Hatless and gloveless, the elderly man was clad in lightweight pants, a threadbare jacket and open shoes. His hands were raw, and his face had bluish tint. I wasn't alone in gasping aloud at this sad sight, but my needy neighbor was the only one doing anything about it..

Setting aside his meal, he leaped up and guided the elderly man to an adjacent seat. He took his icy hands and rubbed them briskly in his own. With a final tenderness, he draped his worn jacket over the older man's shoulders.

"Pop, my name's Jack," he said, "and one of God's angels brought me this meal. I just finished eating and hate to waste good food. Can you help me out?"

He placed the still warm bowl of soup in the stranger's hands without waiting for an answer. But he got one.

"Sure, son, but only if you go halfway with me on that sandwich. It's too much fir a man my age."

It wasn't easy making my way to the food court with tears blurring my vision, but I soon returned with large containers of coffee and a big assortment of pastries. " Excuse me, gentlemen, but..."

I left Union Station that day feeling warmer than I had ever thought possible.

Marion Smith..

Time flies.. hmm.. or does it?

Is time pasting fast or slow? Is 2 years a long time? or short?

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Ahahaha we are married for two years now :D normally no real celebration, the day will still goes the sames as before.. wake up, go work and come home..

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Last year, we celebrated it with Alexander Full moon in church... LOL.. this year.. we need to go for my bb medical check up... LOL.. sure got something to do on tt day... :D and it would involve our children.. but not our anniversary celebration...

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Two years is not as long as you may think but we have been together for about 8 years... So, if we count the time we spend together.. It's pretty good..

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From the years I've known Nigel.. we learnt and grown together.. we are not without differences.. in fact! we are almost total opposites... he likes meat, i love veggies; he loves the cold, i like it warm and hot; he likes Chinese food (not soup); i like western food (but love Chinese soup); he loves to stay at home, i'm the social type; he loves the TV and his computer, I love the great outdoors and picnics; he likes the nigth, I adores the mornings; He enjoys dinner most, i love having breakfast.. ahahahah and the list goes on and on and on... this is just our likes and dislikes... I haven't got to our differences in character yet!!! :D

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Not to say we had it smooth and romantic.. (trust me.. Nigel is not the type that sends flowers and cards... he only send flowers to me.. 3 times in our 8 years of relationship.. once is the first date, second to say sorry.. and 3rd!!! on my bridal shower.. coz Tien CHing and Michelle ask him to.. LOL) We had it rough actually, some of our AIA frens didn't even thought we would made it this far.. not tt to prove them wrong.. really it's not.. I do believe them when they had that thought coz it was truly impossible for these two opposites to live and stay together..

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All I can say is that it is possible if we allow God to be in the center of our relationship.. Nigel may not have memorized the word in the bible like many great Christlike man. But Nigel has come a long way in making himself better and trying to be a better person for us and God.

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As a wife, I cannot always complain.. I will of course, in so many ways and in so many things.. but I do try to be the good wife, partner and friend God wants me to be.. every time i have a complain.. I will tell Nigel about it.. then remember the vow that I made on our wedding day.. I still remember one sentence that is vital in our marriage.. and that is to respect him..

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I know as a women, it is sometimes very hard to respect the men.. coz we are so capable.. ahahahaha (perasan) :P but he is the head of the house and he must be respected.. but men too need to take up his responsibility lar.. if he is not.. we the wife need to encourage a bit lar.. nag a bit bit enough d.. not too much.. (I always tell myself tt.. so i always count how many times i actually talk about certain issues :D) but if it is out of hand and husband not doing anything to improve.. then perhaps need to seek outside help lar.. but try our very best first lor..

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Remember that we married a fallen man... not an angel!!! they are not perfect in so many ways.. and so are we... but I believe in doing the best that we could possibly can for our hubby with God's help is the key...

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I am still learning to be a better wife and companion for Nigel..

I pray Nigel is doing the same for me too :D

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Happy anniversary darling... I love you~~~ :*

Thought of the day..

Do you feel you are carrying the Cross everyday? and think that you shouldn't? Think again...

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We are called to carry our Cross, as Jesus carried the Cross.. He may have died for us on the Cross but we are to carry our own cross to the finish line.. Can't be too lazy and ask God carry it for us you know..

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So, life is not as easy as we think.. it never is.. it never will be..

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But we have the Hope and Joy and the Peace of the Lord to pull us through anything! Jesus has the power to pull us out of the pits of hell! In our most vulnerable moments, we have our loving Father to help us through.

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He is loving, yet He will not spare us from pain nor sufferings. Why? So we will not be so naive.. too careless and foolish.. He will do everything to put us back on path.. on the right path.. and it may not come easy.. We just need to realize it that it is God's working in our circumstances..

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Until the whole mess is sorted out, what we need to do it live wisely and not like the unwise! Be mindful of our actions and live in obedience. Don't waste our sacrifices when it does not please God. Live according to His will that please Him coz only Him that is worthy of all worship and praise..

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My heart is troubled with much sorrow and disappointments, but it is my cross to carry I know.. I will not give up hope, will not back down, will not stay down so "iblis" can take advantage of it. (You dream lar! iblis! You may be powerful but I have Jesus!) Never under estimate the enemy, he is powerful coz he was the angel of God! he is so influential that 1/3 of the angels followed his ways. he was the anointed one, he was the great worshiper yet he turned his back on God by worshiping himself.

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Do not always blame the devil for our mistakes either.. sometimes he doesn't need to do anything but to leave us to destroy ourselves.. We are fallen, we are not "malaikat" or angels who are perfect beings. But we have salvation, we have second chances.. Don't blow it!

"All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth".. lol.. Do you remember this song?

Elaine sang this when I lost my 1 front tooth last year... ahahaha.. and no~~~ i dun wish for the teeth.. i can get it from the dentist.. :D

I wanna use this post to tag those ppl i know who has a Blog and post what they want for Christmas this year.. There are rules to this..

Rule 1: Must be affordable to many (so please don't state your dream gift like Diamond Ring, brand new car, a pet doggy etc..) Something your friends can afford.

Rule 2: Useful things please. (Don't give me toys.. haiyo.. how old are u? unless!!! You are a girl!! If u are a guy.. I'll Knock your socks off!!!)

Rule 3: Something Ppl can buy off the shelf. (Please lar don't tell me special edition card or book that is no where to be found.. that one wait for your special someone to buy for u..)

Rule 4) At least 10 in the list of gifts.

OK.. that's all lar I think.. Let me start with my Christmas list :D

1) AA and D Batteries (For my son's toys...)

2) Wet tissue paper (packet ones, we always run out of it when we needed it the most and yes, it's for Alexander's bum.)

3) Good books to read. (starting to read again recently so a good book is always welcome.)

4) Disposable diapers.. (LOL.. obviously for my son also.. aheheheehee..)

5) Socks (Can you believe it.. I dun have any :D and I think I need it when I deliver next year.. LOL)

6) Doggie Treats. ( I know its like for my doggies but it's really for our pleasure :D making them happy makes us happy and Alexander loves to see them get excited!)

7) A or A few committed prayer partner(s). (Any takers? there is no monetary value here but your time and love is more valuable.. oh...and it's not just for Christmas!! Its for at least for a year.. ahehehehe... expensive this one.. and it's not one way.. it's two..)

8) Children books for my Children. (All I think about is my children lar.. ahahahaha.. Don't ask me anything for Nigel... I even got problem thinking of what to get him for Christmas.. why? Coz i get him stuff many times.. the other stuffs he wanted.. i can't afford.. too bad :P )

9) Nice Containers or Paper Boxes. (Ahahahaha i love them.. but Nigel always hate sit when i bring or bought some home ahehehehe... i like tidying stuffs and put them into nice containers or boxes.. it looks organized..)

10) Buy something for the Orphans. (ok lar.. this may not be useful for me but good for the someone else who really needs a cheer during Christmas.. Some shopping complex actually helps orphanage this Christmas by putting up their wish list on a Christmas tree.. Get a present for me from you.. that would be my wish too.. choose the ones you can afford and bless others who are in more need than I am.. without expecting anything in return..)

So there!! Easy for those who wanna bless me with wet tissue paper this year.. affordable and useful... LOL

Now.. I would like to tag (and dun repeat tag ok? You tag your other friends that I dunno.):
Rebecca,
Stephanie,
Jenny,
Eric,
Kenneth,
Carol,
Jin Ing,
Jerrica,
Jeremy,
Wai wai,
Su Jane,
Dexter,
Han Then,
Nic Wong,
Marcus Heng,
Crystal Lim.

Your Turn!! Your Turn!!!

Christmas songs...

So what is your favorite Christmas song?

Hmm... I dunno myself.. I think it depends on who sang the song? Oldies are lovely Christmas songs.. "White Christmas" is soft and sweet, seating near the fire place, having some tea and chatting with family... it's a nice feeling..

One of my fav would be the Christmas carols like "Joy to the World." " Silent night""Away in a manger" etc... especially when a choir sang it.. it would be so powerful! Full of excitement and high spirited!! filled with God's majestic presences!!

I love this old group all.. Alba.. (I think...) their Christmas songs are so retro!!! "In the river of Babylon." and their other songs are very up beat and joyful.. they look like gangsters but the songs reflect a sense of Joy being a Christian on Christmas.. the Hope and Joy of having Christ..

One small button...

Have you ever feel that someone had just press the prohibited button?

And your head started to explode with anger and frustrations?

How did that happened? How come we got a button that cannot be pressed... or else!!!

Could it be because there is so much dissatisfaction? much disappointments and frustrations we keep keeping bit by bit, like the fire powder in a barrel of explosive, in our heart and soul that one day.. a person accidentally press the ignition button.. and we exploded with a great Bomb!!!!

All die!!! including ourselves..

Advice? We should always talk about the little things tt bother us.. and hope the other person will understand.. with this, we dun keep the fire powder.. second.. if we have to keep it because we don't wanna sound naggy, then when it does explode, please remember to keep the explosion within a limit.. Dun lar keep Ka-Bomb, Ka-bomb and then Bomb bomb blast Ka-bomb some more and it has become an explosion that wiped out half of the world!!!

Cool down after a few Ka-bomb lar.. in a family, a normal family, where got dun have arguments and explosive moments one.. sure have one.. if dun have also a big problem.. means all parties are so numb, they dun even bother or care anymore.. worst and serious case d... they believe there is not help, no cure, no hope.. so just let is die silently... this is the worst thing that could happen to our fire powder.. it has become poison in our heart, mind and soul... will take more to heal the pain and fear..

Anyway.. we hope to have less arguements and more communication lar hor.. :D

New Revelation..

It's not really new I suppose.. but understanding this beyond understanding is something special..

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Worship leading for more than 2-3 years now.. I really loose count of time.. I know nothing about keys, I know nothing about tempo (in fact I almost always go out of tempo, especially in the beginning of my serving..) I know nothing about linking one song to the next with creativity.. NOTHING!!! ZERO!!! thus.. I feel I am so incapable.. which in fact I am also lar..

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All I know is sing.. but slowly and surely.. with help of experience and talented musicians.. I have improved.. I have practice my worship (for worship leading) but most of all.. I really pray for it.. To lead worship is not a simple as it seems.. God Must Be the center of the worship and our lives must reflect that as we lead His ppl..

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The revelation that came to me like a slap on the face was that some worship service that we have in this time is not to glrify, worship or praise God.. it's to make us feel good about God.. It does not serve as a worship and praise to God anymore.. it's like a session for us to feel good about being a Christan.. and that's wrong! We should be bringing glory and really lift God's name on high!!! not just with the songs but with our attitudes and with our lives! Everyday is a worship and an offering to God..

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In every worship we should always ask.. "Lord, are you pleased with our offerings? Are you satisfied with the sacrifice we brought?" and not.. "How do I feel after the worship? Is it a good worship for me?" haiya.. Worship is for God, not for us..

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I do appreciate ppl coming up to me and tell me tt it was a good worship... really.. but I dun know how to react to that.. honestly.. coz i'm not doing it for you.. (not that I dun care for you..) I mean.. If God spoken to you during the worship, then it is His grace.. If you are touched by His presence, it is His mercy.. If you felt God is there with you in your circumstances, that's His love.. It is when we worship Him whole heartedly, He, our Lord is pleased, then perhaps.. (perhaps) He will bless you with all these gifts.. My concerned is-has our worship been worthy of You, Lord.. If the Lord is pleased not just for my and my worship team's worship, but for His People's worship... then I have done my part as a worship leader..

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Leading His ppl to put aside all things and just come as ONE upon His thrown, to worship and praise Him... that is a real challenge..

Sleepy and tired..

sorry for not updating currently.. sleepy and really tired lar..

Will try to up date something soon..

hopefully.. Night~~

My teachers..

I almost cried out when i saw this photos.. The one on our left, is actually my 2 years older senior.. Simon Kong.. One of the most talented Chinese Orchestra player and Conductor I know..

Then One of my Science Teacher.. which i totally forgotten his name.. but i remember once thing about him.. That he was a very kind man.. He had never loose his temper and had all the patience for his students..

Then, Mr Hiew, I remember him coz he was our vice principal.. He is so gentle and kind.. I can't believe he was not the head master after my generation.. Then the far right.. Mr Teo, my music teacher.. who i use to hang out at his house for lunch and tea and once stayed over with his family coz my mom couldn't come and pick me up after a performance.. he and his family was so kind..

To see them grown so old when I don't feel like I left too long ago makes me a little sad..

Like suddenly they grown so old..

Time really flies.. but I can see that they are happy.. they are honored.. and they are respected..

They have been so faithful..

This was my orchestra practice area.. I use to seat at the blue chair where all the flute were..

We had some good times and hard times then.. but mostly.. great times :)

The Chinese Music Orchestra was like a church to me back then..

We have a saying:

Chinese Orchestra is a Family..

Gossiping...

You either in, or you are out!!!

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So am I in? or out? I'm most probably the off? like.. "har? what happened? why am I the last to know?" that kinda off.. do I gossip... I could never say no, just like asking me "Do you sin?" of course yes lar.. but never proud of it.. but trying as much as I can to not to and be a better person..

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I was a victim of gossip to.. and I know how it feels.. since young, the gossip had an impact in my life until to a point... It made me nuts!! depressed and now I know how to handle it.. I know I have overcome this thing call Gossip.. In my life, Gossip started since primary School!!! So dun you think i got enough practice on it? lol... Always being the victim and not just being gossiped but being judged based on the gossips.. because of some childish reasons people accuse me of doing.. like wht, you may ask? like not smiling when we meet; Close my eye when I look towards the person; Worst gossip!!! I said something bad about someone when I didn't!!! Gossips becomes an accusation without any basis.. Silly and petty incidence right? ya.. children mar..

But does it mean it hurt less? Of course no lar.. the whole class believed in those gossips and never consider that it could just have been a misunderstanding that it made me loose friends.. I hate untrue accusations..

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On the other hand.. when issues that is gossiped is actual true... now what? So I am still the victim? If you have nothing to talk about, people wouldn't BE talking about you... right? Jeng Jeng Jeng~~~ Slander is always a bad thing.. but we can't stop others from talking illy of us, because we may have hurt them, without knowing.. and we cannot blame them for not being up front either.. Even though we know they should do that but before we chould say that about them... are we the same? har... if we are... then nothing to say lar.. coz if we point the finger on them, you are pointing more fingers back on yourself.. Means, we may be gossiping others also.. check ourselves first hor.. may be God is trying to make us taste our own meds.. Just think about it lar..

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So how to handle gossip? how to take the slanders? When it's true or untrue?

What does the bible said? When you know there is a gossip.. don't hind behind it lar.. If it is possible.. go and tell your brother/sister or the person tt hates u :P that he/she had slander and that has hurt you.. if the person dun listen, bring another fren.. and if again the person don't listen.. then you may have to ask for higher authority to deal with the person.. Means you need to Confront the gossiper with Love..

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For me if it is untrue gossip, I may take the coward way out... easier.. just ignore it.. since it is untrue... it will not stick long.. and my true frens will know me for who I am and know tt it is untrue.. I do not need to be afraid of any untrue gossips... but there is a problem with this method.. What if others (who does not really know me) believes in the gossip and they acted on it? then I am in big trouble.. .

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How if it is true? We did made this mistake and we did put shame onto ourselves... We feel terrible, don't we... and yet our 'family' members put salt onto our wounds.. it hurts more.. we feel rejected, depress, then up set and later, disappointed, devastated then angry... you know where it leads. So, same thing, what should we do? Go to the person who started all this gossiping and found out how we have hurt them, repent, find forgiveness (sincerely) and peace in them then move on... But I know sometimes even after that, people still continue to talk or they don't forgive us.. but we did our part.. Do what ever we humanly can and leave the rest to God lor..

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For me, I may just talk to someone else, repent and then only talk to the person I've hurt.. Coz I'm not tt strong to just go up to a person and ask wht's going on without preparing myself for the worst..

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So, we learn from the Bible what should we do lar.. It's not easy and nobody likes to confront others.. regardless they are right or wrong.. but all I know is, it is the right thing to do when we do this in love..

Having another baby...

Being pregnant for the second time is not an easy task.. especially when you have one older kid which is still, in a lot of ways... a baby... to take care of.. tiring!!!

So i hope my post will be short and sweet from now on.. except when I have much emotions or thoughts I would like to express.. (wai.. no time..) ahahaha..

Check up today... here are some.. erm... baby photos? :P See if you can see my little baby's head, hands and feet...

This is a 3D scan... I think? Still look a little.. erm.. alien? :P still growing and forming mar..

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My children cannot be too serious lar.. must take life sometimes (sometimes) with a pinch of salt.. Serious when needs to be serious.. and still able to laugh at ourselves at times..
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Can you see baby's head, hands and feet?

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Ei? EDD is 26 May 2010.. ahahaha no more 23rd May? :P Could be early like Alexander and it will be 23rd May 2010.. ahahaha..

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You may ask if I would like to have the same birthday as my baby... i will tell you.. No. I want her to have her own special day.. no need to share with anyone from the family.. :D but even if it is on the same day, then we'll make it special for the both of us..

Alexander 1st Birthday..

Alexander's 1 year old birthday was a blast!! Thank you all for making it.. Thank you for the presents and monetary gifts.. and gifts to come :D

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I'm so greatful that my father, mother, younger brother in law manage to make it to this special event.. And my bro Kennedy, sis in law , Edward and Connicious from my side of the family came too. Truly glad you all made it..

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All our AIA frens and church members.. thank you for taking the trouble being there.. hope it was fun for all of you as it is for us... My Corbis frens.. hope you had a good time with some of our old frens..

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I'm sure the children had fun coz there was so much toys, goodies and fries for them.. ahahaha.. and dun forget having Chicky there (the mascot) was one of Alexander's fav time.. Alexander's eye just brightens up as soon as he layed his eyes on Chicky.. ahaha.. I think if Alexander could talk, he would want to bring Chicky home..

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The party was awesome with family and frens and the little children running around with colourful balloons and toys to bring home.. food was of course pretty standard.. wished it could be better though.. but really, it's the ppl that went there tt made the place so brighten up..

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I haven't seen my official photographer's photos yet.. i hope i get to see them soon :) Some pictures taken by my frens was wonderful.. thank you Han Then, Wai wai, Chris Lim and Lydia Yee for posting it on facebook..

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Must apologies if we did not manage to take photos with some of the families attended that day.. we have more opportunities again.. dun worry :)
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Must say that we enjoyed ourselves very much..

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To my son Alexander.. Happy Birthday darling.. on 1st November 2009 (Sunday)

A Soldiers Prayer

We are all Soldiers of God.. we go into battles that we believe for wht we stand for. Not just for a country or the safety of our family but for a Kingdom that last forever. We wished that there would be no war, not war on earth no war anywhere, no more death no more good byes..

But the spiritual battle in everyone of us, we must go through.. the war between good and evil will never end.. until Jesus comes again.. Those smiles from our loved ones are like the fulfillment of our hearts when we enter heaven one day.. as we are in the battle field the only place we wanna be is home.. and where God is, there is where we call home..

When our flight is over and we meet Him face to face,
Our Heavenly Father will tell us,
that He is proud that we ran a good race.
He will give us a hug and and gentle kiss on the cheek,
and the best thing of all,
He'll wishper...
"Welcome home my child, you are now at peace."

"you never gave up, when things went so wrong.
you never back down, from troubles and mourns.
you stand for truth and righteousness in My Kingdom
you forgive and make peace so you may lead them"

"you've run a good race that I am proud of
you've stand your ground, rooted with my wisdom
you've show the world that I love them too
as you showed your love as I have loved you."

Among faith, hope and love; the greatest is Love
show it and give it to all that deserves
the hardest lesson one could ever know
Is to love so much that it hurt our soul

yet God ask us to love unconditionally
expecting nothing, not even a candy
it hurst so much when another doesn't love back..
but know that Jesus also went through that

What love got to do about the war or the battle?
i think because we always struggle
To love or not to love; to forgive or not to forgive?
The answer? You know what it is...

Verbs about my relationship with God:

Love
When I die, I hope my tomb stone would write

“Jesus loves you. Yea you! I’m talking to you. Yea! You standing in front of my tomb stone!”

LOL.. One of the hardest act of grace and kindness is to Love.. When we forgive, we love.. When we let go, we love.. When we obey, we love.. When we sacrifice, we love.. When just listen, we love.. When we strife (for someone), we love.. When we pray, we love.. When we care, we love.. When we persevere, we love.. When we give, we love.. When we endure, we love.. When we trust, we love.. When we leave the men alone when they are not thinking about anything, we love :D We tries to understand (even if we really don’t), we love..

Passionate
I am passionate about many things.. but the most important is not things at all.. they are ppl in my life.. that made a difference in my whole being.. Passion for Jesus that I live my live according (as much as I could) to His word.. in hope that when we meet face to face He will say to me,

“You have run a great race, Susana Magdalene! I’m proud of you, my anak (LOL)! Come and join me.” ..

Jesus drives me! His promises provokes me! His love moved me! His life, inspire me! His spirit, transformed me! Passion for the things Christ called me to do.. Anything he calls me to do.. to choose Him first and I mean first was the hardest act of passion yet filled with conviction and determination, I choose Jesus..

Compassionate
Because I’m such an emotional person… my weakness as well as my strength I suppose.. I have compassion for my family that I pray and consider them the closest people that could know me inside out.. in hope that one day I will see them together in the place where God is in eternity.. family does not mean only blood related, friends who are closer than my own blood, they are family to me.. In my heart and spirit, I always have compassion for troubled teens coz I was a troubled teen too.. I know I can be a miracle for someone someday… (nightmare for others.. akakakaka.. all in the line fo duty!) as I believe I am called to be.. a nightmare… NO LAR!!!!!~~ akakakaka…. may be a nobody to the world, but somebody to you.. (Yea you! I’m talking to you! Yea you reading this post :P)

Inspirational
God is such an inspiration tomy life that I can’t stop learning and growing (in tears and joy) in His presence and in everything that I do.. daily! God is in everything I do.. In His word, in the music that I hear, in the smiles of my darlings, in the lives of friends and the struggles of teenagers, etc. He inspire me to be better, to see with His heart and not with my own eyes.. (sometimes I wish I don't coz then I feel I know too much.. knowing doesn't make us wise… is when we execute the knowledge in God’s Spirit that knowledge becomes wisdom.) To understand people around me even when I don’t, To feel wht He feels, to know what He knows.. especially what is in God’s heart..

Transforming
How can someone say that they love Jesus but their lives did not change at all!? Where got such thing? Nonsense! A life without transformation is a live without Jesus.. (Don’t persecute me when I say that, please..) If our lives is not changed then something is truly wrong! Either (I dun wanna way it) or we did not love Jesus enough to let go of our OLD self, our old ways, our old mind set/thinking? Make sense?

Re 2:21 I gave her time to repent, but she would not turn away from her immorality.

Look at the lives of all who have been touched by God.. Not one is not transformed.. none.. Many dunno how I was transformed because many thought that I was always nice.. I am nice (i think but just being nice ain't gonna make me who I am today).. and insecure, confuse, indecisive, naive, paranoid, hot tempered, emotional and much more.. but God gave me confidence, gave me hope and strength and joy.. Most of all His love and life on the cross.. how can anyone be the same again..

“Jesus loves you! Yea! YOU!!!”